McJinx's Epilogues
by McJinx64
Summary: Since the ABC-message boards canceled my epilogues because their contents were too much ;- I decided to put them up here. I will post every epilogue here so you can read them over and over again...Please enjoy. The epilogues are mostly Merder centric.
1. It Started With A Kiss

**IT STARTED WITH A KISS...**

Meredith Grey settled herself comfortably against the wall of her living room and closed her eyes. Letting the soft music of the radio gently lull her to sleep, she firmly ignored the pangs of guilt trying to remind her that she was supposed to be thinking about her future. Tomorrow her seven-year internship would start at Seattle Grace Hospital; the hospital in which her mother's fame had grown to famous heights! Ignoring the reminder that her mother had given her – in one of the spare moments, she was still lucid – Meredith told herself that it was as a result of the stress of the move to Seattle that she felt so exhausted, so drained and so completely unable to take charge of her life and direct if firmly back into the ambitious channels, she had planned for herself during med school. She was definitely ready to follow in her mother's footsteps although her mom had told her often enough, she wasn't strong enough. Back in Boston it had all seemed so simple, she would finish medical school; she would become an intern and she would progress up her career ladder to become a famous surgeon and all that before her thirty-fifth birthday. And yet, here she was at twenty-seven; a young, troubled woman who had to take care of her mother, who suffered from Alzheimer's' disease next to a stressful medical career which was about to start tomorrow. Meredith let out a small sigh. Tonight would definitely be her last night to relax. She had to unwind and chase away the frightening thoughts her mother had planted in her head even before she'd even started. When she had visited her mom in the morning, Ellis had sarcastically laughed; "_You're not strong enough to become a doctor_", she'd told Meredith. "_You don't have the guts to take life-threatening decisions_". Meredith shook her head and slowly rose from the floor. She went upstairs to her bedroom and glanced sadly around. Slightly aware of the early start she would need in the morning, she determinedly opened her wardrobe and pulled out a tight, black dress. Tonight was time to unwind, she thought stubbornly to herself when she slipped into her high heels and put up some lip gloss.

It was on moments like these, Derek Shepherd was glad, he'd moved to Seattle. He stood in front of his trailer, taking deep breaths and inhaling fresh mountain air. The day was nearly over and the sun began to set. Derek's head followed the sun, bending his neck to soak up as much of its last rays as he could. He glanced at the horizon and then at the stretch of land that lay out before him. He was surrounded by the most beautiful wooded area, he ever could have imagined. Derek smiled, this land was all his! The grass and the trees were a dark, rich green and they swayed slightly in a breeze. Deer, mice and rabbits raced across the field and behind the trees and off to the left, a brook bubbled quietly, its surface glinting red in the sunset. Derek smiled again and stepped inside his trailer. He loved these moments, especially after a hard day's work at the hospital where he'd started his job a few weeks earlier. Derek still was glad Richard had given him the opportunity to get away from New York after his wife had betrayed him in the worst possible way. Derek still couldn't erase the awful memories from his head; images of his naked wife and his best friend making love in their bed. Derek slowly shook his head and grabbed his jacket. His euphoria from moments before was gone and he desperately was in need for a drink.

Meredith sat in the bar and nervously glanced around. She was new in town and knew nobody, not that she minded. She'd always been a very private person but now she felt a bit awkward. What would people think of her; a young, frail woman…alone in a bar? The bartender seemed to notice her state of mind and gave her a friendly nod. Meredith smiled back and remarked that it was a busy night. The bartender couldn't answer and instead took one of the four orders coming to him. Meredith watched him as he sweet talked the customers into purchasing the more expensive liquors. He poured them into pretty shaped glasses, mixing them with pretty coloured beverages. Meredith stared at the drinks in the stranger's hands, watched them laughing and getting slowly more red in the face.

Derek sat back in his chair and amusingly watched the young woman in front of him. She'd caught his attention the moment he'd sat foot in the bar. She was pretty and certainly not feeling at ease in the crowded bar but Derek also hesitated. He was clearly attracted by the young, petite blonde but it almost felt like cheating. He was still married but hadn't his wife clearly decided that their marriage wasn't worth fighting for when she choose to sleep with his best friend? Derek took in a deep breath and slowly walked towards the bar.

Meredith turned around and looked at the rows of bottles behind the bartender. He leaned over the bar and smiled politely: "What'll it be"? Meredith pointed at a bottle and the bartender frowned: "Straight tequila"? You'll be sorry in the morning! Meredith couldn't hide a smile. I'm always sorry in the morning…but tomorrow I start my first day at work so…keep them coming!

The bar stool next to the young woman was free and Derek walked past her. He nodded towards the bartender. "Double scotch, single malt please". He glanced at the young woman. "So…is this a good place to hang out"? She nervously cleared her throat and briefly looked at him. "I wouldn't know…never been here before". Derek smiled. "Ah…you know what, I haven't been either…first time here…I'm new in town"! I've never been to Seattle…a new job. He tried to look at the young woman but she ignored him and stared straight ahead. Derek hesitated. What was he doing? But instead of backing away, he tried again, "Ah…you're ignoring me." She turned to him. "I'm trying to."

Derek was glad he'd managed to get her attention again. "You shouldn't ignore me." She smiled slightly and Derek almost got lost in the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen. He smiled confidently and softly said, "Because I'm someone you get to know and to love!" She giggled, "Really?" Derek felt more confident and he felt a flutter in his stomach, he hadn't felt in a long, long time. "Oh yeah!" She nodded. "So if I know you…I love you?" Derek nodded. "Oh, yes!"

The young girl seemed slightly annoyed but still smiled. "You really like yourself…huh?"

"Just hiding my pain." She started laughing and Derek smiled. That seemed to have broken the ice between them. He intently studied her face. "So…what's your story?" She slowly answered. "I don't have a story…I'm just a girl in a bar." Derek raised his glass. "I'm just a guy in a bar."

He took a sip from his drink and stared in the young woman's eyes. She didn't look away but smiled at him friendly. Derek noticed her glass was empty so he turned to the bartender. "I want to buy the lady a drink." Meredith pointed at her shot glass and the bartender filled it. Derek reached for his drink and in the process knocked over the glass, the bartender had just filled. Flustered with his own stupidity, he felt his face glowing but she reached out her hand to help sop up the spilled scotch. She brushed his hand and caught his eye. It was only a brief moment but Derek held her attention as **green** met **blue** in the short distance between their eyes. Derek scooted closer and chatted with the young woman for the remainder of the evening and deep into the night. He thought only briefly of the work he should be doing in the morning and the surgeries he had to prepare for the next day. He was so enjoying the young woman's company, he dismissed his duties and focused on this stunning, young woman. As many hours drifted past they became abruptly aware that with the exception of the bartender (Joe as he'd introduced himself to them), they were the only people left in the large, silent bar. The young woman pointed out that she would leave soon and Derek, with a sudden rush of panic that he would never see her again, nervously cleared his throat, "Do you wanna go somewhere else...talk...maybe have a cop of coffee?"

A million thoughts filled Meredith's head. Did he really want to go somewhere and just talk…or did he mean something else? And if that something else meant that he wanted her to go with him, did she want to? Meredith bit her lower lip. She was obviously attracted to this guy. He had the most amazing blue eyes she'd ever seen. "What do you have in mind?" she asked, her heart beating wildly as she anticipated his answer. Derek shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know but let's get out of here…before they'll kick us out". Meredith giggled and placed her small hand in his.

The fresh night air was a welcome relief after the warm bar. They walked along the sidewalk silently and Derek briefly closed his eyes. He felt himself drift into memories – memories which were slowly drifting away. The details of Addison's face had begun to fade in his mind. It was as if this young woman had chased away his demons in just one single night. Derek opened his eyes slowly and glanced beside him. He suddenly stopped to face her and the young woman turned to him, just looking at him. Strands of her hair fell out of place and were animated by a growing breeze. She slowly raised her hand and put it on his cheek. Derek could feel the warmth penetrate his skin and soak through him. She smiled and embraced him, pulling his entire body against her. She laid her head on his shoulder and whispered into his ear. "I don't this night to end." She briefly looked down and then carried her gaze up to look into his eyes. Derek smiled a knowing, warm smile. He embraced her face and pulled it close to his. She felt the smooth kiss come slowly but determinedly. Derek closed his eyes. The thought of _this_ woman lying in his arms, made his throat go dry instantly and brought out a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. When he spoke again, it was rapidly, as if he was trying to say the words as quickly as he could, before she would even have a chance to change her mind. "Can we go somewhere for a cup of coffee?" She nodded and all Derek could think was: to hell with everything! There was no more Addison…no more Marc, all there was…was this gorgeous woman, who had agreed to spent more time with him!

Meredith unlocked the front door of her house and opened it so Derek could enter. Before he could even look around, she was all over him. She was energy, pure energy and with one single kiss, she cooked him from the inside out. Slow and wet, the kiss turned rapidly stronger, pulling him into dark heat and longing for more. Derek's imagination went crazy, thoughts of stripping her down to her skin and making love to her right there in the hallway, swept over him like a wave. He wanted her and need rippled up his body in a hot charge. But Derek wasn't so caught up in her that he didn't realize one thing. She didn't hold back but she didn't surrender to him completely, either. Derek felt it, that she wouldn't surrender completely, that she wouldn't touch him more than her mouth on his and her hand at his waist. She held herself back, and the thought of what it would be like if she _did_ surrender, caused him to moan. He started to close his arms around her, push his hand into her hair.

Meredith's mouth was tender and swollen from his kiss. And from that kiss, she knew she was in trouble. This guy was really into her. She could see it in his eyes but she wasn't ready to give herself completely…s.e.x. yeah but love…no chance! That couldn't happen. She couldn't let that happen, she had a medical career to think about. His tongue swept over her lips, then slid deep inside. He devoured her mouth. There was no other word for it. He kissed her as if he was dying, as if he'd never have another chance. Each touch from him raised her desire and pulled her along at a dizzying speed. Meredith's head started spinning, her blood was rushing, and she sank into the dark, hot pleasure of his mouth. He moulded her body to his length. Full contact. His strong arms closed more tightly around her and while he was going to know she wasn't all layers of clothes, she didn't care anymore. All she wanted was a little bit more. She pushed her fingers into his hair and held on, as his lips and tongue played over hers with exquisite skill. Oh, yes. She wanted to feel him, touch his chest, touch something more than his perfect hair and preferably while being naked.

Meredith opened her eyes and he gave her such an adorable smile that she felt herself sinking. Then his hands lifted her dress, and Meredith experienced a hot rush of need that shot like a bolt right to her centre. Low in her stomach, desire simmered as his hands moved upward under the hem of her dress. She shivered and then knew, she was falling hard for him. And when his hand shifted under her hem, she only wanted him to touch her. Derek felt his insides tighten. He wanted to get inside this woman's head, explore who she was. A little moan escaped her and he swallowed it. She let her hands hover over his thighs, wanting to touch and a hard jolt of desire shot through him. It left him trembling and greedy for her. Oh, God! He whispered, and sank into her mouth. His tongue speared between her lips.

His mouth was everywhere, on her face, her lips, and her throat. And when he dipped lower, Meredith didn't stop him. He zipped open her dress and she let him. A second later his mouth was roaming the swells of her breasts. He left a damp, tingling path behind, and she gasped for air. I want you, he said against her skin, then again on her mouth. I need you! He briefly met her gaze, pushing her hair back then his mouth closed over hers again, tongue sweeping the hollow darkness, and she answered him. Nipping his lips and running her hand down his chest and inside his red shirt. His hand slid down her hip, her thigh, then curled behind her knee and moved upward. He never stopped kissing her, and Meredith's mind went blank to the sensations that swept through her. He squeezed her thigh, and his knee spread her thighs a little wider. Desire rocketed through her, weakening her. And a little sound escaped her. Then he whispered hoarsely, _Let me love you_! His breath was hot near her ear, and his words touched something deep inside her. Do you know what you do to me? He ground against her so that she understood. Meredith's heart shot to her throat as she tangled her fingers in his hair. He hooked the leg of her panties, his fingertips running slowly under the edge, from her behind over her hip, toward her most intimate part. It was more erotic than anything she'd ever experienced.

Derek's heart was pounding so hard it almost hurt. The rushing sound of his blood filled his ears. He was mesmerized by this woman, and the way his heart and mind reacted to her told him, it was good. She was in his arms, willingly and waiting for his touch. It shredded everything that kept him from wanting her. She twisted against him, his hand lying warmly low on her belly, his fingertips beneath the edge of her silk panties. He dipped and brushed over her centre, and her kiss grew stronger. She shifted, straddled his thighs and then he realized, he was trembling a little. He broke the kiss, staring into her amazing green eyes. He slid his finger smoothly over her heat, and her eyes slammed shut. Her moan was low and rough. He carefully parted her, dipping a finger inside. Finding her slick and hot, he groaned. He pushed deeper and she gasped. He stroked his finger in and out and she clawed at his shoulders. I love what you do to me, she whispered. Derek gave, ignoring the hard throb in his groin and pleasured her, watching her soft features, feeling every pulse of her skin beneath his fingertips. She tipped her head back and swallowed rapidly, licking lips swollen from his kiss. Her features were smooth, patient, as the sensations came to her. She rushed nothing, not even this, and caught a rhythm with his touch. It was primal, erotic, and when her hand lowered to the front of his trousers, moulding the shape of him, Derek nearly took her to the floor, he wanted to be inside her so badly, he almost couldn't wait. Instead, he pushed deeper. His own arousal grew painful as he watched her rise to the summit, and when he circled her most sensitive spot, he whispered in her ear. Let me see you. Look at me! Meeting his gaze, she gripped his shoulders, fingers sliding up his neck, then into his hair as he played her body. He plunged and stroked and she met and took, and he saw the flare of her eyes, heard her breath skip once, twice, then lock in her lungs. He smiled softly, as her feminine muscles flexed wildly. He kissed her and she released the trapped breath, trembling in his arms. She whimpered tightly, again and again as her climax took her somewhere he wanted to go too, and he whispered, That's it…oh God, you're beautiful! Derek held Meredith tightly until she sagged against him. She buried her face in the curve of his neck and he couldn't help but smile, she seemed slightly embarrassed.

Meredith didn't think she ever felt more satisfied. Or more pleased. Oh, my, the man could touch, she thought, lifting her head and kissing him softly. Then he lifted her in his arms. She smiled and he kissed her as he laid her on the sofa. He quickly undressed and made her scoot over so he could lie next to her. Skin met skin, his arousal pressed to her softness, and Derek felt his control slipping. His gaze flew to hers. He dragged her between his spread thighs, trapping her, kissing her deeply, trailing his mouth down her throat and bending her back to taste her breasts. Again and again, he nibbled and licked, his hand smoothing down her hip. Naked, he pressed her to him, the contact dashing him with heat and untapped energy. She was like a storm and he was about to feel a strike of lightning. Meredith smoothed the hard contours of his chest, and her mouth followed, her tongue slicking over his flat nipples. His fingers dug into her hips, his groan like a purring tigers. The heat of him pressed to her belly, and she closed her fingers around him. In a flash, he captured her wrist. He met her gaze, his eyes almost black with desire. I'm already coming apart…take it slow! Derek swallowed hard. I want to see you too, she whispered, and her fingertips slid heavily over the silken tip of him and down his shaft. Derek closed his eyes and his breath trembled. She tasted it, sliding her tongue over his lips, then dipping inside. Derek cracked, devouring her mouth and dragging her onto his lap and spreading her thighs around him and breaking her hold. As much as he was enjoying her touch, he couldn't take much more. He needed to be inside her. He leaned forward, pushing her onto her back, her hair spreading out across the pillows. She smiled up at him, lifting her hips, inviting him to come to her. Derek trembled as the tip of him pressed to her softness. She was hot and ready, squirming beneath him. She lifted her hips. Now, please, now! Derek entered her with unforgiving slowness, smiling when she begged for more. He pushed deeply, filling her completely. Braced on his elbows he stared down at her, smoothing her hair back, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "You're so beautiful!"

He withdrew and plunged, her body closing tightly over his, capturing him, stealing more than his desire. Feminine muscles flexed and clawed, and their tempo increased, a pumping madness that fused them with every stroke. A match, a perfect fit. Derek watched her eyes. He'd seen the look when she was near once before and it had stolen his breath away. Meredith thought she'd break apart, her heart was pounding so fast. Wanting him all over her, wanting him to explore and taste and stroke and never stop. She felt the connection to him grow and fuse, her body capturing him in a slick glove and taking him deeper into her. She couldn't get enough of him. It was rapture and agony when he left her fully, then plunged home. They danced in quick rhythm. Eyes locked on each other, tingling heat spiralled through her like a tornado, gaining speed and power. Then it came, the exhilaration only he could give her. The passion she'd waited so long to feel. His arousal throbbed inside her, slick muscle and tender skin quaking with pleasure and sending it streaming through her body. "Oh, God…mmm...I'm…"

"I know, baby, I know," Derek whispered hoarsely, his gaze locked with hers as his climax roared up his spine like an animal cut loose from a cage. He threw his head back, shuddering, his body flexing against hers like a bow strung too tight. She gripped his hips, pulling him harder to her, the pulse and throb thrashing them over and over until they never thought it would stop. It shattered them and tears filled Meredith's eyes, the shocking power of their lovemaking leaving her weak and breathless. He peppered her face and hair with tender kisses before his mouth settled warmly on hers. Derek thought his heart might explode, the power of their fusion stunning him to the core. He'd never made love like this before…not even to Addison. When he caught his breath, he rolled to his back taking her with him, pulling her leg over his hip and keeping her close. She gazed into his soft blue eyes and smiled. "Thank you!" Derek grinned. "No…I have to thank _you"._

_.........._

Meredith's head was pounding, and she wondered briefly how much tequila she'd been drinking before she'd passed out. Opening her eyes slowly, she realized she wasn't lying in her bed but on the sofa in the living room. She shifted from her position and slowly sat up straight, almost immediately noticing the naked guy on her living room floor. She felt her pulse rise and a blush crept up her cheek as she grabbed a blanket to cover herself. Glancing around, she grabbed a pillow and dropped it on his naked but cute butt, only one thought crossing her mind, "Who's this and what have we done?"

Derek moaned and opened his eyes. He turned around to see who'd rudely awoken him. The young woman who he'd met the night before was standing before him and he noticed the shock in her beautiful green eyes. Trying to ease her mind, he reached out his hand and lifted a pair of black panties in the air. "This is…," she completed his sentence: "…humiliating in so many levels…you have to go!" Derek sat up and watched the young woman who he'd passionate made love to; the memory of it, still warming his blood. "Why don't you come back down here and we pick up were we left off?" But the young woman was nothing like the one he'd met last night. She cut him off. "No, seriously, you have to go…I'm late and that isn't what you want to be on your first day of work so…" Derek smiled. He understood why she was so worried. He tried to make her feel more comfortable by starting a conversation. "So…you actually live here?"

"No…yes…kind of!"

Derek grabbed his trousers. "Oh…it's nice…a little dusty. Odd…but it's nice! Why do you kind of live here?"

"I moved two weeks ago…from Boston. It was my mother's house…I'm selling it!"

Derek buttoned his jeans and lifted his head. The poor girl had lost her mother. "Oh…I'm sorry!"

She frowned. "For what?"

Derek looked up strangely. "You said: _was_?"

The young woman waved her hands. "Oh…she'd not dead…she's…You know what…we don't have to do the thing. "

Derek grabbed his shirt. "We can do anything you want!"

She smiled, slightly amused by his persistence. "No… the thing…exchange the details, pretend we care. Look…I'm gonna go upstairs to take a shower…OK and when I get back down here, you won't be here so…uhm…goodbye….uhm?" She studied his face but couldn't by God, remember his name.

Derek almost couldn't hold a grin but he reached out his hand. "_Derek_!"

She took his hand and softly said her name. "Right…_Meredith_."

He repeated it and it sounded like music to his ears. "Meredith!"

Derek hopped over the sofa and held her hand longer than intended. "Nice meeting you!"

She seemed embarrassed and quickly rushed up the stairs. "Bye Derek!" He watched her until she'd disappeared then he grabbed his jacket and opened her front door. He caught himself whistling when he called for a cab. He hadn't felt this good in ages and the best thing was: He knew where she lived!

_**And the rest is history....**_


	2. The Flood Epilogue

The Flood

Derek sighed as he felt warm water cascading down his body, drenching him from head to toe. He let the water run for several minutes, revelling in the nice feeling of warmth. Once he'd soaked himself completely, he turned off the shiny knob of the shower head and reached for his shampoo. He began working it into his hair, roughly kneading his scalp. He moaned in bliss and it left him to revel in a feeling of utter contentedness…gone was the disastrous day at Seattle Grace with its flooded OR's and a ranting Chief. After he was done with his shower, Derek washed away the suds before reaching for one of Meredith's fluffy towels which were hanging on a nearby hook. Rubbing himself dry, he wrapped one towel securely around his waist before opening the glass shower door. He quickly got dressed in a simple, light blue striped shirt, untucked with sleeves rolled up and a pair of jeans. He glanced at his watch and moaned impatiently, Meredith wouldn't be home for at least an hour. Derek glanced longingly at the bed but then decided to go downstairs and wait for her. Standing in the middle of the living room he gazed contentedly around, nodding approvingly; Meredith's house already felt like home. Walking across the room, he knelt down in front of the wooden cabinet and opened one of its glass doors.

Shaking her head, Meredith grabbed her black, wool coat and left the hospital while Doctor Wyatt's words rifled through her mind. Had she been right? Meredith herself had decided she was all whole and healed now…but was she really? Or would she still be in need of therapy and should she tell Derek about it? Meredith bit her bottom lip and pushed down the gas pedal. She couldn't wait to get home. Now alone in her car, she felt trapped in a moving tin with only her thoughts for company…and she surely didn't like what she was thinking! After fifteen minutes or so, Meredith saw the sign of the road upon she lived and she sighed in relief.

When Meredith stepped up the porch, she noticed Izzie. She was sitting on the wooden, rocking bench in front of the house, drinking a glass of scotch and looking a bit sad. "Hey…are you OK? Meredith said while she stepped closer. Slowly like a mechanical toy, Izzie raised her head and glanced at Meredith. "You know…I'm happy for you…I am…I'm really happy for you and Derek and that you guys are moving forward…I'm…!" Izzie paused and stared straight ahead. When she spoke again, Meredith heard the sadness in her voice. "I don't know how it happened that I don't have anyone…" She averted her gaze back at Meredith. "_I don't have anyone_!" Meredith stepped forward and sat down next to Izzie. "It's not true Iz…it's not true!" Izzie let out a soft chuckle but then they heard footsteps on the porch. Alex turned around the corner and glanced at the two women, one of which he knew, he'd hurt deeply…and more than once. Maybe it was time for him to make a fresh start. Alex took in a deep breath and thought of what he'd told his patient that afternoon. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "_Hello_!" He gazed at Izzie and she stared back than Alex turned and walked into the house. Meredith briefly placed her hand on Izzie's arm and then stood to confront Derek. Izzie and Alex were family and he had absolutely no right to kick them out!

Meredith entered the living room, trying hard to hide the anger that now sparked up in her body. It wasn't much successful but at least she tried. Derek was sitting in front of her mother's wooden cabinet. "I've found your mother's vintage martini set," he said while he put the glass shaker back and closed the glass doors.

"_They're my family…you cannot assume I'm gonna kick my family out…and you don't get to announce it to them and ambush me and you definitely don't get to try to get Christina on your side…they're my family…they're who I have…you and them_!" Meredith heard the sharpness in her voice, hating it. Was she driving him away…again? She almost felt the bottom drop out of her stomach but to her surprise Derek nodded. "OK!" He walked past her and sat down on the couch. "OK?" Meredith sounded surprised and uncertain. Was Derek agreeing with her? He tilted his head and looked at her. "I like to talk about it again but…when you're ready! But for now…OK!" Meredith stepped forward and let her coat glide from her shoulders. She smiled timidly and sat down between Derek's knees. "So you still love me?"

"_Meredith_!" Derek slowly shook his head and smiled lovingly. "Yes!" He murmured while he tenderly nuzzled her neck. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and squeezed gently. Meredith giggled and she rolled her eyes heavenward. Doctor Wyatt was wrong. This had been their first fight and everything was fine…she was still happy! She slowly withdrew from Derek's embrace and looked into his blue eyes. She almost melted into a pool of longing and relaxed against his body. "You're so nice and warm," she purred while she snuggled even closer. Derek's hand ran over Meredith's hair and he rested his chin on the top of her head. "I love you so much Mere," he whispered in her ear. Meredith smiled softly. "I love you too," she replied while she pulled Derek's head down for a kiss. "We've come a long way Derek," she whispered dreamily. Derek nodded. "And I want us to keep going…" he whispered, brushing his lips against her cheek…"but slowly," he then added. Meredith was his destination, Derek knew. She always had been…he just had to give her more time. His hands stilled at the small of her back while hers were wrapped around his waist. They broke for a second to breathe and then kissed again…more passionately. "Mere…," Derek breathed hoarsely, his breath ragged. "Let's go upstairs!" He lovingly fondled Meredith's cheek, his gaze dark with passion. Meredith smiled and kissed his cheek lightly. "Yeah, she nodded. "Take me to bed!" As Derek looked into Meredith's green eyes, shimmering with the reflected light of his own desire, he knew it was alright. Pulling Meredith off the couch, Derek caught her as she fell into his arms. His mouth claimed Meredith's and he scooped her into his arms to carry her upstairs to their bedroom. Inside, Derek took her mouth again. Parting her lips with his tongue, he pushed into Meredith's warmth, stealing her breath and making it his own. Her moans fed his hunger and his body hummed with an almost electrical charge. He pulled his head back to look at Meredith and she softly whispered. "I need you Derek."

"Oh yes," he swallowed. "I need you too…so much." Fingers moved to the buttons on his shirt and Meredith had them undone in seconds. Derek pulled Meredith's sweater over her head and cupped a lace-covered breast. His thumb and forefinger circled her nipple again and again, tweaking, teasing, tugging until she writhed beneath him, arching her head back against the mattress and moving into Derek's touch; silently demanding more…and he gave it to her. Gave it to them both. He trailed hot, damp kisses down the length of her neck and across her chest until he was stopped by the lacy barrier of Meredith's bra. His deft fingers flicked the front closure with an expert snap and instantly her breasts were exposed to his gaze. He ran his hand across the smooth, soft flesh and felt her nipple harden against his palm. Then Derek dipped his head and took Meredith's nipple into his mouth, letting his tongue swirl around the sensitive tip. She trembled and Derek scraped his teeth across the hardened bud until Meredith twisted anxiously in his grasp. Then his lips closed around her and he tasted her and with the tasting, he tortured them both until even his own head spun from the dizzying sensations swirling through him.

"Derek," Meredith whispered brokenly and he lifted his head to look into her eyes. "Derek, I need you. I need you inside me. Now…Oh, please, now."

"I need you too," Derek replied, his voice thick with the need strangling him. He released Meredith to strip out of his clothes, tossing the shirt and jeans over his shoulder onto the floor. Meredith moved just as quickly, peeling her bra off, then slipping her hands beneath the waistband of her jeans but when she pulled them off, Derek stopped her. Moving to kneel between her legs, he whispered. "Let me," and Meredith nodded.

Derek's fingers curled beneath the denim fabric and slowly…slowly, he pulled them and her panties down the length of her legs. Every inch of skin he exposed, he kissed, branding her body with the heat of his mouth and with the swipe of his tongue…his sweet tongue. When he felt, Meredith couldn't stand the slow torture any longer, he yanked her jeans off and tossed them aside. His gaze swept over her naked body and everything inside him went hot. His hands ached for her. His body throbbed to become a part of her. Meredith lifted her arms, reaching for him and Derek leaned over her, loving the feel of her hands on his skin. He felt the pressure of each one of her fingers as she smoothed her palms up and down his spine, then up and around to his shoulders and chest. When Meredith flicked her thumbnail across his flat nipple, he shuddered and caught her hand. Twisting his head, he planted a tender kiss in the palm of her hand, and then he released her and eased back, out of her reach. Kneeling between her parted thighs, he let his hands explore her. Two fingers slid into her warmth and delved deep. Meredith lifted her hips in response and she clasped the sheets, as if searching for something to hold on to. She watched him watch her. His gaze dark, his mouth tight and he almost flinched when she moaned his name and rocked against his hand. Again and again, Derek's fingers moved in and out of her body, and she felt how she opened to him, welcomed him. His fingertips worked her sensitive flesh until she trembled in anticipation of his next stroke. The next caress. Her hips rose and fell with the rhythm Derek set. Meredith's heartbeat pounded and thundered in her chest until all she heard was the roaring of her own blood in her ears. Suddenly Derek took his hands from her but before Meredith could protest, he lifted her body and took her with his mouth. His lips closed over her most delicate flesh and his tongue explored her damp heat with long, quick strokes that fed the flames licking at her inner core.

Meredith twisted in his grasp, her head moving from side to side, her gaze locked on him, watching him take her. "_Derek_," she managed to whisper on a half moan. "Oh, Derek, please don't stop."

Derek lifted his head long enough to meet her gaze and he grinned, "Not a chance." Then his fingers curled into the soft flesh of her firm ass, gripping her tightly as he bent to reclaim her. His lips, his tongue, his teeth drove her into a frenzy that quickened her heart even more. Meredith felt her climax coming. From somewhere deep within her body, she felt the tightening, the growing pulsing ache and she fought against it. She wanted this to last forever. But Derek was determined. His tongue swirled over and around her sensitive bud while he slipped two fingers into her depths again and this time, Meredith couldn't hold it off. The first wave hit her so hard that she called his name in a choked-off cry. Her hips bucked in his grasp. She forced herself to keep her eyes open and locked on him as the second wave carried her over the edge of need into the well of completion.

Before Meredith's body had stopped trembling, Derek slowly pushed inside her. She moaned and looked up into his eyes. He braced his hands on either side of her head and delved deeper, thrusting himself so far into her body that she was sure she felt him touch her heart. Her legs locked around his middle, pinning him to her, holding him captive inside her. So familiar, she thought. So … right.

"I want you," Derek whispered hoarsely, locking his gaze with hers. Meredith smiled but a moment later, she closed her eyes in delight as Derek started thrusting inside her. He led her in a dance as old as time…a frantic, pulsing rhythm, demanding to be fed. Meredith clung to Derek's shoulders, tightened her legs around his hips and moving with him, silently giving him all he'd given her. A swirl of sensation coiled within her and she felt the tension in her body mount again. She moved into him, matching him stroke for stroke, kissing him, touching him, chasing that wild, indescribable feeling. Wanting it again and again. Be one with him when the magic took him too. And when at last it came in a crashing blow, it took them both. Derek shouted her name and cradled Meredith tight in his arms when he spilled himself in her.

*** * ***

Derek awoke around six the next morning to find Meredith almost crushed under him. He lifted himself off her at one. "Mmmm…don't. Please…stay!" A sleepy Meredith raised her arms above her head and stretched. Her breasts rubbed against Derek's chest, soft and inviting. "I was squashing you," Derek gently laid his hand on Meredith's rib cage, indulging in the feel of her sleep-warmed skin. Meredith giggled and sighed. "I don't mind…it's nice…you're like a sexy blanket!" Derek's throat turned dry at the sight of Meredith's naked body and the way she smelled in the morning after a night of hot sex. He leaned closer and Meredith let him push her onto her back, more than ready for some morning sex but than there was a soft knock on the door. Derek silently cursed but grabbed a pillow and held it in front of his already growing erection. "_Yes_?"

"Oh," Izzie stood in front of the door and chuckled than she smiled. "Love the outfit!" Derek rolled his eyes and sighed. He silently hoped Meredith soon would be ready to let go of her room mates.

More will come in the next episode…

3


	3. Brave New World Epilogue

Brave New World

V.O. (Meredith).

_We as surgeons are sworn to secrecy. __The __Hippocratic Oath__ is an oath traditionally taken by physicians pertaining to the ethical practice of medicine. Everything a patient tells his or her doctor stays between them but what about mother and child, husband and wife… boyfriend and girlfriend; should they share everything? __A relationship requires trust and confidence, which is what ____should__ exist ____between______a husband and a wife (or a mother and a child, or a boyfriend and a girlfriend). _

Derek walked through the door of Joe's bar and beer fumes almost knocked his boots off. The bar was crowded and apparently there was a party going on. With a quick glance around Derek headed for the bar where Alex and Izzie were sitting. "Ah, just the people I was looking for…Joe, I buy these two a drink!"

"YOU…are the best roommate ever," Izzie smiled and she patted Derek's shoulder in a friendly fashion.

"I am," Derek smirked but then his eyes turned dark with back held anger. "…but just to be clear, If you two ever pull that crap on one of my cases again, I will have you thrown out of the program!" Then, without even waiting for an answer, he turned and looked around the bar. He spotted Meredith who was sitting at a nearby table, sipping from her drink but his foul mood, withheld him from joining her. Clenching his teeth, his jaw muscles tightened on his face as he headed for the exit without looking back.

Meredith put her drink on the table and looked up, only to spot a familiar coat…_Derek's_! He seemed to be in a hurry to leave. Meredith frowned but without any further thoughts, she got up and grabbed her coat. "Hey, you…you cannot leave…it's…my…party!" George's words slurred slightly and he grabbed Meredith's arm. With a smile, Meredith freed herself from George's embrace and lightly kissed his cheek. "I have to go George….but remember, I'm very proud of you!" George dropped his hand, a slow flush burning its way up his cheek. He then nodded and seemed to forget all about Meredith when some of his (former) fellow interns pulled him towards the bar for some body shots. Meredith quickly ran up the stairs and searched for her car keys. By the time she'd found them and reached her Jeep, she saw the tail light's of Derek's car flashing up in the night. Biting her bottom lip, Meredith's eyes swiveled in the direction of Derek's car but he drove off at a lightning speed without noticing her. Meredith sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. Obviously Derek was still extremely pissed off at her because she accused him of reading her mom's diary. Meredith swallowed hard but jumped into her Jeep and turned the key. Her knuckles turned white as she spun the steering wheel and her face tightened. Derek had every right to be angry…he would never read her mom's diary…so much she knew about him! Meredith passed some cars and when she was out of town she hit the gas. She had to explain, he'd been right. When she reached the house, Derek had parked his car around the corner and he was walking toward the front door. He was barely inside when Meredith reached the front door and entered. He slowly turned to her but said nothing, instead he took in a deep breath while she hung up her coat.

"I can always move back to the trailer," he said softly while he faced her, his eyes sad.

"No…I want you here." Meredith hastened to say. "I mean…I may not be always so graceful about it…but I want you here!" She stepped forward and slipped her hands under his jacket to his waist. Derek surprisingly looked down but Meredith wasn't finished. "You need a place for your things…it's not an unreasonable request…you can use this as you den or your office or whatever," Meredith nodded toward her mother's study. Derek tilted his head slightly, a tender smile appearing on his face as he gazed into Meredith's eyes. "It's your mom's den," he said softly.

"But she isn't here…you are!" she replied while she pressed closer to him, inhaling his favorite aftershave, the scent Derek always wore because he knew it was her favorite. She pressed her smooth lips to his and her eyes closed as tingles lanced down her body. Derek's mouth was soft and his lips parted slightly as his tongue flicked playfully across her teeth and into her mouth, boldly caressing her tongue and causing an exquisite sensation. Meredith's heart skipped a beat when he softly whispered. "What about you? You need some place…some place you can get away to!"

Meredith slightly shrugged her shoulders. She couldn't bring herself to tear her gaze away from Derek. "I can always go to Christina's or whatever…"

"I think…I have a better idea," she heard him say while a grin curled around his lips.

"What," Meredith breathed deeply, tilting up her chin and drifting her eyes closed when Derek kissed her again.

"Later," he whispered while he took her hand and pulled her toward the staircase. When they'd reached Meredith's bedroom they held each other for long moments, barely breathing. Meredith felt her heartbeat slow to match the rhythm of Derek's and when they finally parted, Derek smiled and looked into her eyes.

"You know…I'm proud of you!"

Meredith's brow creased quizzically. "Why?" Derek closed his eyes and it was quiet for a moment then she heard him whisper. "This was our first fight…and we've talked about it…really talked. Before you would have kicked my ass to the curb!" Derek opened his eyes and smiled at Meredith, his eyes twinkling with amusement. It was easy to remember that time and Meredith's eyes moistened. A silent tear slid down her cheek as she looked up at him.

"Hey…what's this? Why are you crying?"

"I'm stupid," Meredith whispered, her voice hoarsely. "You would never betray my trust and read my mom's diary. I was stupid for doubting you!" Derek smiled tenderly and cupped Meredith's face in his hands. He kissed her long and deep, running his tongue into her mouth in a sweet caress. When he withdrew, Meredith gazed up at him, aware of the fluttery feeling in her belly. Oh, how much she loved him! Derek glanced at the candles that were sitting on Meredith's nightstand and dresser. He lit a match and watched when small sparks formed at the wicks, lighting them. Meredith's bedroom was now bathed in a dull golden glow and after the both undressed, he pulled her towards the bed. Derek settled down onto the bed and pulled Meredith into his arms. His head was bent protectively over hers, his lips brushing her lavender scented hair. They lay together for long moments, losing themselves in their deep feelings of love for each other.

Derek slowly ran his hand down Meredith's body, lightly tracing her flat stomach, down to her legs and up again. His hand briefly paused at her breasts, gently stroking her soft skin. Just the touch of Derek's hand made Meredith's breathing become deep as her desire and passion awoke. Derek gently traced the contours of Meredith's face with his fingertips, tilting her chin up to look into her green eyes. The expression he saw there, love and tenderness mixed with a throbbing desire, awoke something within him. His growing need overpowered him and he lowered his head to claim Meredith's lips in a passionate kiss. Her arms circled his neck and she drew him even closer, returning the kiss with the desire that raced through her body. Derek's tongue ravaged Meredith's over and over in a dance of passion that made both their heads swirl. Derek moaned softly as Meredith ran her hands over his shoulders and curled her fingers in his hair. Derek softly started massaging Meredith's breasts, making her whimper at how wonderful it felt.

Meredith dragged her lips from Derek's to place a trail of kissed down his throat and jaw. Derek closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her. Meredith ran her tongue across his chest, stopping to suckle his . She gently nipped at them, making Derek moan with pleasure. He could feel himself growing harder, his manhood throbbing at the feel of Meredith's body. His body moved slowly on top of her and when his hardness came in touch with her soft mound, the tip brushing her opening, Meredith gasped and her eyes flew to Derek's face, which was tense with desire. Derek was breathing heavily, his body trembling demanding one stroke that would make him one with Meredith but instead his head dipped down to her chest, kissing and suckling her breasts, ignoring the cries of his body. The intoxicating sensation of Derek's hot mouth over her body made Meredith moan softly, slowly losing herself with the movements of his body. She entwined her fingers in his hair to guide his face to hers so she could kiss him again, as softly and tenderly as she could. When they parted, Derek's eyes had an intense expression in them that made her shiver. She gazed lovingly into his face, meeting his eyes with a look of utter love and trust. Slowly Meredith nodded at him. Leaning down to kiss her, Derek positioned himself above Meredith, placing his hands on either side of her head to steady himself. He felt how Meredith's legs opened wider for him, her soft hands wrapping around his waist. Derek brought his throbbing manhood to her entrance and with a soft moan, the slowly thrust into her, sliding his whole length in with one stroke. Meredith wrapped her arms around Derek and gasped for air. For one moment, he paused but then he began to move his hips against hers, slowly, moving his hardness in and out of her. A small moan escaped Meredith's lips and she opened her legs even wider to let Derek move deeper within her. Derek groaned at how she felt around him and began to add more strength to his strokes. Meredith met his movements eagerly, wrapping her legs around him to bring him even closer to her. Without slowing the rhythm of his strokes, Derek leaned down and kissed Meredith, squeezing her hands in his. She returned his kisses with urgency, releasing his hands so she could touch his face. Derek moved a hand down to caress her , then moved further down to caress her thigh wrapped around his waist. Meredith moaned into his mouth, lost in a whirlwind of intense pleasure. She ran her hands down Derek's strong back, trying to get as close to him as she could. with Derek had always been good but now…God this was incredible! She never wanted it to end but she felt the pressure building and she didn't know how much longer she could hold on.

Her soft moans echoed in Derek's ears and he could feel himself approaching release. He feverishly thrust in and out of Meredith, his moans growing with her own breathless voice. He grabbed Meredith's hands and pinned them above her head, squeezing them lightly. Meredith gazed into Derek's eyes and time seemed to stand still. Then her whole body began to tremble and bolts of lightning roared through every inch of her sweaty body as orgasm struck her hard and with no mercy. She cried out Derek's name as she arched against him, thrashing uncontrollably in the throes of passion. Derek couldn't hold on anymore and he let out a groan as he felt himself lose control. He could feel a rush of fire rolling through him and into her as his release took over his body, sending him into his own fit of trembling. Meredith rocked her hips against Derek's as hard as she could, throwing her head back, her hands squeezing his. Finally, her body couldn't take anymore and she feel back onto the bed, exhausted. Derek gently collapsed on top of Meredith, struggling to catch his breath. He moved slightly off her onto the bed, still one with her. He wrapped his arms around Meredith's trembling body. Meredith turned her face to Derek's. Gazing at him through half-opened eyes, she whispered. "I love you Derek Shepherd!" Derek leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead, tightening his arms around her. He didn't need to answer, she could feel his heart reaching out to hers, whispering the same. Their breathing slowed and Meredith could feel herself drifting away, unable to stay awake any longer. Derek smiled as he watched her sleep, her head resting against his shoulder. He gently ran his fingers down her face.

"You live in my heart Meredith…forever!" Derek whispered softly while he pulled the blankets over them.

Meredith awoke with golden sunshine streaming across her face. Sighing, she turned over to look at Derek, finding only an empty space but on his pillow was a note with a key. She took the note and read:

I started work early, see you later at the hospital! This key is to my trailer. I'm giving it to you so you have your own place if you need space.

Love you,

Derek xxx

Suddenly the phone in Meredith's bag rang and she hurried to answer her cell.

"Hello?"

"Morning, sleepyhead," a familiar voice rang into Meredith's ear. It was Christina. "Hi, Chris. How are you?"

"Aw, you know me. Started early…to catch the best surgeries. Hey…I ran into your boyfriend. What did you do to him? He had the biggest smile on his face ever."

Meredith paused and grinned. She ignored Christina's question and took in a deep breath. "Christina…would you like to meet me after work? I want to read my mom's diary but I need you!"

On the other end, Christina nodded. "Sure…my place or yours?" Meredith smiled at the eagerness in Christina's voice. "Neither…I have my own place to get away to. I'll tell you later…see you!" Meredith ended the call and she could see Christina's face frowning at her words and she giggled. Meredith placed the cell back in her bag and turned to look at her bed. She felt a slow smile spreading across her face as she thought back of the night before. She had the greatest person in the world in Christina but her love belong to Derek. And they both would always stay in her heart, no matter what. Nodding at that thought, Meredith turned and made her way to the bathroom to get ready for another day at Seattle Grace Hospital.

4


	4. There's No I In Team

**There's No "1" in team Epilogue**

"_Ah…doctor Bailey! I heard your big surgery went well today…congratulations_!" Derek Shepherd stepped out of the elevator and headed towards the senior resident. Despite their previous confrontations (mostly regarding Meredith), Bailey had always been one of his most favourite colleagues at the hospital. She turned to him and slightly nodded. "Same to you. Must feel good to see your name in print like that!" Derek averted his gaze and nodded. "It would feel better if Meredith wouldn't feel so…you know…she was acting silly about the credit…she's getting emotional!"

"That girl worked her ass off for _you_ and you got **all** the credit!" Bailey slightly raised her voice at Derek's comments.

"I would have gotten all the blame had we failed," Derek tried to defend his actions but Bailey interrupted him without even taking a breath…"But you didn't fail!"

"It's simple…I'm an attending…she's a second year resident!"

"Who you're now living with! It's not simple…it's messy!" Bailey turned to walk away, clearly annoyed by Derek's stubbornness. "If it were me…I would start with thank you. You'd be surprised how far that would go…especially with _us silly, emotional women_!" A small smile curled her lips while she slowly walked towards the exit. She surely gave _**him**_ something to think about. Derek's jaw tightened and he raised his brow while he watched Bailey walk away then he slowly shook his head and a small smile started to creep up his face. He felt how his heart slowly relaxed and the cloud of concern that had tormented his mind during the day cleared like snow in the sun. Bailey had been right as so many times before. He couldn't have done it without Meredith! Derek turned around and headed back to the elevator. As he entered the elevator, he turned and pushed the basement button.

The morgue was bathed in bright lights as Derek entered and the pathologist was examining a corpse. He seemed totally absorbed in what he was doing and Derek let him take his time. Finally, he looked up and averted his gaze from the corpse to Derek. "How can I help you doctor Shepherd?" Derek smiled his friendliest smile and stepped closer to the examining table. "I need a favour from you Reese. Can you help me?"

..........

"So, Derek said I was a baby and…".

"_What_?" Cristina was toying with some plastic strings but she frowned at Meredith's words who continued without hesitating…"that I had a lot to learn!"

"Ah…whatever," Cristina replied but Meredith waved her hands. "Ah…not whatever. He's right. I did drop a kidney…and don't say it happens because it doesn't…but I _do_ hate it when he's right!"

Cristina looked sideways to Meredith. "He's not right. Stop caring so much about what he thinks…you seem desperate!"

"OK…to the one trolling for interns," Meredith smiled at Cristina's words.

"Yeah…I changed my mind…interns are weak…I don't want weak," Cristina took a sip from her drink and then without thinking, she blurted out. "Burke was a man!" Meredith looked at Cristina, not believing what she heard. Cristina had refused to talk about Preston…until now? Cristina nodded and softly continued. "He was a man!" She took another sip from her drink and seemed to be lost in thoughts. Meredith averted her gaze to the bartender. "Joe? I think…ah…we need another round!" The doorbell dinged and Joe looked over Meredith's shoulder at the visitor that arrived. Joe nodded friendly and before Meredith could turn, Derek dropped a gift bag between her and Cristina. "_Excuse me_! Cristina slightly annoyed at Derek's entrance, rolled her eyes but nobody seemed to notice.

"How…is this for me?" Meredith stammered while Derek stepped to Meredith's left side. "YES!" Derek firmly stated while he looked upon Meredith.

"Hey honey…I bought you roses…let me back in the house," Christina muttered sarcastically. Derek chuckled but watched in anticipation while Meredith reached into the colourful gift bag. She pulled out a glass jar with a kidney inside. "Owww," Meredith breathed simultaneously with Cristina, clearly impressed by the kidney.

"Holy crap…what the hell is that thing," Joe averted his gaze in horror.

"Oh…that's a kidney in a jar…how did you get that?" Cristina snapped at Derek. "Being an incredible important fancy Neuro surgeon has its perks!" he stated with a smile while he watched Meredith's sparkling eyes. "Thank you," she smiled. Cristina took over the jar and examined the kidney while Derek leaned closer to Meredith. "I couldn't have done it without you…not one surgery…not one patient. I couldn't have done anything without you. _Thanks_," he whispered softly while he leaned closer and pressed his lips upon Meredith's.

"Are you guys going to get that thing out of here before I freak out," Joe said while he squinted his eyes at the sight of the bloody kidney.

"OK," Derek and Meredith almost said at the same time.

"Uhm…are you going to be OK?" Meredith sighed while she glanced at Cristina. "Yeah…go ahead," Cristina smiled but her face saddened when Meredith turned around to leave. "Goodnight Joe," Meredith smiled while she took the gift bag. Derek grabbed her hand and almost pulled her towards the exit.

"Hey…what's the big hurry," Meredith breathed while they stepped into the cold night air. Without saying a word, Derek pulled Meredith close to him. Cupping her face with his hands he leaned forward, taking her lower lip in between his in a tender kiss. Perhaps it was the cool night air, perhaps it was primal nature itself but suddenly there seemed to be a slight urgency to feel each other's warmth. As Derek slowly pulled away from the kiss and looked deep into Meredith's eyes, she felt his hunger and it set her on fire too. Walking with arms wrapped around each other, feet in perfect rhythm, they strolled to Meredith's Jeep. "Do you want me to drive," Derek finally said, breaking the silence between them. Meredith nodded and fished in her bag for the keys. When she handed them to him, she gave him a smouldering look that told him their night was far from over. They hesitantly separated when they reached the Jeep. Derek started the motor and pulled out onto the road. For some minutes they drove in silence then Derek reached out, put his hand on Meredith's knee and looked at her for a moment. "Not mad anymore," he said softly while his hand softly squeezed her knee. "I wasn't mad…I…I was disappointed," she assured him while placing her hand on his. "But you're right…I am still a baby…I dropped a kidney today. I'm….ah!" She shook her head and sighed. She sounded desperate and Derek reached out and touched her cheek tenderly. "You're not stupid," he said softly. "You still have a lot to learn but someday…you're going to be an excellent surgeon. We've all made mistakes Meredith. Every great doctor has made his or her share of mistakes!" Meredith smiled softly as Derek brushed his thumb back and forth over her cheek.

When they arrived at the house, Derek took Meredith's hand and together they walked up the porch. Meredith unlocked the front door and Derek hung up their coats while Meredith carried the jar up to her bedroom. She placed the jar on the nightstand when Derek entered. He stepped closer to Meredith and ran his hand down her arm as he rested his forehead against hers. Closing her eyes, Meredith softly kissed his cheek. "I want to make love to you," Derek told her softly.

"You don't have to ask," Meredith whispered while she closed her eyes. Shifting forward, Derek placed a soft kiss on her lips. After a few seconds, she slowly deepened the kiss, threading her fingers through his hair. A soft moan escaped Derek as they kissed, tenderly at first but then with more passion. Meredith slid her free hand down to rest against his chest, undoing the top button of his shirt. Derek rubbed his hand gently up and down Meredith's back as they kissed. Pulling away from her lips, he kissed his way down her cheek then down to her neck where he began to nibble gently. Meredith moaned softly and tilted her head back to give him better access. Derek caressed her skin with his tongue and lips before scraping his teeth over the sensitive area. Impatiently, Meredith began to undo the rest of buttons on Derek's shirt, her fingers fumbling.

"Relax Mere," Derek whispered reaching for Meredith's hands. "We'll go slow." But Meredith shook her head slightly. "Not slow," she breathed, nibbling on Derek's neck. "No?" he grinned while he slid his hand underneath Meredith's shirt, gently caressing her soft, bare skin. A soft moan escaped Meredith and she lowered her lips to his collar bone. Derek's eyes closed and he shivered as Meredith scraped her teeth over his skin. "God, Mere." She kissed a path down to his chest, pausing to look up at Derek. He slid his fingers through her hair for a moment before reaching down and tugging on her gray t-shirt. "I need…I want skin…Give me skin," he said hoarsely.

"Yeah, Meredith breathed. She searched down and pulled her shirt up and over her head. Derek stared for a second but then pulled her to him. He started kissing Meredith, their tongues illustrating their hunger for each other. Meredith pushed Derek down on the bed and straddled him, caring little about her nakedness, only happily revelling in their closeness. "I want you naked too, " she said softly. Derek practically ripped off his shirt. He tried to get of his jeans and boxers, while at the same time kissing Meredith but she was straddling him, her knees on the outside of his thighs.

"I…I can't…get…them…off," he breathed between kisses. But before Meredith could reluctantly get off him, he grabbed her waist and moaned. "No…don't get off…just…lift!" Meredith giggled but she cooperated. Derek laid backwards on the bed and Meredith leaned forward on her hands. Derek's hands moved to his boxers. They kissed hungrily while he squirmed out of his shorts. When he lifted his bottom to slid his boxers down, his manhood grazed her and they both moaned. When they were both naked, they were panting as if they had just run a race. Meredith reached between their bodies and held him. Her eyes opened and she gazed at Derek while she lovingly stroked him. "Take me for a ride Derek," Meredith whispered softly against Derek's lips.

"I'd love to," Derek moaned as he lowered Meredith to the bed. He kissed her face gently as he fitted his body against Meredith's. He lovingly feathered kisses over her brow, her long lashed eyes and her lips. Meredith stroked Derek's back up and down with her fingertips. Derek braced himself with his arms as he placed himself at her entrance. Gently he guided himself slowly into her. Meredith moaned but Derek caught her moan in his mouth. He looked down into Meredith's passion-glazed eyes and a wave of tenderness swept over him. "love you," he whispered softly before he started thrusting into her. He moved slowly, pressing hot open-mouthed kisses along Meredith's shoulder and up the side of her neck. When he reached her earlobe, he nibbled the tender flesh gently before whispering in her ear. "I need you so much Mere!"

Meredith slid her hands up his sides and over his back until they rested on Derek's shoulder blades. Turning her head slightly, she nipped the side of his neck with her lips.

"More…," Derek whispered urgently.

Meredith tightened her inner muscles causing Derek to moan into her ear.

"Yes," he breathed.

"Meredith closed her eyes as Derek slammed his hips against her. She felt a low rumble in his chest before she heard his groan. Derek quickened his thrusts as Meredith grabbed his firm ass. Her nails raked down his lower back as she felt her orgasm building quickly. She met each of Derek's thrusts with perfect rhythm, arching her hips to meet each plunge. She moaned his name, her inner muscles convulsing around him. Derek continued thrusting throughout Meredith's orgasm, sliding one hand to her hip to adjust the angle of his penetration. He tenderly looked down at her flushed face, grinning as her eyes met his. "I love you Mere."

"Derek…" Meredith moaned as Derek's hand moved from her hip, his fingers sliding along her skin until they pressed against her sensitive spot.

"I'm so close Mere…take me with you!"

Meredith moaned out his name again as the gentle pressure of Derek's fingers pushed her over the edge once again. As she writhed under him, Meredith's name left Derek's lips on a load groan and he flooded her walls with hot spurts. Derek's thrusts gradually slowed until he collapsed beside Meredith, breathing heavily. Meredith rolled to her side, only to be held tightly against Derek's chest. She trembled in his arms as he pressed a warm kiss to her lips.

"You OK?" he whispered softly.

She nodded and smiled softly, lifting her hand and placing it over his heart. "I love you Derek."

Derek leaned into her and pressed a tender kiss to Meredith's lips. "I love you too honey." With a smile, Meredith turned to her side and switched off the night lamp, her eyes catching the kidney in the jar. "It glows!" she giggled.

Derek propped up on one elbow and grinned. "Yeah!"

"When my mother was a resident, she wasn't dropping kidneys." Meredith sighed.

Derek slightly frowned. "Are you reading your mom's diary," he said softly.

"Hmmm," Meredith moaned softly. "I'm not half the surgeon my mother was." she mumbled a bit sadly. Derek leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss to Meredith's bare shoulder blade while he softly stroked her hair. _Why was Meredith always so hard on herself_? Derek closed his eyes and scooted as close to Meredith as he could to absorb her warmth. He couldn't help loving the feeling of holding her like this. He wished he could hold her all the time but he knew she wanted to be strong and independent too. Derek sighed. All he ever wanted and wished for was now right in his arms. She fitted to him perfectly. "Good night Mere. Sleep well," he whispered as he kissed the top of her head again. Soon, he felt her breathing become deep and regulated with sleep. Within minutes, he too closed his eyes and slept with Meredith's warm body resting closely against his.

_To be continued in the next episode…_


	5. In The Midnight Hour Epilogue

**In The Midnight Hour Epilogue**

Meredith walked back to the resident's locker room and wearily opened her locker. Her mind was replaying everything that had happened during the day and for a moment, she closed her eyes. She really hadn't known what the interns were up to! _Should she have defended Cristina to the Chief_? Meredith sighed and opened her eyes. She rummaged through her stuff before finally changing into her clothes. When she was done, she grabbed her bag and was out the door in half a minute. As she walked to her car, she sighed audibly; would Cristina ever talk to her again? Meredith bit her bottom lip but finally stopped drooling and got into her car.

*** * ***

Meredith walked into the house and headed right into the kitchen. To her surprise Lexie was sitting there, drinking from Meredith's mug. Meredith frowned but headed straight into the living room where Derek was making up a couch. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hi," Derek replied with a tender smile.

"Lexie's here?" Meredith said softly but it wasn't really a question…it was more of a statement.

"Yeah!" Derek replied.

"You're making up a bed for her?" Meredith continued while she was touched by Derek's care for her sister.

"Yeah," Derek stated while he placed a pillowcase over the pillow.

"_**You**_ brought home a stray!" Meredith smiled while she glanced over her shoulder at Lexie. Derek grinned and continued making up Lexie's bed while Meredith hung up her jacket. Then she walked back into the kitchen at sat down opposite Lexie. "Hey, " she said friendly.

Lexie had buried her face in her hands. The anguish of the day had taken its toll. Her chest was tight, her breathing almost painful and her head thumped. At the sound of Meredith's friendly voice, she looked up startled. "Hi," she said softly, consciously avoiding Meredith's eyes. "Derek asked me to come over but if you don't approve, I…". Meredith moved her hand over Lexie's. "It's OK Lex…I'm OK with you staying here!" Meredith saw a hesitant smile beginning to form on Lexie's face, a slow look of relief spreading across her troubled features as she looked up. "I'm so sorry Meredith," she whispered. "I thought we could do it…we would be in and out in an hour but when I saw Sadie's appendix was enflamed, my whole world started crumbling around me and I just didn't know how to stop it. Oh…what have I done?" Meredith sighed and looked at Lexie. "_Why_ did you do it in the first place?" Lexie looked up into Meredith's eyes. "Actually…it was because of something _you_ said," she hesitated.

"_Me_?" Meredith breathed while her eyes grew wide.

Lexie nodded. "Sadie said you've called me a priss and I wanted to prove I was a badass too so I suggested the appy!"

Meredith moaned. "I…I didn't mean to call you…Sadie asked if you were the right person to be her new best friend and I said…well I said she could better stick to someone else."

"_Why_?" Lexie breathed offended.

Meredith moaned again but now louder. "That is not how I meant it…I wanted to protect you. Sadie is…well Sadie is…different, not you're type. You're better off with someone like…_George_!" Meredith said in an attempt to soothe Lexie.

Lexie shook her head vigorously. "I don't want George as my bff…he's an ass!"

"Oh," Meredith said softly. "I'm sorry…I…."

"It's OK," Lexie interrupted her sister. "I know what you mean."

"_You do_?" Meredith asked while she studied Lexie's face. Lexie smiled and ducked her head like a little girl then Meredith heard her softly say. "I know you care!"

"I do," Meredith said softly. "I really do!" A tear built in her eye but she quickly wiped it away before Lexie noticed. "Well…I'm off to bed. If you need anything…just call me OK?" Lexie looked up and smiled. "OK," she said softly "And Meredith…Thanks!". Meredith nodded while Lexie stood up and walked into the living room. Meredith watched her sister and slowly shook head then she turned and went upstairs.

When Meredith entered the bedroom, the lights were already out. She glanced over at the bed and could see the contours of Derek's body beneath the blanket. The slow rhythm of his breathing was unbroken and not a muscle of his body stirred; apparently he was already sound asleep. Meredith tiptoed over to the window and glanced outside. Rain fell slowly and the trees near the house were now mere silhouettes in the deepening darkness. Meredith sighed and shook her head. God, had _this_ turned into a crappy day; tension with the chief because of the intern's stupid actions, one of her best friends almost died and worst of all a huge fight with Cristina! Maybe she could unwind, taking a bath, Meredith thought and she quietly headed into the bathroom, where she lit some candles around the tub. Then she dimmed the lights and slowly undressed. Stepping into the tub, she sank into the fragrant steam, feeling her muscles relax and loosen. Meredith closed her eyes and began to remember the day she'd first met Cristina…they'd liked each other immediately. Meredith smiled but then began to cry softly. Cris had been her best friend ever since she'd lost contact with Die. And Sadie…what the hell was wrong with her. She almost got herself killed. Unable to focus anymore, her mind a combination of hurt and anguish, Meredith gave into her feelings and allowed them to envelop her. She shuddered and let out a chocked cry, letting her tears run freely. She cried for all the things that had happened during the start of her medical career at SGH…all the years she and Cristina had spent together…she cried for all their laughs…cried for all the moments they'd shared and for all the memories that now filled her mind. Meredith's mind was so completely lost to the world around her she didn't notice Derek who'd woken up by her sobs.

"_Meredith_?"

"Derek…I..," Meredith closed her eyes for a moment and tried to control her sudden affliction. She didn't want Derek to see her this way…so hurt…so devastated.

"_Mere…what is it_?" Derek tenderly brushed away a few stray hairs that clung to Meredith's wet face. She tried to smile at him through her tears. "I..I'm fine," she said. "It's…nothing, just…a bad day…at work." Meredith felt a wave of hurt engulf her body, making her shudder and whimper against her will. She cried out unwillingly and swallowed hard, eyes tightly shut, her face a picture of hurt. Thoughts were running through Derek's mind. He had never seen her like this…so distraught.

"Mere…please…talk to me," he said softly after a short pause. Meredith's eyes fluttered open and tears began to form once again on the corners of her eyes. "I…I'm sorry…Derek, it's just…," she whispered, closing her eyes and opening them again, tears falling against her will. "I want…I want you to know…but…I don't know if…I can," she whimpered. Meredith's despair returned once more, this time with full force. Her whole body began to tremble making her cry out. Without hesitation, Derek leaned over and lifted Meredith from the tub. He wrapped a large towel around her trembling body, dried her off quickly and carried her back to the bedroom. He placed her on the bed and cradled her possessively. "I've loved _**you**_ from the moment I laid eyes on you," Derek paused as if he was trying to find the right words. He looked deep into Meredith's eyes…those deep green pools of emotion burning almost right through him. "When I choose Addison…I dreamt every night about _**you**_. I could hear your voice and see your smile. I was so afraid of my feelings so I pushed you away. And now, everything is so clear to me. The two of us? We are together and you're everything to me. Please Meredith…share your pain with me. You can really tell me everything!"

Meredith's heart beat faster and for a brief moment, as she heard Derek's words, tears formed once more. "It's Cristina," she whispered. "We've…had a…fight…and Sadie…well I just don't know what's going on with her…it's almost seems as if she wants to die," Meredith's voice cracked while she poured out her heart to Derek. She told him everything…her doubts, her feelings, how the stories in her mom's diaries had affected her, her strange friendship with Sadie and while she talked, Derek held her close to him, cradling her body against his and listening. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and kissed her softly between sentences. "Everything will be OK," Derek whispered gently into her ear as she was finished. He pulled her to his chest and rubbed his hand up and down her back. After a while he pulled back and cupped her face in his palms. He wiped her tears with his thumbs and tenderly kissed her forehead. "I'll take care of you!" He looked right into Meredith's eyes and she shyly smiled. Meredith's eyes were bright red and swollen but for the first time since a long time, she'd never felt better…more at ease. That night Meredith slept in peace, next to the man that needed her, who she was sure would always love her…and she loved him!

It was bright and early as Meredith woke up the next morning. She closed her eyes, stretched out her arms and felt her hand smack into something not normally associated with her morning routine. She glanced aside and noticed the daisy that was lying on Derek's pillow together with a small note that read:

_M._

_Didn't want to wake you, started early. See you at the hospital. Love D._

_P.S. Don't worry too much, everything will be fine!_

Meredith sat up and smiled while she held the note to her chest than she struggled to detangle herself from the sheets and blankets that had wrapped around her during the night. Smoothing back her hair from her face, Meredith looked in the mirror at her dressing table and studied the effects of the night before. She frowned and got out off bed with a sigh. As she held a cold, damp cloth to her puffy eyes, she heard a rustling noise down in the kitchen. Curious, Meredith went downstairs only to find Izzy amicably chatting with somebody. Meredith frowned and looked around but the kitchen was empty.

"Iz…Izzie?" Meredith said softly but Izzie smiled and mumbled something without really noticing Meredith. Meredith glanced around but Alex was nowhere in sight. Meredith gently grasped Izzie's arm and led her back to the bedroom. She laid her back in bed and Izzie almost immediately closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep. Meredith turned around and was about to leave the bedroom when she heard a soft whisper. "I love you too Denny!"

Meredith turned around and gazed at Izzie with large, imploring eyes. Who did Izzie refer to? _Denny… Denny Duquette_? Meredith bit her bottom lip but quietly closed the door as she crossed the hallway to her own bedroom, thinking she had to talk to Alex about Iz. Meredith dressed quickly and nodded approvingly as she threw a quick glance in the mirror. At least her eyes weren't puffy anymore although there was still some sadness in them. She grabbed her bag and car keys and headed for the door.

Before Meredith entered the locker room, her heart was pounding fast. Would Cristina be waiting for her? But to Meredith's relief the locker room was empty. She slowly undressed, balling her clothes up in a corner and retrieving her scrubs. She changed and tied her scrub pants before pulling her hair back in a pony tail.

_More in the next episode..._


	6. Wish You Were Here Epilogue

**Wish You Were Here Epilogue**

Meredith's eyes were burning with tears but she blinked them back and continued staring straight ahead into the fireplace. If she'd learned anything from her friendship with Cristina, it was that this wasn't the right time to patch things up…they both were still too angry! She sighed but looked up as she heard the front door open. A slight smile appeared upon Meredith's lips as Derek entered the living room. He kept his gaze on her as he crossed the room and let his coat fall onto a chair. He sat next to her, one arm resting on the back of the couch. His face turned serious and then she heard his soft but firm voice. "Two guys…shot my dad…for his watch!" Derek paused a little between words, feeling a weight of pain and memories on them. "My mom saved up for it!…Two guys came into a store…and they shot him! Because he wouldn't give it up…it's how my dad died!" Derek sighed inaudibly, lowering his lashes. Meredith swallowed but Derek continued. "We're supposed to treat everybody the same…but they're not all the same!" He slowly shook his head and then lowered his head so Meredith wouldn't see the moisture forming in his eyes but when he heard her voice, he looked up, "I'm sorry…it's just a bad day all around…I guess!" Derek nodded, knowing how difficult today had been for Meredith too…he knew, the fight with Cristina grieved her more than she would ever admit. "I wish I could make things better with you and Cristina," he tried carefully.

"I wish you could too," she said softly but she couldn't hide the flicker of pain that crossed her face.

"I tried to think what she would do…since you wishing like this but…I don't know?" Derek smiled apologizing, placing his hand upon hers. Meredith looked up, smiling, touched by Derek's tender gesture. "Well she would…ah…turn the music up pretty loud and she would dance it out with me but I don't think you wanna go there!" To Meredith's surprise, Derek grimaced and got up from the couch, leaning over to brush a gentle kiss on Meredith's cheek. Then he turned and walked over to the CD player. "Well…let's see what we've got here?" He pushed the play button on the CD-player and the cheerful song of Tandy's "Home" sounded through the living room. "Whoo…yeah," Derek yelled while the started moving to the rhythm of the music. Meredith chuckled and watched Derek in amazement while he took off his jacket and started dancing. "Look out…hey…come on…get up!" Derek tore his shirt from his pants and Meredith started giggling. "Get your a.s.s. over here…I'm not doing this by myself," he chuckled. Meredith shielded her eyes with one hand at Derek's silliness but his enthusiasm was catching so she got up from the couch. Finding the beat of the music, she slowly began swaying her body. "There you go," Derek grinned satisfyingly. Watching Derek's eyes, Meredith smiled as he studied her face. With the music still playing in the background, Derek brought his hands around Meredith's waist and then up to her face, to kiss her. Then he swiftly turned and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his front close to her back, slowly swaying to the music. He gently nuzzled Meredith's neck and planted a kiss there. "How about another quickie?" he whispered softly while the music softly faded away.

"No quicky," Meredith whispered back. "This time…I want it to last…"

"I guess, we can arrange that!" Derek smiled, cuddling Meredith even closer and planting a kiss on her hair. He turned her around and lowered his head for a kiss, watching her lashes flutter closed. "I loved dancing with you!" he whispered, just before his mouth touched Meredith's. Derek's fingers tightened in her hair as he tipped her chin up and angled her head to the side for better access. Meredith sighed, relaxed and followed Derek's lead. "I liked dancing with you too," she murmured. Derek increased the pressure of his mouth until Meredith's lips parted for him on their own accord, inviting him inside. As much as he ached to delve deeper, Derek kept his feelings in control, taking one step at a time, so he nibbled, suckled and flirted, leisurely exploring Meredith's mouth as if it was for the very first time. _Mere wanted it slow…she would get slow_!

A frustrated moan rolled up in Meredith's throat, and she scooted closer, placing soft fingers against Derek's cheek. Her soft touch made Derek burn all the way down to the growing erection straining against the fly of his jeans. Giving her a little of what she wanted, he brushed his tongue across her bottom lip. When she repeated the gesture to him, undeniable need ripped through him.

"God…I love you," he whispered, barely unable to hold back his restraint. His lips covered Meredith's in a kiss that was as passionate as it was possessive. Meredith clung to him, greedily returning the kiss and drawing his tongue into her mouth. Derek kissed her, over and over. Long, deep, breathless kisses. Minutes passed, or even an hour. Time lost meaning as love and tenderness consumed them. Derek did things with his mouth and tongue that made Meredith melt. She imagined his expert tongue stroking and tasting other places, just as soft, just as thorough. Licking along her breasts and across her nipples, gliding down her belly, slipping up the tender insides of her thighs…

The air in the living room suddenly seemed as feverish as hot steam. Meredith's skin grew damp and her breathing ragged against Derek's ravishing mouth. Hunger for him tingled within her. Building. Throbbing. Suddenly she reached forward, finding Derek's belt loops, she gripped them with her fingers and pulled his hips to hers. He moaned deep in his throat, his mouth on hers in deep, drugging kisses. She felt his hard length nudging against her but his body remained still and in control. Her hands roamed around his sides to his back, then lower, desperate to get closer still. Meredith clenched his firm buttocks with her fingers, rocked into him again and imagined Derek making love to her…

"Mere…let's go upstairs," Derek finally whispered. "I have to touch you!" Meredith smiled and nodded. Derek scooped her up in his arms and carried her upstairs to the bedroom. When he closed the door behind them, he put her down and pressed her back against the door. Meredith's breath caught in her throat as Derek – without any warning – slipped his hand in her jeans and softly caressed her there. One long finger slowly pushed into her, then two, and her body clung to him greedily. His thumb swept over her sensitive spot, and her knees went weak instantly. Meredith's blood roared through her veins and her entire body trembled as Derek found just the right spot and tempo. He wove a magic spell she was helpless to resist. Her eyes closed in ecstasy and her lips parted when she moaned long and low during an incredible orgasm.

Gently, Derek brushed damp strands of hair away from Meredith's cheek. He ran his finger down the slope of her nose and softly kissed her. "This is just the start," he whispered hoarsely. Stroking her flattened hands up his spine, she pressed her body against his and rubbed her breasts against his chest. "Let's see what you have in store for me, doctor Shepherd?" Derek smiled and closed his mouth closed over Meredith's, pulling her into a tongue-tangling kiss. She pressed her palm to his cheek and the sweet gesture was so tender and gentle, it made Derek's heart turn over in his chest. Unable to resist her any longer, he placed his hands on the sides of her legs and slowly, gradually, skimmed his palms upward. He captured Meredith's gaze with his, holding her hostage with a heated stare as his he hooked his thumbs in her pants and began the thrilling process of dragging it down her thighs. On her turn, Meredith began unbuttoning Derek's shirt, her cool fingers trailing along the warm skin she gradually revealed. She proceeded while enticing him with a tender kiss while finishing her task of unbuttoning his shirt, all the way down to the waistband of his pants. She spread the sides open and pushed it off his broad shoulders then she splayed her hands on his chest, and skimmed her fingers down his lean torso to his belly. Every muscle in Derek's body flexed in response to Meredith's exploration. She lifted her eyes up to his, her irises dark and needy and oh-so-sexy. "Take me for the ride of my life," she whispered on a ragged breath. Derek's blood pumped through his veins. Grasping the straps holding up her gray top, he slowly pulled them down her arms, until the stretchy fabric gave way and her, firm breasts swayed free. Meredith moaned softly as the cool air caressed her exposed skin. Running his hands up her naked back, Derek hugged her close, crushing her breasts against his chest, feeling the fire of that ultimate contact and the rapid beating of both their hearts. Meredith sought his mouth, and Derek kissed her, deep and soulful. Then suddenly feeling very greedy, Meredith was busy unbuckling his thin leather belt, undoing the button on his jeans, carefully but eagerly unzipping the fly. Without hesitation, she tugged the waistband of his briefs down and freed his hard length. She wrapped her slender fingers around him and squeezed and stroked the satin-and-steel texture. "Oh…Mere…," Derek moaned while a multitude of emotions coursed through his body. It was enough for her to look up at him, her eyes soft with tenderness. Derek smiled and scooped her up into his strong embrace. Meredith latched her arms around his neck as he carried her to the bed. Easing her gently onto the bed, he moved beside her, capturing her mouth in a slow, sensual kiss. Meredith's fingers twisted in his hair as his lips scattered moist kisses over her jaw, along her throat, her soft breasts and belly. And then he shifted, pressing her knees apart with his shoulders so he could settle in between. He slid close, hooking her legs over his biceps as he went, spreading her and pinning her hips to the mattress so she couldn't move. He dipped his head, and his hot, damp breath brushed along her most intimate part. Pressing his open mouth against her, he glided his tongue upward in a deep stroke as slow and hot as a French kiss. Meredith's entire body shuddered as he licked and suckled her. She tried to tug her hands free, but Derek held her wrists. She moaned and thrashed and heard herself beg. Heat and desire flared through her. Her thighs quivered from being restrained, and the sharp, spiralling need expanded within her as Derek continued his sweet assault to send her over the edge. And then she tumbled…mindlessly and all she could do was moan out his name and let the explosive contractions consume her. Once the aftershocks receded, Derek reared up and released her hands, lifting her left leg and crossing it over his opposite thigh, bending her knee back toward her to give him greater access. Sated and limb, Meredith let him do as he pleased, completely trusting him with her body. He rubbed the tip of his manhood against her and with a flex of his hips he pushed himself slowly into her. He moaned in pleasure, and Meredith's breath hitched at the pressure and depth of his invasion. Derek gathered her close and tilted her hips up to meet his slow thrust as he braced one arm near her head so his fingers tangled in her hair, and rested his other palm over her breast. Though she felt him pulse and throb where they joined, he grew still, and stared worriedly into her eyes. "You OK? I'm sorry if I was a bit fast!" A surge of tenderness welled up in Meredith. With trembling fingers, she lightly traced Derek's jaw and dragged her thumb across his bottom lip. "I'm fine…," she whispered. "…and I like this position," she told him with a smile. "We fit perfectly together!" Derek said, and a part of Meredith wondered if he was talking about more than just the interlocking of their bodies. And then the thought drifted out of her mind as he began to move – strong, powerful thrusts that ignited the same fire within her, she saw in his eyes. Derek's breathing grew harsh and his jaw clenched from restraint. But she didn't want him to hold back for her; she wanted his surrender. Placing her palms down his back, she clenched his buttocks in her hands. Rocking against him rhythmically, she urged him further, higher, harder. The friction they created was exquisite, a slow building wave of pleasure that consumed them both and sent her over the edge first. With a low, guttural growl, Derek closed his eyes, tossed his head back and gave into his own shattering release. Once he caught his breath, he lowered his head and kissed her, slowly, deeply, tenderly, conveying exactly how he felt. How much he cared and how much he loved her!

*** * ***

Meredith gradually woke the following morning with a long, slow, languorous stretch, a sleepy yawn, and a contented smile on her lips. Rolling to her side, she let her lashes drift open…and was disappointed to discover she was all alone in bed. She heard a muted sound coming from downstairs, guessing Derek was up and about, probably making coffee or breakfast. The clock on the nightstand revealed that it was 5.13 a.m. and they needed to leave shortly. Dragging herself from the warm, rumpled bed, Meredith stumbled into the adjoining bathroom. She stepped into the shower stall, turned the tap on to hot, and moved beneath the pulsating spray. She washed her body until it was pink and glowing and then shampooed her hair and dried off with a dry fluffy towel. She brushed her teeth and ran his comb though her wet hair. Back in the bedroom, she opened the closet and took out a pair of jeans and a purple blouse. She grinned as she padded quietly down the hall, hoping she hadn't kept Izzie and Alex awake during the night. She entered the kitchen and found Derek sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee and engrossed in a section of the paper. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a black shirt, his damp hair curled around the nape of his neck. Meredith crossed the kitchen toward the fresh pot of coffee on the counter beckoning to her. "Morning," she murmured.

"Morning," Derek greeted, folding down a corner of the paper to look at her. A warm smile curved his lips. "Did you sleep OK?" Meredith moaned softly. Derek was way too refreshed and cheerful in the morning when she had not yet had her first cup of coffee to jump-start her day. "The few hours I did sleep…were fine," she mumbled. "You wouldn't go for a quickie," Derek grinned while he set his paper aside. Meredith ducked her head as she felt a blush stain her cheeks. Standing, Derek brought his mug to the counter, placing a warm, flirtatious kiss on the side of her neck, then he nuzzled near her ear. "Last night was amazing!" he whispered softly. Meredith grinned and slanted him a naughty look. "Then it sounds to me, you left the bed too early, this morning." Derek smiled and poured hot coffee into Meredith's mug, then refilled his own and sweetened it with cream and sugar. "Well…I debated whether or not to wake you, but figured you were too exhausted after last night!"

"You wouldn't…?" She frowned and playfully smacked his back but Derek grabbed her hand and placed a finger over her lips to silence her. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and then framed Meredith's face in his hands. Then he lowered his head and kissed her, long and slow and deep. When he withdrew, he met her gaze again and without thinking, he blurted out. "When you're ready, will you marry me?" Derek closed his eyes…he regretted his words the moment he'd said them but Meredith smiled tenderly. He was giving her time. Time, she really no longer needed because a day, week, month or year wouldn't change the way she felt about him. She tenderly slid her fingers along his jaw and then softly whispered. "I love you Derek…and when I'm ready…I _**will **_marry you!" Derek's heart thumped in his heart as awareness hit him. Finally she'd said the words he'd longed to hear. He lowered his head and brushed his mouth over Meredith's in a tender kiss. "I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too," she replied.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Derek asked, changing the subject but feeling happier than ever. Meredith shook her head and saluted Derek with her mug. "Caffeine is my most important meal of the day!" Derek sent her a look of disapproval as he went to the refrigerator and pulled out sliced and chilled cantaloupe for himself. "How about a bowl of cereal, or fruit? Or I can make you some eggs or pancakes…?"

"No, I'm fine." Meredith's gaze drifted to the clock on the wall, then back to Derek as he filled a bowl with fruit. "I think I'm gonna go in early…maybe I can talk to Cristina!" Derek nodded in understanding as Meredith walked to the front door and grabbed her jacket. She was about to leave when Derek called out. "Oh, Mere…before I forget. My mom is coming by today. She can't wait to meet you!"

Meredith gaped, her eyes widening in shock and disbelief. "What? _Really_?"

_To be continued in next week's episode…_


	7. An Honest Mistake Epilogue

**An Honest Mistake Epilogue**

Derek sat on the couch in Meredith's living room, eyes closed. No matter where he turned his skull, it hurt…it always hurt. Derek sighed and slightly lifted his head, the jolts of pain in his head nearly blinding him. He slowly opened his eyes to find Meredith, carrying two shot glasses and tucked under her arm, a bottle of tequila. Without looking at her, he poured himself a glass and emptied it in one large gulp then he poured them each a shot and handed Meredith the second glass. For a brief moment, Meredith had laid her head on his shoulder but now she was sitting on the couch, staring straight ahead as if she was afraid to say something. Derek poured himself a third glass and already felt a welcome glow rising from his stomach to his head. After he'd emptied his fourth glass of straight tequila, Derek gazed unhappily at the empty bottle. Then he hurled his empty glass into the living room wall with a loud curse. The sound of breaking glass reverberated through the house and Meredith held her breath tight in her chest. She grabbed Derek by the arm, wrapping her fingers around his arm. "Stop it Derek," she pleaded her voice almost a whisper.

"DON'T," Derek snapped, pulling away from Meredith's grip. "Leave me the hell alone. I'm a murderer…haven't you heard?"

"Derek, don't do this to your self," Meredith replied sadly.

"Don't tell me what I can or can't do," Derek hissed at her, his words slightly slurring.

Meredith swallowed hard and walked over to the window, looking out onto the moonlit street. Her thoughts were jostling with each other. She wanted to make Derek understand that he wasn't alone, that she was there for him. Turning around to face Derek, she gathered her thoughts and decided on a course of action.

"Derek, you've always been there for me. You're the strong one but it's not a bad thing to ask for help every so often; God knows, I've learned from my mistakes. Believe me…I'm here for you now! Whenever you need me…I always will be there for you!"

For a moment, Derek just stood there then he turned and went upstairs without saying a word. Tears bottled up in Meredith's throat but she swallowed them and walked into the kitchen to sweep up the broken glass.

Half an hour later, Meredith found Derek sitting on the edge of her bed, bent down and totally broken. Meredith rushed to his side, gripped his shoulders, helped him get up and guided him into the bathroom.

"You'll feel better after a shower," she said softly.

Derek nodded absently and started to get undressed, his mind definitely elsewhere. "Ouch…ahh."

Meredith stepped closer and Derek didn't protest when she started to help him out of his clothes. She carefully eased off his jeans and socks, putting them aside and then moving back up to his chest to help unbutton his sweater. She led Derek into the shower stall and hung up a towel next to his bathrobe. To her surprise, Derek obeyed, tired and perfectly willing to do as she asked. Steam from the shower had filled the room warming him and helping him calm his nerves. He stood under the hot water for a minute, enjoying how it felt pounding on his sore muscles when he realized, Meredith had joined him. She'd come up behind him and put her arms around him. Derek closed his eyes when she laid her cheek against his upper back.

"Don't…," he whispered. "I don't deserve being treated this nice." Meredith heard how Derek's voice cracked and she sadly shook her head. "Stop pushing me away, Derek!" Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his lean waist and held on to him, afraid of letting him slip away. Slowly he turned around and faced her, the look in his eyes tormented and needful. He flinched when Meredith moved her hand from his shoulder to his face. She expected he'd turn away from her again but instead, he drew her into a tight hug. Tears streamed down Derek's face as he hugged Meredith for all he was worth. There was a long silence between them when finally, Derek broke the silence.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," he whispered. Meredith felt hot tears against her neck but she remained quiet and waited for Derek to continue.

"This woman died because I've made a crucial mistake. She put her life in my hands…and now she'd dead. How can I life with that? He whispered, tears flowing freely.

Meredith hugged Derek even tighter, tears of her own leaking from her eyes.

*** * ***

Meredith lay in bed, tossing and turning, sleep avoiding her. After another five minutes of tossing, she lay on her back staring endlessly at the ceiling. She looked over beside her but only found an empty pillow, a sadness suddenly enveloping her…Derek was gone. Leaving the bedroom, she walked down the stairs. Coming to a halt at the living room door, she hesitated, balling her hand into a fist. She sighed and bit on her bottom lip as she grasped the door handle and slowly pushed it open. Stepping inside, with the door closed behind her, she was left in darkness, the only light coming from a smoldering fire in the fireplace. When her eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room, she glanced around and finally found what she was looking for. She walked over to the couch, her small, bare feet padding across the floor. Standing beside the couch, she stared down at the one man she truly loved. His black hair was sleep-tousled and, even in his sleep, his face was tense. Meredith knelt beside the couch and stared at the empty scotch bottle on the table. She slowly shook her head and gently placed a hand on Derek's shoulder, applying some pressure with her fingers. "Derek?"

Almost instantly, at the sound of her voice, he was awake. His eyes flew open and he shot to a sitting position. "W…what?" With a gasp, he tried to stand but he pulled Meredith down across his chest, pinning her against him. "Derek…let go, you're drunk…," Meredith's protests were cut off as Derek kissed her awkwardly on the side of her mouth. He touched her, sliding his hands under her shirt, lifting it and reaching up to cup her breasts. His mouth was eager, moving on Meredith's, his tongue sliding into her mouth, giving her the aftertaste of liquor. She tried to get away from him but Derek used her fight to rip her panties away. With scared eyes and her mouth still covered with his, she looked up at him. Derek's eyes were glazed with need. He pulled her beneath him and held her until she was tired of fighting him. She surrendered to his strong hold as his breathing in her ear told her, he was definitely alert and the hardness that pressed against her thigh, told her he was aroused. Meredith's hands were locked to her side from Derek's arms around her. His hand moved down in one smooth movement, cupping her right breast in his hand. His breath caressed her neck and as angry and terrified as Meredith was, she noticed his touches were still tender. Derek wrapped his arms around her but Meredith didn't return the hug. Derek rose above her, a tormented look on his face that glowed in the light.

"Please Mere…please. I need you…I need you so much," he begged her, tears beginning to fall down his pale cheeks. "Mere…I…I love you," he carried on, his body trembling. Meredith stared up at Derek. She hadn't seen him cry often but his tears got to her. Derek wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her stomach. Meredith held him and stroked his hair.

"Shhh," she whispered. "It's alright. I'm right here!"

After a while, Derek propped up on his elbow, looking down on Meredith, lying beneath him. The glow of the smoldering fire washed over her, bathing her in the flames. Looking down into her eyes, he finally found some peace. "I'm so sorry, he whispered.

The need and torment in his eyes was beyond any Meredith had ever seen. She'd never seen anyone so broken. She would pay any price to stop his pain. She raised her hand and softly touched his bruised cheek, allowing her fingers to slide over the planes of his face. Knotting her hand in his thick, black hair, she drew Derek to her. As his lips met hers in a hesitant kiss, she opened her mouth and claimed Derek as her own. Derek couldn't breathe and he didn't care. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the sensation. The feel of Meredith's lips on his, the taste of her mouth and the scent of her hair. Finally, she pulled back. "I need you too," she whispered softly, her voice a little hoarse. Gently, she touched his face, wiped away the trial of tears that glittered against his skin. The hesitant smile he gave her said more than words ever could. Derek bent down and placed feathered kisses down Meredith's throat. Moving downward, he grazed her nipple with his teeth and felt her hands clasp his head as she writhed under him. Derek tightened his grip and fought the impulse to grind against her. He'd been with her a thousand times before and she would be with him for a thousand lifetimes more. Yet this time, it felt like their first time. Derek's hurt was a palpable force and he doubted. Meredith opened her eyes and gazed up at him. She saw his doubt and smiled. She cupped his face with both hands and pulled him to her.

"Make love to me Derek. I want to feel you inside of me," she demanded softly. Derek swallowed and stared down into Meredith's eyes. His self-control in check, he drew in a deep breath and moved to give her what she wanted. He eased down gently, afraid he would crush her with his weight. Holding himself off of her with his arms, Derek felt a spasm as Meredith's slender hand wrapped around him and guided him where he needed to be. With infinite slowness, he entered her. At the first touch, she writhed beneath him and closed her eyes. Derek buried himself inside Meredith's welcoming warmth, the grip of her feminine muscles contracting around him. As she softly moaned and gasped for air, Derek shuddered, his hardness still filling her. His eyes were dark with desire and swallowed her whole as he crushed his lips to Meredith's for a bruising kiss. As his tongue skimmed the roof of her mouth, he slowly thrust inside her. Their rhythm was smooth and slow and Meredith instantly responded. She wrapped her arms around Derek's waist and pulled him deeper. The fire grew hotter, the heat all-consuming. Derek whispered Meredith's name over and over again and thrust deeper and harder. When his warmth surged into her, she closed her eyes and joined him in an earth-shattering climax. Afterwards, they collapsed together before the dying fire, their bodies entwined in a frozen dance. As they drifted off to sleep, they still clung to one another, never wanting to part…

_More in the next episode..._


	8. I Will Follow You Into The Dark

**I Will Follow You Into The Dark Epilogue**

Meredith walked into her garden, and opened the house-door. She expected Derek to lie on the couch but the living room turned up empty. "_Derek_?" Meredith called his name but there was no answer. Meredith frowned but strolled into the kitchen. As dirty as the living room was, with all the empty pizza boxes and crumpled beer cans, the kitchen was surprisingly clean. Sure, there stood an empty Scotch bottle on the counter but the sink was unexpectedly empty of dishes. Meredith shrugged her shoulders. At least that was a good sign; Derek had done the dishes. Maybe he'd turned in early? Meredith thought as she climbed the stairs at a run. Reaching her bedroom, she opened the bedroom door to find it empty as well. Meredith crossed the room, slowly taking off her coat and opening a door to her clothes closet. One side of the closet was empty; all Derek's clothes were gone. Meredith glanced around the room. All Derek's things were gone as if they'd never lived together at all. Meredith was sharply hit by the full meaning of the situation. Derek had moved out of the house!

"Stupid…stupid brain man…seriously?" Meredith felt fury rise in her. Hadn't Derek been the one that told her, never to give up? Grabbing her car keys and coat, Meredith headed out the door. She had a very good feeling where to find him. Meredith relaxed her grip on the steering wheel a little as she waited for an elderly man to cross the street. She let out a sigh and drove on, conscious of her concerns about Derek. If only, he hadn't driven while intoxicated. Another few miles ahead, Meredith saw Derek's Jeep parked next to his trailer. She parked behind his Jeep, turning off the lights with a sigh of relief when she saw him standing outside. He was swinging empty beer bottles with his baseball bat. Meredith's initial anger had dissipated partially at the realization; he – at least – was safe.

"You've cleaned all of your clothes out of the closet at the house..." Meredith started while approaching Derek.

"Go home…just go home!" Derek even didn't let Meredith finish her sentence but she wasn't willing to give up.

"Well, how long do you plan on hiding out here…?" she asked while tilting her head slightly to the side…"'cause that's what you're doing; hiding! You made a mistake. She'd dead and you can't hide from that!"

Derek looked up, shooting Meredith a dirty look. "I'm not hiding…I'm not," he snapped at her. "I'm done operating!" he hissed while taking another swing at an empty beer bottle.

"Oh…OK so you're just quitting," Meredith said softly while she felt anger rising from the pit of her stomach.

"You should better understand than anybody else…you wrote the book on quitting…running…hiding. You wrote a lot of books, Meredith," Derek chuckled sarcastically.

"That may be true, but I'm here now!

"Mmm," Derek grinned after taking another gulp of beer, "You're here now…haha. You've wanted me out from the day I moved in…," he snapped.

Meredith felt hot anger rising. "THAT is not true!" But Derek wasn't ready yet. "…because you're incapable of anything that resembles commitment. You've lied to me. You said you were healthy…you were healed…there's no fixing you…you're a LEMON," Derek hissed at Meredith.

"DEREK SHEPHERD…YOU ARE DRUNK," Meredith replied, her voice rising. "…And you're angry and I've been there so I'll get it but that does not give you the right…."

"Just go home Meredith," Derek sighed without looking at her.

"You don't get to just stand here and tell me…," she said, hurt rising out of her heart. Derek wasn't just angry. He was being plain out mean.

"This is what you want. I'm giving you an out…GO," he yelled.

"I'm not going anywhere," Meredith assured him.

"I said leave, Meredith…LEAVE!" Derek cried out in anger and frustration.

Meredith glanced over at her furious boyfriend. Derek's anger scared her but she also remembered the tender (dreamy) look in his eyes and she knew he just wasn't himself.

"I know there's a ring," she tried once more.

That finally caught Derek's attention. He looked up, a little upset. "_What_?"

"The Chief told me. I know there's a ring," Meredith said softly, glad Derek wasn't yelling anymore.

Derek shook his head and for a moment, he stared at the ground. "You want the ring? He said softly, while looking up. Meredith sighed inaudibly. Derek seemed calmer and more receptive. He slipped his hand into his pocket to pull out a black, velvet box. He clicked it open and within the box a beautiful, platinum engagement ring gleamed, nestled between black, velvet cushions. It was fairly simple with a heart-shaped diamond but it was the most beautiful ring, Meredith had ever seen. She looked up at Derek expectantly. A taunt smile curved Derek's lips when he threw it in the air and swung his baseball bat against it. "Here's your ring!"

Meredith's throat felt scratchy and her chest grew tight. Derek dropped the bat to the floor and shot Meredith an angry look. Meredith jumped aside to avoid being hit by the bat.

"Is that the best you've got…," she yelled after Derek as he disappeared into his trailer. "…because I'm not bailing. We're in this together!"

"GO HOME, Meredith," Derek yelled, his voice muffled.

Meredith shook her head but turned and headed back to her car. There was absolutely no way getting through to Derek tonight. Once again back in the reassuring darkness of her car, Meredith realized what had just happened; Derek had broken up with her. "Stupid, stupid brain man!" Meredith rested her head on the steering wheel, trying her hardest not to cry. Derek's words had been harsh, like little knives plunging into her heart.

*** * ***

Derek leaned against the sink in his bathroom. He stood there for a moment and gazed at his own reflection. Frustrated and miserable, he slammed his fist against the glass. Shattering with an explosive blow, the mirror fell into a thousand pieces…dagger-size shards and smaller silver pebbles sprayed across the bathroom floor. Derek stepped backwards, crushing pieces of the broken mirror under his shoes. Standing completely still, he froze with his arms extended, clasping the sink. Suddenly, he leaned forward, braced himself over the sink and vomited. When his stomach was empty, Derek cupped his hands, rinsed off his face and hands and spit the sourness out of his mouth. He stumbled out of the bathroom and dropped on the bed. Hurting Meredith had been the last thing he'd wanted to do. But as he'd watched her, standing at the edge of the clearing where ounce their house would be built, enormous guilt about killing an innocent woman and her unborn baby, had tore at his heart. How great had his desire been to just cross the short distance between them and wrap his arms around her, instead he'd driven her away with his harsh words. Now Derek wished he could take back the words, he'd just carelessly spat out. Words said out of anger, hurt and frustration. Derek wished he could take them all back. That he'd been smart enough to keep them to himself, but something inside him had just snapped. He hadn't been able to stop himself. And though he'd said the worst thing imaginable, and wished he could take it back…deep…deep down, he knew he had needed to say it. And Meredith had needed to hear…

Derek stared at the ceiling. "Oh, God, what have I done?" he whispered hoarsely. He could feel wet tears running down his face. He wiped them away with the backside of his right hand but more tears ran down his cheeks; Derek started crying uncontrollably. He curled up on his bed, his hands clenched tightly in a pillow. He cried until his whole body shook, until he could cry no more. Still shaking, he rolled onto his back staring at the ceiling, his pillow still gripped tightly in his hands. The trailer suddenly seemed so empty and so unwelcome. His bed felt empty without the presence of Meredith's warm body that usually occupied the vacant spot on the other side of the bed. After what seemed an eternity to him, Derek closes his eyes and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

*** * ***

Meredith stared straight ahead. She'd been sitting in the car for half an hour, thinking about what just happened. For a long moment, she closed her eyes as if making up her mind, then she gave a long sigh and opened the car door. As she walked across the clearing, twigs crumbled under her feet. She glanced at the trailer but everything was quiet. Stepping carefully over the rocky soil, she came to the place where she thought, the ring dropped. Falling to her knees, the darkness covered Meredith like a black cloak and she felt her way along the grass. She raked through the leaves and grass for a long time but couldn't find the ring. Tears started to fall from her eyes and she was about ready to give up when she saw something glistening…

Meredith looked down at the ring she held in her hand and sniffled. She hesitated for a moment but then she walked up to the trailer and slowly opened the trailer door.

*** * ***

Derek woke with his face buried in the pillow, his morning breath awful enough to wake the dead. He stuck his arm out and groped on the night stand for a vial of Tylenol but he'd run out a few days ago and had forgotten to buy new ones. "Crap," he mumbled but winced as the word echoed through his skull. Stiffly, he kicked away his blankets and hauled himself up. He'd gone to bed fully dressed. The trailer lurched and Derek swayed on the edge of his bed. When he looked up, his eyes widened as he saw the ring. It was lying on the table and next to it was a note.

_D._

_Even if I yell…even if you yell. I'm always gonna show up! See you tomorrow. _

_M._

Derek closed his eyes and sighed. This was a memory he'd carried with him for years; their first, real fight. She'd left him at the hospital, simply because she didn't know how to fight and make up. He'd said those same words to her. A small smile curved Derek's lips as he stepped into his bathroom in search for something that could clear his headache.

_More in the next episode..._


	9. Stand By Me Epilogue

**Stand By Me Epilogue**

Derek was deeply engrossed in thoughts as he stared into the darkness ahead. The sky looked vast and beautiful with stars twinkling all over it but Derek didn't notice any of that. He was looking at the trees coming into light as an approaching car's light fell on them. The silence was broken by the slamming of a car door and Derek's heart started beating awkwardly as he slowly began to feel nervous. When Meredith came into sight, his eyes grew soft and a hesitant smile curved a corner of his lips. A small smile played upon Meredith's own lips as she approached him.

"Thanks for coming," Derek said softly. Meredith took in a deep breath to calm herself, trying to ignore Bailey's words that had been spinning through her head from the moment she'd heard them; _Izzie has cancer…Izzie has cancer…!_

"Thanks for calling," she said.

"I love you!" Derek murmured.

"I know," Meredith assured him.

Derek averted his eyes, afraid to ask her the next question for fear she would say no, but he had to know. "Would you still love me if I wasn't a surgeon?" Meredith only hesitated for a moment in her answer. "No…"

Derek froze and his heart almost skipped a beat but then Meredith stepped closer. She sat down next to him and continued…"…No, because Izzie…has skin cancer that has spread to her brain." Meredith paused for a moment to let her words sink in. "…And you're one in about twenty people in the world that can save her…and I don't know if I can respect somebody that can walk away from a gift like that…so please don't!" Meredith studied Derek's face, observing the small wrinkles and dark circles beneath his eyes, all of which had developed over the last few days. Derek swallowed, unable to speak, his senses on alert by Meredith's words. One of her best friends had cancer. She shot him a pleading look and then took a large envelope, her voice slightly trembling. "These are her scans…it's pretty bad," she added softly. For one moment, Derek's and Meredith's eyes locked and Derek felt like she knew everything he was feeling and then…the moment was over and their surroundings snapped back into focus. Meredith gave him a small nod and rose to her feet. As she walked to her car, she glanced back at him for one quick moment and Derek could see the uncertainty in her eyes. Deep down, he knew what her question was; save Izzie!

After Meredith was gone, Derek sat on the wooden deck for a long while. Raising his hands to his face, he rubbed his tired eyes and then glanced at the envelope. Taking out the x-rays, his professional skills kicked in; holding them against the light, he immediately noticed the metastasis in Izzie's brain.

*** * ***

Meredith took a deep breath and made her way across the parking lot from Seattle Grace Hospital, taking into account that Izzie was staying behind, lying alone in a hospital bed, diagnosed with stage four skin cancer. She thought briefly about going to Joe's but dismissed the idea because she had to keep her senses together, especially now. Meredith could feel tears filling her eyes and she blinked rapidly, wishing they would disappear but without success. She felt them sliding down her cheeks. Inside the car, Meredith clasped the steering wheel and started crying. Not big noisy sobs, just a little leakage from the eyes, but it didn't seem to want to stop. She wiped her tears away and blew her nose but simply couldn't stop sobbing. Without letting herself think about it for a minute, she started the car and drove off, knowing exactly where she was going. Pulling up in front of the trailer, she was glad to see, the lights were still on. She knocked on the trailer door loudly and heard a scuffle inside. Derek opened the door and looked at her, confusion on his face.

"_Meredith_?" he asked, looking at her concernedly.

Meredith felt tears running down her cheeks but ignored them. "I love you too," she whispered softly. She closed her eyes momentarily and when she opened them, she saw Derek's lip trembling slightly. He just stared at her, seconds passing by. Meredith wished the ground would swallow her whole. Derek was still in the dark place. He couldn't deal with her darkness too. "I'm sorry…it's just…," Meredith shook her head. "I'm going…" And with that, she turned and practically sprinted off the wooden deck.

"Mere…," Derek shouted, walking after her. "Wait!"

Meredith stopped and turned around. Derek kept walking evenly toward her, hands in his pocket. "_What_?" she whispered.

"I want one goodnight kiss," he whispered, finally letting a hint of a smile slip onto his face. He stopped a foot away from Meredith. She swallowed hard but then flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to kiss him. Derek's hands slipped around Meredith's waist, pulling her closer. She revelled in it, letting her fingers slide into his hair. She pulled away, moving her hands down his forearms. His hands held tight to her waist, causing her to stay pressed against him.

"I love you so much." Meredith murmured, placing her palms against Derek's chest. His eyes suddenly looked wet and he had to swallow a few times before he could speak. "I know," Derek's voice had a choked tone to it. The two stood outside the trailer embracing each other with their tears reflecting from the moonlight, both feeling each other's sadness. As Derek looked into Meredith's eyes a sort of understanding began to make its way across their faces and for just a few moments, they felt a simple, beautiful lightness in their hearts. Finally, Derek lifted Meredith's chin and looked into her tear-filled eyes. "We **will** make it through this," he whispered softly. Meredith nodded her agreement as she placed her head on Derek's chest and inhaled deeply. After an hour, Derek softly nudged Meredith's arm. "It's getting cold…you should better go home," he stated gently. Meredith nodded and pulled her jacket tighter around herself. It was winter in Seattle and although they lacked snow, the air was very cold. She shivered as Derek reluctantly let go of her. "See you tomorrow?" Derek leaned down and Meredith shot a glance at him. "Yeah," she smiled slightly. Derek leaned down the rest of the way, kissing her goodnight with a passion they both hadn't experienced in a long time. Derek deepened the kiss and Meredith put her arms around Derek's neck, gently letting her tongue touch his lips. Eventually, Derek broke the kiss, his lips a hairsbreadth away from Meredith's. "Mere…I…," Derek kissed her again. Hard…this time. Claiming her lips. Plundering her mouth with his tongue. Meredith kissed him back with equal fervour. His hands caressed her back and Meredith caressed his. Gasping for air, she finally tore her lips away from him. Derek was looking at her, his eyes serious. "Please…stay," he whispered.

*** * ***

Derek pulled open a dresser drawer and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and two t-shirts. He handed Meredith one of them. "Is this OK?" Meredith nodded and disappeared into the small bathroom. When she returned, Derek was already curled up in bed, waiting for her. "God, I've missed this," he said softly, the words coming out in a choked whisper. "Me too," Meredith confessed while she slid down next to Derek, sliding up under his arm, her head resting on his chest. Derek switched off the night lamp and glowing moonlight filtered into the trailer, silver beams bouncing off Meredith's hair. "Night," Derek whispered while he kissed the top of Meredith's head. Instead of replying, Meredith turned in his arms, hers and Derek's limbs entwining. She softly kissed his lips and pressed her body against Derek's, feeling his warm breath against her neck.

"_Mere…_?" Derek whispered.

"I just want to forget," she pleaded, her eyes glistening. Derek swallowed while Meredith sat up and pulled the t-shirt over her head. "Please…make me forget Derek!"

Without further thinking, Derek nodded, pulling Meredith closer and under him. He captured her chin, lifting her gaze to meet his then he lowered his gaze to Meredith's lips. She moistened her lips, craving for Derek to lean down and kiss her. "I need you," she whispered hoarsely. Derek's hand tightened on her thigh and his head shot up, his eyes boring into Meredith's. "I need you too," he breathed, leaning into Meredith and tenderly kissing her.

They spent a long time, kissing and caressing each other. Finally Derek moved Meredith under him and started kissing her neck. Meredith moaned softly, clutching Derek's hair. He rolled off her and gazed at her while Meredith looked at him too, her face slightly flushed. Derek traced her features with his finger and caressed her cheek with the palm of his hand. "God, you're beautiful," he said softly. Meredith smiled but said nothing; she just kept staring into Derek's eyes. He gazed at her loving- and longingly. She really was perfect, right from her sweet lavender smelling hair, fanning the pillow to her flushed face…her small, round breasts…her smooth, flat stomach…and long shapely legs. Derek sighed, slowing slipping off his sweatpants and boxers. Meredith closed her eyes and quivered, knowing they would make love. Derek watched Meredith's face, concentrating on every little flinch. His finger slowly ran down her body. Meredith's belly trembled under his gentle touches. He slowly slid his hands to the inside of her knees, sliding them slowly up her thighs until his fingers just barely grazed the fabric of her panties. His fingers followed the outline of the panties she wore, her legs slightly trembling with each touch. Derek slowly caught the thin fabric and slid it gently down her legs, leaving her as naked as he was. He softly ran a finger over her while kissing her thigh. Meredith's body moved against him. "Oh…Derek…please," she moaned. His head came down and he gently ran his tongue over her. Meredith moaned again; bringing up her knees and spreading them, allowing him easier access. Derek licked Meredith until she thought, she couldn't take much more. Derek was causing all sorts of sensations in her body and the fire, he started, was almost unbearable. Her head pushed back into the pillows and she writhed under him. She bit her bottom lip, almost begging for release but at the same time, she didn't want it to end…and then Derek pushed her even further to the edge when he slowly pushed his fingers into her. He kissed her belly as he made his way up her body to her mouth, which he claimed as his own. His fingers moved slowly in and out her…over and over again and Meredith felt her body jerk in response. Derek gazed down at her and watched Meredith's face. Her eyes were closed, head flung back and her breathing was heavy. Her hands clenched the sheet as her toes curled. Derek's thumb searched around until he found her most sensitive spot. She whimpered as the feelings intensified. He felt her feminine muscles clench around his fingers as she cried out his name. After a while, her body became limp and her breathing slowed. Her eyes opened and searched his. He felt Meredith's hand on his face, as she pulled him down for a tender kiss. "Show me your love, Derek…," Meredith whispered as she pushed herself against him. Derek slowly moved on top of her, stilling kissing her. Her hands were on his buttocks as he slowly guided himself into her. Derek's eyes closed and he trembled as desire took over. He moved inside her, feeling the ridges of her skin against his. The friction between their bodies created heat and passion. Meredith moved beneath him, meeting his thrusts but Derek slowed down. He held the sides of her face and whispered. "Look at me Meredith…I want to see your eyes." Meredith smiled and opened her eyes as Derek started a blissful rhythm, their eyes never leaving each other. The intensity increased as Derek drove his length into her again and again. His thrusts became stronger and more forceful as Derek clasped her hands. Their reunion became an act of forgiveness, consolation and utter love. Meredith writhed under Derek and she moaned his name. "Ohh…Derek….!"

"Ahh! Mere…I'm…," Derek's body spasmed as he felt her muscles squeeze and tighten around him. He felt her shudder and at that moment he filled her with his seed. Derek collapsed on top of her, breathless. He was heavy but Meredith didn't mind. The weight of him, almost crushing her felt so good. _The love she felt for him, had never felt stronger and she felt overwhelmed by it_. She wrapped her arms around him and started trembling, tears slowly sliding down her face. Derek shot up alarmed, cupping her face. "What is it?" Meredith looked up at Derek, caressing his face, softly kissing him. "It's nothing….I just…I love you so much…just promise me, you'll never leave me?" Derek swallowed hard, head down. "I'm so sorry for all the things I've said to you…please forgive me?" Meredith smiled as she tilted Derek's chin, tenderly kissing him. "There's nothing to forgive!"

*** * ***

The sun hadn't come up over the horizon when Derek awoke. He lifted his head to look at the alarm and then down at Meredith, who was still sleeping in his arms. Derek smiled and lifted a hand to gently touch her face, marvelling at the softness of it. She began to stir as he continued stroking her cheek.

"Mere…," he whispered tenderly. "It's time to wake up."

She softly sighed as her eyelids fluttered open.

"Morning," Derek brushed her cheek with a gentle finger and bent down to press a tender kiss on Meredith's lips.

"Morning," Meredith smiled as she caressed Derek's rough stubble.

"Did you sleep OK," Derek smiled as he started brushing feather light kisses over Meredith's temple and cheek, pausing over her mouth and then passing over it to press another tender kiss on her opposite cheek.

"Mmm," Meredith hummed softly as she stared at Derek's face, studying his stubbed jaw. Her nostrils flared when Derek neared her lips but before he could kiss her, she whispered. "Have you made a decision yet?"

Derek sighed shakily, his forehead coming to rest against Meredith's chin. "I don't know if I'm ready yet," he said, avoiding Meredith's eyes. She felt her heart breaking at his answer. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Derek stepping out of bed. He slipped in his robe, opened the trailer door and stepped outside. Meredith flipped back the covers and stepped out of bed. She gazed around for something to wear.

Derek stood on the wooden deck, clenching and unclenching his jaw as he stared at the horizon. Meredith stepped outside and walked to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his back. "Don't…," she whispered softly.

"Don't…what?" Derek said.

"Don't walk away from me…not after yesterday. You know I'm here for you Derek!" Meredith answered.

Derek turned to look at Meredith, his eyes apologizing. "I'm sorry," he whispered, blinking at her with watery, blue eyes. "…and yes!"

"Yes what?"

"I'm going in with you," Derek said softly.

Meredith's eyes grew wide and sparkling with happy tears. She twined her arms around Derek's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "I love you so much," she breathed when she let go of him.

"Now let's go…I know Iz will be thrilled if she hears you will operate!"

When Meredith flew inside to get dressed, Derek's expression changed; his smile dropped and he sighed heavily before stepping inside the trailer. _Was he really ready to perform brain surgery on one of Meredith's best friends? _

_More in the next episode..._


	10. Good Mourning Epilogue

**Good Mourning epilogue**

"_**Grieve maybe a thing we all have in common…but it looks different on everyone**_**…"**

There was soft knocking at the door and Marc snapped his head towards it. He stood and walked to the door, opening it all the way. Lexie was standing in the hallway, smiling at him; a cross between a smirk and a shy smile.

"Hey," Marc said softly.

Without answering, Lexie held up a toothbrush and then a pair of black, lace panties.

Marc chuckled and she placed them in his big hands before turning to her large suitcase, rolling it into his apartment.

"_**It isn't just death**__** we have to grieve…it's life, it's loss, it's change…"**_

Marc closed the door and smirked, almost laughed actually before walking up slowly to Lexie, taking her face in his hands and tilting her chin up so he could look into her chocolate, brown eyes.

"I'm glad you're here," he whispered.

Lexie started to smile, to lean into Marc. He tilted her head just slightly to kiss her lightly on the lips, "Thanks for moving in…you have no idea what this means to me!"

Lexie leaned in closer, closing her eyes and "mmm"-ing. "I guess it was time," she mumbled.

Marc kissed her again, still softly, "Isn't it time for bed yet?" he smirked. Lexie's eyes snapped open, "_What_?" She looked up at Marc and hit him playfully in the chest, "Is that all you think about?"

"Actually…," Marc grinned.

"I haven't even unpacked and…," Lexie turned toward her suitcase. Marc laughed again, "There's nothing in there you need," he said, taking Lexie's hand, slowly leading her into the bedroom.

"But…what about…," Lexie protested.

Marc said nothing but pulled back the covers of his king-size bed, turning Lexie so she was in front of it, then pushing her slowly down into a sitting position.

She bit her bottom lip, looking up at him, "So, you…"

"Wanna make love to you? Yes!" Marc completed her sentence.

A shy smile lit Lexie's face followed by a frown, "But what about…?"

Marc didn't answer but slowly pushed Lexie into a lying position, starting to kiss her neck.

"Marc…?" Lexie tried to sit back up, but half way fell down again. Marc smirked and sat up, pulling a small box of condoms out of his pocket, waving it in front of her, "I'm coming prepared," he smiled.

"Ahhh…," Lexie nodded.

"Yes," Marc grinned.

"I bought a box too," Lexie smiled, motioning towards her suitcase, "…a large one!"

Marc pulled the covers up over Lexie, sitting down on the edge of the bed, slowly undressing, then he leaned down to kiss her again, "We'll use all of them," he mumbled against her lips. Lexie snaked her arms around Marc's neck as he slipped his tongue inside her mouth.

When they finally broke apart, gasping for air, Lexie snuggled even closer to Marc, his breath blowing hot on her neck and making her shiver. Marc pulled her tighter against him, kissing her shoulder, "No one can love me like you," he whispered.

"…_**And as we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes**__**…has to hurt so bad; the thing we got to try to remember is…it can turn on a dime…"**_

Alex got out of his car and slammed its door. He chilled to the cold night air and stared at the trailer ahead of him before stepping onto the wooden deck. He glanced through the window for a moment; a sliver of moon behind the clouds showing him Izzie's silhouette. He opened the trailer door and stepped inside but he froze as his searching gaze fell upon the numerous candles that were lit throughout the trailer. His heart suddenly began pounding, "What's this?"

"Take off your pants," Izzie required softly.

"Iz…it's…er," Alex mumbled nervously, overwhelmed by her demand.

Izzie rose from the bed and walked to him, "Be my husband…get undressed…get into bed and _hold me_! I don't know what you're so mad about and I don't know what you're scared off because you won't talk to me but I'm scared too Alex and I…I can't…if you won't…," Izzie sighed, "If we're gonna have any chance at a life together than I need you to…," Izzie swallowed and stepped closer to Alex, reaching out to touch his cheek, "…_please_?"

Alex grabbed Izzie's hand before she really touched him and a sigh escaped his lips as he stared into her sad, brown eyes, "You died in my arms. You died in my arms. You freakin' died and then you left instructions that I wasn't allowed to safe your life! You wanna know what I'm scared of? I'm scared of everything…I'm scared to move. I'm scared to breathe. I'm scared to touch you. I can't loose you. I won't survive," Alex' voice grew softer, calmer, "…and that's your fault," he pointed his finger toward Izzie. "You made me love you. You made me let you in…and then you freakin' died in my arms," Alex' voice rose again, screaming almost.

Izzie swallowed and then stepped forward, cupping Alex' face with tenderness, their foreheads touching.

She swallowed hard and began to see what was inside Alex, how deep he cared for her, how afraid he'd been.

"…_**and that's how you stay alive**__**! When it hurts so much you can't breathe…that's how you survive**_."

Their lips softly touched and Izzie closed her eyes as they wrapped their arms around each other, hugging and holding on for dear life.

As they slightly pulled back, Izzie whispered, "Please don't pull away from me, Alex. I can't bare it. Please love me, they way I love you!"

As Alex felt Izzie's chest pound, the dark shadows and sad memories slowly began to fade, replaced with a feeling of peace. He angrily brushed the moisture from his face and without speaking; he placed his hand at the curve of Izzie's back, pulling her even closer. He lifted her hand and touched his lips to her wrist. He kissed her brow, her eyelids then moved down to her mouth. He lingered inside, tasted her sweet flavour, inhaling her scent. He caressed her neck, feeling her pulse quicken, her muscles tighten, her breath matching his, increasing with each touch.

And at that particular moment, Alex felt the physical urge and emotional need to be with Iz; the hunger to consume her…touch her, become part of her. There was no more hesitation, no reluctance to put forth his feelings…everything was clear.

Izzie's voice trembled as she whispered, "I'm scared."

Alex issued a low groan, resonating from his throat as fire raged through his body, a heat that could only be quenched one way. He lifted Izzie, cupped her in his arms and carried her to the small bed, "Then we'll both be scared," he whispered as he started unbuttoning Izzie's shirt, pressing his face against her chest and inhaling her scent.

In one moment, their clothes were gone and Alex studied Izzie's skin, her shape…her mouth. He became enraptured by its beauty; its response to his touch. As he stared into Izzie's eyes and recognized her desire for him and him alone, their emotions blended together. Lust, tenderness, love and a powerful yearning to be with her, to be inside her body, share her mind, her soul.

Alex caressed Izzie's breasts, watched as they pulsed and responded to the touch of his lips, the goosed bumps encircling the protruded centres. He kissed down below her rib cage, across her navel and continued lower. Izzie's mouth opened and then closed as she bit down across her lower lip. Her eyelids pulled back, opened fully as she arched upward, pressed against his mouth. She felt the sensation, the tingling, rising from her legs up her back. As the waves rippled across her body, she moaned his name, over and over again.

Alex felt his heart pound against his chest, his rapid breath against Izzie's face as she gazed up at him. Almost unnoticeably she nodded and Alex slowly, gently joined with her, becoming one with the woman he loved. Carefully they merged, two humans linked as one body, moving in harmony. With each thrust, Alex sensed the warmth inside; penetrating deeper as the echo of rain that suddenly skated across the metal roof of the trailer blended with the sounds of a man and a woman making love.

As they moved together, Alex caressed Izzie's smooth skin, felt the flesh of her body absorb his heat. He increased their rhythm, pushed faster and at the peak, it all disappeared; the dark shadows of cancer, the sorrow of the loss of George; everything vanished except their love for each other. For an instant, at the crest of their journey, they remained motionless, united as one, all their muscles strained, their nerves on fire. Then they floated back and collapsed beside each other.

After several moments, Alex turned Izzie's body. He pressed his groin against her warm flushed buttocks. He kissed behind her ear and across her neck to her arms. He traced his hand down the curve of her waist, along her thigh and arched his arm across her chest. He held her tightly, until they both drifted off, together. Their legs and arms entwined, until they were like one body…one mind and it felt right, like it was always meant to be…

The elevator dinged and the door slid open. Miranda stepped inside and stared at her feet. Right before the door closed, a hand slid inside and the doors opened again. Derek Shepherd stepped into the elevator and his fresh cologne wafted over Miranda as he briefly nodded at her, "Miranda."

Derek stepped beside her, their shoulders almost brushing.

"_**But remembering that one day…somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way, it won't hurt this much**_."

Derek shifted and brushed Miranda's shoulder again. Her stomach squeezed and she forced her gaze straight ahead. _If he only wouldn't speak_…He stood so close; she could feel the heat radiating from his body. Suddenly he turned and pushed the stop button, turning toward her. His blue eyes met hers and his gaze was filled with understanding. Miranda struggled to clear her mind and think of nothing…not to think of Izzie or George, ignoring the ache in her chest but Derek kept staring intently at her and she finally sighed.

"Look, I…I'm an attending…and I am a single mother…and I lost O'Malley and…er…I…I can't care anymore…," Miranda slowly shook her head. "Stevens is _not_ my child. O'Malley was _not_ my child. I have to stop treating…I just have to stop caring so much. I can't keep feeling…," Miranda's voice almost cracked at the emotions rolling through her, "…like this. Not at work. I have to safe the feeling for my son who needs it…I just can't keep giving it away…I can't…," her voice grew softer and the ache in her chest was almost overwhelming but then she straightened and looked forward, "…I won't," she stubbornly said. Derek lowered his head, staring down at Miranda. He smiled at her, a calm, kind smile. It surprised him to see how at ease she now was in comparison to her confused state of mind he'd sensed when he stepped on the elevator. He turned and pushed the stop button again, stepping beside her.

"_**The grieve comes at its own time for everyone…in its own way**_."

"_**So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty**_."

Cristina and Owen sat on the couch in nervous anticipation, each of them wanting to feel it so badly, it almost hurt.

Their kiss was long and lingering, but suddenly Owen pulled back, sighing, "I don't wanna hurt you again. My problems; they're real and this…this makes us…this make _my_ problems, your problems. I'm afraid. I don't wanna hurt you again," Owen said again while looking down and shaking his head.

"You can sleep in the bathtub," Cristina chuckled.

"_What_?" Owen looked up, smiling. Cristina smiled back, cupping Owen's face between her hands and kissing him again. A feeling of utter and sheer joy shot through him, making him vibrate and glow with warmth and energy. He felt a feeling of incredible love and it was at that moment, he understood what love really was.

Owen smiled, "OK…I'll sleep in the tub." Then he slowly leaned closer and kissed Cristina again before they slowly started undressing one another like they had all the time in the world…and they did.

Meredith sat in the locker room, stuffing her things into her bag, when a janitor entered, carrying a big, carton box.

"_**The really crappy thing…the really worst part of grieve, is that you can't control it**_."

She looked up startled when he started cleaning out the locker beside her own, "What are you doing?" she asked abruptly.

"We need the space," the janitor explained dismissive. Meredith swallowed hard and she saw the embroidered letters on George's doctor's coat and she strongly felt the urge to snatch it from the box but instead she stared straight ahead…

"_**The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes…"**_

Arizona sat on a bar stool at Joe's, shoving a glass of red whine to her left when she saw Callie entering the bar. She dropped her bag onto an empty bar stool and sat down, sighing, "Heey…oh, thank you. I'm stuck with this intern today. It took him four tries to stick in a central line. Reminded me a little bit of George, actually. When he was an intern." Callie reminisced smiling.

Arizona smiled and listened to Callie without interrupting her, glad to see that loving smile back on her friend's face again.

"…_**and to let it go when we can**_."

_George is gone…George is dead_.

No…no, Meredith thought as she softly started sobbing, the tears streaming down her cheeks. Her body shook as she cried, letting all the pain finally seep inside. George was dead…one of her best friends was gone…forever. Meredith's heart began to ache and the uncontrollable sobbing couldn't stop anymore.

When Derek entered the locker room, he saw Meredith's face, wet with tears while her entire body shook with sobs.

In an instant he was near her, "_Meredith_."

"**The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it…it starts all over again."**

At the sound of Derek saying her name, another sob escaped her throat and she even couldn't hide it anymore; the weights of her grieve too heavy. Sadness had weighed down her eyes with raw tears over the loss of George and she was almost falling over the edge of her sadness when Derek sat down beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder; relieved Meredith finally showed her emotions. He just held her as she cried, making sure she knew he was there for her. When Meredith finally regained more control, Derek kissed her forehead. She remained in his arms as she cried silently. When Derek slightly pulled away, Meredith looked up at him, "George is gone!" Derek nodded, "I know…baby. I know."

**……………………………**

Lying down on the bed, Meredith soon drifted off into restless sleep. Her dreams were filled of George and how he'd scribbled 0-0-7 in her hand. She woke with a start but Derek held her as she sobbed again. When exhaustion finally kicked in, she drifted off to sleep again. The next morning, Meredith awoke early, Derek still sleeping beside her. She got out of bed carefully, so not to wake him, going downstairs silently. When she reached the hallway, she saw the picture; the picture of the five of them, starting out as interns at Seattle Grace Hospital. Meredith walked over to the photo and stared at it. She didn't know how long she'd stood there, tears watering her eyes again when Derek came up behind her. He pulled her against him as tightly as he could and whispered, "It's OK…just let it all out."

Meredith shuddered and burrowed against Derek as she trembled with renewed emotions.

"Hold me Derek. Just hold me."

Derek sighed and scooped Meredith up in his arms, climbing the stairs back to their bedroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed, cradling Meredith like a child. When her crying had subsided to occasional sniffles, she glanced up at him, "P…promise me…you'll never jump in front of a b…bus to save someone, "she hiccupped.

"I promise," Derek smiled ad he edged her even closer to him. They stayed that way for quite a while, comfortable in each other's arms. Meredith finally separated herself from him, although Derek seemed reluctant to let her go. She looked down on him, taking in a deep breath, "I know what had a lot of s.e.x. the last couple of days but now I want you to make love to me Derek."

"Meredith? Are you…?"

"Make love to me Derek," she whispered again, her fingers moving along his chest. Derek pulled her into his arms, capturing Meredith's lips with his. She needed this. He needed this. He felt her yearning, her need to be consoled. "I love you," he whispered against her lips.

Meredith smiled as she saw the tenderness in his eyes. Derek's lips wandered down her neck as he carefully pushed her down onto the bed. He quickly pulled off his shirt and let it tumble to the floor. His fingertips ran lightly over her lips. Softly he kissed her and gently he caressed her. Meredith sat up and pulled her own shirt off then she reached down and unbuttoned Derek's pants. When they were both naked, Derek watched how Meredith's fingers ran down his chest, her eyes following the trail her fingers made. When her hand wrapped around him, he gasped, looking up into her face. He reached down and pulled her u to him. He cupped the back of Meredith's head and kissed her deeply, slowly rolling over her placing her under him. He held his breath as he positioned himself between her thighs. Slowly he pushed forward while he brought one hand up to caress Meredith's cheek.

"Mer…."

The love in her eyes touched him and he watched her face as he thrust deeply inside her. Slowly he moved his hips as he captured her lips. Meredith choked back the tears that threaten to spill at this beautiful moment. She reached up and pulled Derek closer, wanting to feel his entire body against hers as he gently made love to her.

"I love you," she murmured as she felt that wonderful feeling building and then…she surrendered to it. Derek's caresses, the way he moved in and out of her, his soft kisses…she felt it all. As the waves slowly subsided, Derek's moans drew her attention. She looked up into his face as he started thrusting faster, eyes closed.

"Derek…please look at me," she whispered.

Derek opened his eyes and looked deeply into Meredith's eyes as his orgasm hit. She shuddered looking at the pleasure etched on his handsome face. The soft way he whispered her name as he kissed her again, warmed her heart. She held him tightly, wanting to feel him against her. She closed her eyes and a warm smile curved her lips.

_The memories of George would be forever marked on her soul. That was what he'd left her. Nothing would ever fade, especially the memories of him._

_And the love… _

"_**And always…every time…**_

Cristina and Owen lay together in complete bliss when it finally hit her. She swallowed and gasped, "George O'Malley died."

…_**it takes your breath away." **_

_More in the next episode..._


	11. I Always Feel Like Someone's Watchin' Me

**I Always Feel Like Someone's Watchin' Me Epilogue**

"Yeah…I'm sorry. I don't have time for games. I have to get back to the hospital," Cristina muttered through a grimace.

"She's right. She does have to get back to the hospital," Meredith agreed while she glanced at her friend. Derek who caught Meredith's gaze, interrupted, "We're not gonna talk about the hospital. We're here to play baseball!"

"Here…drink beer," Marc grinned as he handed out bottles of beer to everyone, "Drink beer!"

"What more do you want in life," Derek grinned at Cristina's annoyed look.

"How can I drink beer when just all my friends got fired," Lexie started muttering to Marc.

"You know…I'm sorry. I'm leaving," Cristina snapped while she turned around to leave but to her surprise, Owen stopped her," Oww…wow. You need this!" He placed a black helmet on Cristina's head and grabbed her shoulders to drag her back to the plate. "I..no..I," Cristina protested but Owen pushed the bat in her hand while Derek grabbed a catching glove from the ground.

"Now…hit the ball," Owen ordered while he hurried to the pitching machine.

"I don't wanna hit the ball," Cristina muttered. Before she realized what happened, the first ball missed her by an inch, "Oh my God…what are you trying…," Cristina shook her head.

"You need to stop thinking about what's going to happen. You focus on what's right in front of you…NOW…hit the ball!" Owen ordered while he pushed the remote, causing the second ball to launch.

Cristina stood at the pitcher's plate and automatically swung the bat. It hit the ball with a resonating crack, which merged perfectly with the sudden cheering in the background, "Oh my God…I hit it. I hit it," Cristina cheered while she handed the bat to Lexie, hugging Meredith, "I hit it!"

Marc placed the helmet on Lexie's head and she took her place on the plate. She missed the first ball but smacked the second one, way across the field.

"How about a real game? Us against you guys!" Lexie giggled. "You're on," Marc yelled while he took another sip from his bottle.

Derek smiled as Meredith turned to look at him. His heart almost melted at the sparkling look in her eyes. She was the very picture of health; a halo glowing around her skin and exposed to the cold night, air, a rosy flush was painted on her face. She grabbed the bat, bent her knees slightly and planted both feet with toes pointing outward, "Get ready Lex…'cause I'm bringing you home!"

Derek glanced at Meredith again. Several wisps of her golden hair had come loose from the helmet, and it curled around her ears. He lifted his hand in a wave and she smiled again before focusing on the pitch. _God…how much he loved her_.

Meredith pursed her lips in concentration. Setting her jaw as firmly as her determination, she gripped the bat even tighter, resolved to smack Owen's pitch over the fielders' heads.

"Knock it all the way to kingdom come, Mer" Cristina shouted from across the field. Meredith nodded and tapped her bat against the plate. The ball was high and…perfect. Meredith hit it with all her strength and Lexie slid across home after a perfect run. She stood up as Marc tossed the ball back to Owen. Cristina clapped and cheered, "We won…we won!" Meredith giggled as she took off her helmet, sitting down in the grass.

"Way to go, honey," Derek said as he sat down next to her, "Congratulations".

"Thanks." Meredith was short of breath and took a long drink of water, wiping her mouth with her wrist, "God…this was fun!"

"It was!" Derek's arms came around her and Meredith leaned back against him, tilting her head to smile up at him. Derek affectionately nuzzled her neck. She twisted in his arms, offering him her lips with a slow smile. Grinning, he kissed her, his hands sliding over her back to hold her hips.

Pulling away, he brushed hair out of her eyes, "It's getting late, you know?"

"Yeah," Meredith mumbled while closing her eyes, revelling in the warmth of Derek's hug.

"Who wants to join us for a drink at Joe's?" Cristina suddenly yelled.

"I'm in," Meredith replied, sticking her hand up in the air. Derek grinned a little before he got to his feet, dusting the dirt from his clothes then he grabbed Meredith's hand, pulling her to her feet.

**………………….**

At Joe's they sat, squashed around a little table. Meredith sat with a shot of tequila slightly back from the table, observing everybody rather than joining in with the conversation. The excited chatter drifted through many topics before it inevitably reached the merger with Mercy-West.

Derek shook his head with undisguised misunderstanding, "Richard's gone crazy…all those qualified people he let go…today. Unbelievable…I tried to talk to him but he just wouldn't listen." Marc sighed, nodding, "Let's only hope…not more of us have to go." Lexie almost unnoticeably stiffened but Marc placed a hand on her shoulder, whispering something into her ear. She nodded at him softly, touching his cheek before she kissed him gently.

"If you don't mind…we're calling it a night," he declared, swallowing the remainder of his drink before setting the glass down and picking up his and Lexie's jacket.

"You might want to consider taking your girlfriend home too, doctor Hunt," Marc grinned as he pointed at Cristina who was dancing on one of the tables.

"I guess you're right," Owen grinned as he watched Cristina.

Marc and Lexie turned to leave, a chorus of goodbyes behind them. Meredith smiled as her sister walked away with Derek's best friend. _Those two really had found each other_.

"Can I order you one more?" Derek said as he leaned closer to Meredith.

"I…I…w..want o…one," Cristina slurred as Owen led her back to the table.

"Oh…no," Owen grinned quickly, "I'm afraid you've had one too many!"

"Geez…loosen up. We have somethin' to c..celebrate." Cristina turned to Meredith for support but she simply shrugged and smiled.

"F…fine!" Cristina sighed, picking up her glass and downing it in one gulp before grabbing Owen's hand to wobble to the exit. Derek and Meredith watched the couple in amusement. Derek definitely liked Cristina more when she let loose a little, had a few drinks in her, he thought amusingly then he turned to Meredith, searching her warm, eyes before leaning forward, "What do you say? We'll call it a night too?"

Meredith nodded before leaning forward to kiss Derek. The kiss started off passionate and slow; causing Derek's senses to tingle and goose bumps to shiver across his skin. He traced his tongue along Meredith's soft lips as she widened her lips, allowing him entrance to explore her mouth. His hand was tangled in her hair, the other curled around her waist, resting in the small of her back pulling her closer to his body. He only pulled away from Meredith when the need to breathe became too overwhelming to ignore.

"I wanna take you home." Derek said hoarsely, the intent in his voice sounding clear. Meredith knew exactly what he meant and a slight smile was playing on her lips as she nodded.

**………………….**

The fresh night air was a welcome relief after the warm bar. They walked along the sidewalk as Derek glanced beside him. He suddenly stopped to face Meredith and she looked up at him questioningly. Strands of her hair fell out of place and were animated by a breeze. She slowly raised her hand and put it on his cheek, "What?" she softly asked.

Derek could feel the warmth from Meredith's hand penetrate his skin. He smiled and pulled her to him, "Nothing…I just wanna tell you how much I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith smiled. Derek embraced her face and lifted her chin. She felt the smooth kiss come slowly but determinedly.

**………………….**

Derek unlocked the front door and pushed it open. Before they'd reached the stairwell, she was all over him; energy…pure energy and with one single kiss, she cooked him from the inside out. Slow and wet, the kiss turned rapidly stronger. Derek's imagination went crazy. Thoughts of stripping Meredith down to her skin and making love to her right there on the stairwell, swept over him like a wave. He wanted her and need rippled up his body in a hot charge. With a smile, he scooped her in his arms and carried her to their bedroom, realizing the bed was a whole lot more comfortable.

In the bedroom, he gently set her down, closing his arms around her and pushing his hands into her hair. Her mouth was tender and swollen from his kisses. Meredith's head started spinning, her blood was rushing and she sank into the dark, hot pleasure of Derek's mouth. She pushed her fingers into his thick, black hair and held on as Derek's lips and tongue played over hers with exquisite skill. A little moan escaped her which made him smile. Her hands ran over his thighs and a hard jolt of desire shot through him.

His mouth was suddenly everywhere…on her face, her lips and her throat. And when he dipped lower, Meredith closed her eyes. He zipped open her sweater, lifting her shirt and a second later, his mouth was roaming the swells of her breasts. He left a damp, tingling path behind and Meredith gasped for air.

"I want you," Derek softly whispered against her skin. He briefly met Meredith's gaze, before pushing her hair back and closing his mouth over hers again.

"God…do you know what you do to me?" Derek ground against her so she understood. Meredith's heart shot to her throat as she tangled her fingers in his hair.

Derek's heart was pounding so hard, it almost hurt; the rushing sound of his blood filling his ears. Meredith twisted against him and he gently pushed her towards the bed, pulling her onto his lap, after they'd gotten rid of their clothes. Meredith shifted, straddling Derek's thighs when he realized she was trembling a little. He broke the kiss, staring into her eyes. He caressed her breasts and her eyes slammed shut; her moans low and whimpering. Derek caressed her everywhere, ignoring the hard throb in his groin, pleasuring Meredith, watching her soft features, feeling every pulse of her skin beneath his fingertips. Meredith's features were smooth, patient as the sensations suddenly came to her. Derek's own arousal grew painful as he watched her rise to the summit. He saw the flare of her eyes, heard her breath skip as her feminine muscles flexed wildly. He kissed her and then released her trapped breath as she trembled in his arms. He held her tight and buried his face in the curve of her neck.

Skin against skin, Derek's arousal pressed to her softness and then his control slipped fast. His gaze flew to Meredith's, dragging her between his spread thighs, trapping her, kissing her deeply and trailing his mouth down her throat. Again and again, he nibbled and licked, his hand smoothing down her hip. Meredith smoothed the hard contours of Derek's chest and her mouth followed, her tongue slicking over his flat nipples. The heat of him pressed against Meredith's belly and she slowly closed her fingers around him. In a flash, he captured her wrist, meeting her gaze, his eyes almost black with desire. She smiled and slowly moved her hand up and down his shaft; Derek closed his eyes and gasped. Meredith sighed, tasting him and then Derek cracked. He dragged her onto his lap and spread her thighs around him, breaking her hold. As much as he was enjoying her touch, he couldn't take much more. He needed to be inside her. He slowly leaned forward, pushing Meredith onto her back, her golden hair spreading across the pillows. Derek trembled as the tip of him pressed to her softness. She was ready, writhing beneath him. Derek entered her with unforgiving slowness, smiling when she begged for more. He pushed further, filling her completely. Braced on his elbows, he stared down on her, smoothing her hair back and dropping a tender kiss on her forehead, "You're beautiful…you know that?"

When she softly moaned, Derek withdrew and plunged, her body closing tightly over his, capturing him. Feminine muscles flexed and clawed, and their tempo increased; a pumping madness that fused them with every stroke. Derek closely watched Meredith's eyes. He's often seen the look when she was near and every time, it stole his breath away.

Meredith thought she would break apart; her heart was pounding so fast. They danced in a quick rhythm; eyes locked on each other, tingling heat spiralling through her like a tornado. Then it came, the exhilaration only Derek could give her. The passion she'd waited to feel. His arousal throbbed inside her, slick muscle and tender skin quaking with pleasure and sending it streaming through her body. "Mmmm, Derek…Ah..I'm…"

"I know, baby, I feel it," Derek whispered hoarsely, his gaze locked with Meredith as his own climax roared up his spine like an animal cut loose from a cage. He threw his head back, shuddering, his body flexing against her like a bow strung too tight. She gripped his hips, pulling him harder to her, the pulse and throb thrashing them over and over until they never thought it would stop. It shattered them and tears filled her eyes, the shocking power of their loving leaving her weak and breathless. Derek peppered her face and hair with tender kisses before his mouth settled warmly on hers. When he caught his breath, he rolled to his back taking her with him, pulling her leg over his hip and keeping her close. She gazed into his soft blue eyes and smiled. "Thank you…God knows, I needed it!"

Derek grinned. You're welcome!

**………………….**

An annoying sound in Meredith's ears brought her wide awake. In the next heartbeat, the phone on the nightstand rang for the second time. She gently pushed Derek's arm away from her waist, reaching for the phone, "Hello?"

Meredith glanced at the alarm…4.13 A.M. A strange feeling went through her; only bad news would come in the middle of the night and this one definitely gave her an odd feeling.

"Lexie…what's wrong?"

Derek could vaguely follow the conversation between Meredith and Lexie. Something was wrong…very wrong. Meredith broke the connection and replaced the receiver back on the phone, staring straight ahead, her face pale as a sheet.

"Mer…what is it?"

"It's Thatcher," she stammered, his name winding through her chest, leaving behind bad memories, "He's been admitted…he coughed up blood. It's something with his liver."

"OK…I'll get dressed." Meredith nodded, taking in a deep breath; the last traces of sleepiness leaving her while she watched Derek walk into the bathroom. At the horizon, the sun was already rising…what would this day bring?

_More in the next episode..._


	12. Tainted Obligation Epilogue

**Tainted Obligation Epilogue**

The energised buzz in Seattle Grace Hospital was slowly winding down after visiting hours and the late staff was already setting everything up for the night when Derek walked back to his office and rapidly divested himself of his dark blue scrub shirt. As he pulled the drawstring of his scrub pants, he tossed a towel over his shoulder and retreated to the shower, pulling the curtain tight. He brushed his teeth and shaved before starting the water and stepping beneath the spray. The shower felt good…cleansing and refreshing but Derek took no time to enjoy it. He quickly washed and dried off. By the time he stepped back into his office, his cell was ringing and he raced to his desk to answer it.

"_Shepherd_!"

**….**

"Sure…tell her I'll be right there." Derek closed his cell and changed, putting on a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans and sneakers before leaving his office and hurrying to the surgical wing.

**….**

Derek stood outside Meredith's room glancing through the window. He silently watched her slightly pale form lying on the large hospital bed, wires and machines attached to her. Her eyes were still closed as he entered and slowly laid himself onto the large bed next to her.

"Is Lexie gone?" Meredith's voice sounded softly.

"She's with your dad," Derek whispered in return. He propped up on one elbow and gazed down upon the woman he called his wife now. Her face, always so beautiful was now slightly pale. He smiled tenderly before pressing a kiss on her forehead and running a hand through her curly, blonde hair. That was what he'd fallen in love with first…five years ago. That long, curly blonde hair that smelled like flowers; emerald, she had called it.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" Derek asked worried as Meredith opened her eyes to look at him.

"I…I think it hurts more…to know that I'm in pain…because of something…so…so…," Meredith put her face in her hands. Without thinking, Derek put an arm around her shoulder, trying to ease her trembling frame.

"Hey…you saved your father's life tonight…and that's great," Derek soothed her. Meredith made a funny sound like a muffled laugh. "Yeah…but now I probably will be cut from the program because of the…merger." By now Meredith was definitely on the verge of tears.

"Mer…Richard won't cut you. You're an excellent surgeon. He would be stupid to let _you_ go." Despite her mood and pain, Meredith's heart soared by his words. She leaned over and hugged him, "thank you," she whispered.

Her hair smelled like lavender and Derek smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek.

"Ouch."

"Oh…I'm sorry," Derek said as he pulled away.

"It's OK…I guess I simply forgot I've donated half my liver," Meredith smiled at him.

"You know what I will miss most," Derek pouted, "…holding you in my arms during the night." Meredith sighed and a single tear glistened in the corner of her eye as she nodded, "Me too," she whispered.

Derek swallowed hard but then leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Meredith's forehead, "I'm sure doctor Bailey won't mind if I stay here during your first night," Derek smiled. Meredith nodded and Derek gently took her in his arms, careful not to hurt her stomach. Meredith shifted in his arms, trying to find the best fit. When she had found her most comfortable position, she closed her eyes with a satisfying sigh. Derek smiled and after a while, Meredith's even breaths indicated she was deep asleep.

**….**

Derek gently lifted Meredith's right arm carefully removing it away from his body. Holding his breath, he slid to the edge of the bed before getting off it with a soft thud. He froze and glanced back at Meredith but she was still sleeping soundly. When he sat down in the chair next to Meredith's bed, to give her more comfort, the door to her room opened. Miranda Bailey stepped inside quietly closing the door behind her, grimacing, "Why do I not find it strange finding you in here," she whispered.

Derek shrugged while a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, "she is _my_ wife," he simply stated.

Bailey chuckled, "Do you think you'll ever marry her for real?" Derek sighed, before glancing back at Meredith then looking up at Miranda, "It feels real to us…and that's all that matters!" The expression on Derek's face was so tender, so caring, Miranda suddenly understood what he meant; Meredith Grey truly was the love of his life.

"You're a good guy, Derek," Miranda smiled down at Derek as she took Meredith's chart and made some notes in it.

When she saw his sombre expression, she leaned forward and wrapped his hand in both of her small ones, "Why the gloomy face," she asked.

Derek sighed, "I'm tired…that's all," he replied, favouring Bailey with a crooked smile.

"You can't fool me, Derek Shepherd. What's going on with you?"

Derek was silent for a long moment; his head down and his face tilted away, leaving Bailey unable to read the expression on his face.

"I'm so worried about her," Derek said softly, "not because of the surgery. You did a wonderful job…but the thing with her dad. She has changed so much…I don't want him to hurt her anymore than he's already done."

Miranda didn't reply merely squeezed Derek's hand slightly, trying to impart some kind of reassurance. After a long moment of mutual silence, filled by the various electronics of hospital machinery, Miranda softly said, "You're right. Meredith has changed. She's strong with you by her side and I don't think you will let anyone hurt her anymore. And what goes for her dad? Maybe this will change his life around…and he and Meredith have a chance at a real father-daughter relationship!"

Derek still looking away from Bailey just nodded his head, "I hope you're right Miranda. I hope you're right." Derek dropped his eyes down, focusing intently on the blankets. After a moment, he whispered, "…I love her so much."

"I know." All business again, Bailey grabbed the clipboard from the side of Meredith's bed and headed out the door. Derek sat beside Meredith, trying not to think of anything at all, staring blankly at the walls around him. So much had happened on this day.

After a moment, he felt a hand on his and he caught a whiff of a familiar flowery scent. Turning around, he saw Meredith looking at him, her eyes so peaceful; it was as if all his worries disappeared like snow in the sun.

"Hey," he softly whispered, "Have we woken you?"

A slight blush crossed Meredith's pale cheeks as she lifted Derek's hand and pressed a soft, tender kiss on it.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop," she began, "…but I heard everything you said."

"Oh," Derek coughed nervously.

Meredith smiled, holding Derek's hand in her lap, "You're so sweet," she whispered. "You don't have to be afraid that my dad will hurt me. I won't let him…and I'm sure Lexie will give him hell if he pulls some of that drinking crap again."

Derek grinned, 'I'm sure she will."

"Derek?"

"Hmmm?"

"Will you kiss me?"

His eyes narrowed but then he dipped his head closer to Meredith. His lips hovered over hers, but he didn't kiss her. Meredith smiled.

"Are you sure you're up to it," he asked amusingly, "you've just had major surgery!|

Meredith nodded her head, "Yes!"

Derek brushed his cheek lightly against Meredith's and she closed her eyes momentarily. Derek smelled so clean, so fresh…so good. Meredith lifted her head the slightest bit, yet it was enough to touch her mouth fully to his.

Derek's mouth claimed her, tender yet possessive. Meredith closed her eyes and surrendered completely.

Love was definitely the best medicine!

_More in the next episode..._


	13. Give Peace A Chance Epilogue

**Give Peace A Chance Epilogue**

_Ask surgeons why they became surgeons and they usually tell you the same thing; it was for the high; the rush; the thrill that comes from cutting someone open and saving their life! For me…it was different. Maybe it was because I grew up in a house with four sisters…no…definitely because I grew up in a house with four sisters because it was the quiet that drew me to surgery. _

_Ask surgeons why they became surgeons, they usually tell you the same thing; the high; the rush; the thrill of the cut. For me? It was the quiet__! Peace isn't a permanent state; it exists in moments, fleeting…gone before we even knew it was there. We can experience it at any time, in a stranger's act of kindness. A task enquires complete focus or simply the comfort of an old routine. Everyday we experience these moments of peace; the trick is to know when they're happening so that we can embrace them…live in them…and finally let them go!_

_Quote by Derek Shepherd_

Today had been utterly perfect. A confident smile curled Derek's lips as he gazed up at Meredith's window where dim lights proved she was still awake. He meant perfect in the sense that his head was overflowing with the electricity of everything that had happened and that it had been absolutely one-hundred percent the way it should have been. A feeling of utter exhilaration rose up in him as he hurried to unlock the front door.

"_Derek…is that you_?" Meredith's sweet voice echoed through the quiet house.

Sensing impatience in her voice, Derek couldn't help but grin, "I'll be right up," he assured her while trailing into the kitchen. He yanked the refrigerator door open, spilling several items on the floor.

"_Crap_!" Derek scowled. He picked the fallen objects up, stuffing them back into the fridge before grabbing what he was looking for. The stairs creaked as he took them two by two, hurrying to Meredith's bedroom. He entered the cosy room carrying a bottle of Champagne and two flute glasses. He smiled tenderly at her, thrilled as her soft giggle filled the room. He sighed lightly, "Ohhhmmm," as he settled next to her, tenderly kissing her cheek. His tired muscles instantly relaxed as he rested his head on her shoulder, revelling in the sweet scent of her lavender conditioner.

"OK…I heard almost everything from Cristina but I wanna hear your version…so start from the beginning and tell me everything!" Meredith began.

Derek's lids felt so heavy and no matter how hard he struggled, he couldn't even manage to lift a finger anymore. Meredith's words were echoing somewhere in his consciousness just before a deep, relaxing sleep overtook him.

"Derek?"

"_Derek_?"

The sound of the popping cork made a welcoming sound but Meredith carefully placed the bottle on the nightstand before turning to look at Derek. His breaths were deep and even and his lips were slightly parted. She carefully freed her arm from under him and then tenderly brushed a thick lock from his face. Biting her bottom lip, she slipped out of bed, padding quietly to his side. She spared him a quick glare as she set to untying his shoes and carefully sliding them off his feet. His socks followed a few seconds later and finally she was able to slide his pants off without waking him. She carefully drew an extra blanket over him before climbing into bed next to him, resting her hand lightly on his chest. She glanced at him and smiled. Derek was a picture of restful bliss, his arms resting underneath his head and his face relaxed and smooth, his breaths measured. Unable to resist, she reached forward and ran a gentle finger along his cheek, tracing an imaginary line from his eyebrow to his mouth. Derek moaned softly, turning his face into her hand. Meredith smiled and scooted closer to him. She took a moment to admire his peaceful expression. For a man, Derek had very delicate eyelashes; long and darkly contrasting to the light skin of his face. She trailed her finger down along his jaw, tracing his lips but as Derek moved, she quickly retracted her hand, not wanting to wake him. Derek slid one hand beneath his cheek and swung the other around to rest on his hip. Meredith leaned back but after a while she realized Derek was still deep asleep as his even breathing continued. Leaning closer, she softly kissed his cheek before turning on to her other side, picking up the novel of Anna Karenina for the sixteenth time.

**……………**

When Meredith woke up, it was still dark outside although the moon was casting silvery gleams into the room. She sighed deeply and then turned toward Derek. He was still asleep and she could hear his deep, even breaths. His arm was stretched out lazily and his fingertips were touching her shoulder. She wanted nothing more than to cuddle up in his arms but she hesitated. He'd been exhausted after that long surgery…shouldn't she better let him sleep? By now Meredith realized how much she yearned for Derek's touch.

She slowly moved toward him, carefully laying her head on his chest. His arm was still stretched out and after a few seconds she could hear his heart beating; its sound silent and calming. Her head was slowly rising up and down, following the rhythm of his breathing. Meredith smiled and then glanced up at Derek's face. His eyes were shut and the brief light from the moon made his long eyelashes cast fine shadows on his cheeks. She lifted herself up until her face was at the same level as his. She sighed but then leaned closer until their lips met.

Derek awoke with a jolt and his eyes fluttered open, turning his gaze up into Meredith's smiling face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly. "I couldn't resist. I know you need your sleep but…," Derek moaned but then lifted his head, rewarding her with the softest of kisses. Mouths closed lips simply rubbing, pressing, and feeling each other…endlessly. Finally Meredith parted her mouth in invitation, letting Derek's tongue slide in, tasting her. The tip of her tongue also slipped out to meet his. They had kissed like this a million times but now her belly quivered and her breasts grew tight with its perfection. Meredith closed her eyes and sank into the moment. As if sensing the heat growing inside her, Derek pulled back. Meredith opened her eyes and found Derek staring up at her swollen lips. In an instant, he rolled her over, untying the belt of her wrap, letting it ease across her skin. When she was bare, he didn't stare at her breasts but instead pulled her towards him until his lips settled in the little hollow at the base of her throat. His tongue darted out and swirled in a delicious circle as his lips tenderly caressed. Meredith moaned softly as all feelings in her entire body focuses on that particular spot. His fingers swept her long, curly hair aside and kept kissing her neck until she relaxed fully into him, letting him pull her under him.

When Derek paused for a moment, his eyes swept over Meredith's breasts, waiting for his touch, the gentle curve of her belly, quivering in readiness and for a second settling on her sweet, curly hairs that hid how ready she really was for him then his gaze moved up to meet hers. The desire she saw in his darkened eyes made all her earlier hesitations fade; Derek wanted her as much as she wanted him.

"Derek…please," Meredith whimpered. She arched her back, lifting her chest toward him, needing him to ease the ache that grew within. Derek touched her softly, the touch of the pads of his fingers sweeping upwards in slow spirals from the base of her breasts upwards. Her aching, hard nipples were impatient for his touch, but still he teased her.

Meredith fought the urge to grab his hair and pull his head towards her, to bring his lips, his sweet mouth to her. Instead, she tightened her fingers in the linen so tightly; she could almost feel the weave tear. Finally, Derek's fingers reached the tight peaks; his caresses sending quivers through her like a string of a violin. She sighed, closing her eyes, knowing what was coming; Derek sucked, he gently bit, he laved and then he soothed. Finally when she couldn't bear no more, she gently pushed him back. Their gazes met and held. Derek shifted, bringing his hips over Meredith's, pressing his erection in the valley between her legs, but pushing no further.

Meredith swallowed hard, knowing Derek felt her heat, but he gave no signal beyond a tightening of his fingers and a sharp intake of breath. She eagerly lifted her hips, opening her legs more, granting him access but Derek just smiled. The tip of his erection pushed against her and when Meredith writhed beneath him, it brushed the bundle of nerves that were the centre of her longing. A soft moan escaped her and she raised and lowered her hips again, running herself to him, sending shivers of desire through both of them. Derek's jaw was clenched with the effort not to move and his arms quivered with the strain.

"_Derek_?"

Meredith lifted her head, kissing his neck, the stubble of his beard, until she reached his mouth.

That was his cue. He knelt, their eyes met and their souls merged as he was inside her with one stroke. Meredith's whole body trembled as Derek started thrusting, taking her with him to a higher cliff. Fast…slow, he knew all her rhythms, her secret spots and deepest desires. She closed her eyes and moaned, letting herself slip into that place where only sensation mattered. When the wave finally crashed, she cried out his name.

Derek felt her climax around him, her every pulse surrounding him, blinding him, making it almost impossible to maintain control. Sweat prickled on his forehead and he bit his bottom lip. He felt her convulse again and allowed himself to come. He knew, he screamed, so intense was the pleasure, the release but even as he circled back to earth, all he knew was Meredith; the feel of her, the look of her and the sweet scent of her. Meredith Grey was his world.

He collapsed beside her, pulling her into his arms, enjoying her softness. She lay with her hair spread wide across the pillow, her eyes half closed in satisfaction. Her lips; swollen and chafed from his kisses, curved in a tender smile as she felt his glance. Her hand reached over and caught his. She pulled it down and filled his palm with small kisses. If only, he could close his hand and keep them safe for always.

"I love you Derek," her voice was deep and ready for sleep. He smiled, moving over, curving her body against his. She shifted and laid her head on his shoulder, treating his neck to those same small, tender kisses.

Derek brought his arms around her, "I love _you_," he whispered into her hair. Meredith smiled and Derek pulled her even tighter, kissing the crown of her head then a shadow flew across his face and he softly whispered, "Mere…Richard fired me!"

"What?"

**……………**

_More in the next episode..._


	14. I Like You So Much Betterepilogue

**Author's note: Normally I don't read stories on the but there was one story that caught my eye. This story is written by the very talented 'Single Scotch Double Malt'. She writes the story as if she's Meredith herself and I must say, there was something I liked about that. I've written the next epilogue in the same way and I really hope you like it. Please read the epilogue to 'I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked' and let me know how you feel about it. Always loving your comments ;-)**

**Epilogue "I like you so much better when you're naked"**

I'm lying in bed, staring at the ceiling because my brain just won't stop spinning long enough to let me get my ever so needed sleep. Why is it that I cannot stop thinking about what I cannot change anymore? Derek went to the board and told them about the Chief's drinking problem and now on top of it all; he also blames me for choosing ambition over…_whatever_. A small sigh escapes from between my lips but I'm determined not to cry. As I try to concentrate on breathing in and out, I hear a deep sigh coming from _his_ side but I'm too stubborn to say; "hey…I'm right here"! Derek's just one touch away from me but it feels like we're light years apart. Suddenly, I feel the mattress shift as he gets out of bed. I listen to his footsteps as he heads off into the bathroom; the lifting of the toilet seat echoing against the tiles and then the sound of running water. When he returns a moment later, I hear him whisper my name, "_Meredith_?"

I want him to shut up. No…I want him to talk. I want us to make up; back, forth; push, pull. I'm aware of how pathetic I must look…curled up on my side of the bed but I cannot help it; I'm too angry. I don't reply but pretend to be asleep. The message to him is that I'm sleeping restfully, unbothered by his words.

Derek's getting back in bed; I can feel his weight. For a moment, I hope he reaches over and touches me but no words or a touch passes between us.

Do you remember how I felt after George died? That same terrible fear comes rushing over me again; George is dead; Izzie is leaving, I'm fighting with Derek...my whole world seems to fall apart. A lump develops in my throat and my eyes start stinging as tears form. I grit my teeth as I wipe a tear from my cheek but I cannot stop an involuntary sob that escapes my throat. Startled, I hold my breath but the deep and regular breaths coming from beside me; betray that Derek's sound asleep.

I carefully roll onto my back to look at him. His face is pressed sideways into the pillow; eyes closed, his lashes throwing dark shadows on his cheeks. I want to touch him or kiss him or something… but I can't. I feel either he will freak out or I will. After a moment of inner conflict, I throw back the covers and slip out of bed. Immediately, the cold is getting the best of me and all I really want to do is hide in the darkness of my bedroom, staying tucked in bed in my warm pajamas trying to sleep off this awful feeling but instead I carefully push down the door handle and slip into the hallway.

As I step into the kitchen, I find Lexie sitting at the table under the dim light of the bulb, carefully turning the pages of a newspaper.

"What are you doing up at this time of night?" I whisper quietly.

"I'm…I'm alone…," tears start to form immediately into her already puffy eyes, "I'm looking for my own place. I can't go back to dad and Marc…well; _he can't even look at me anymore_!"

Lexie looks up and our eyes meet. "Have you told him?" I ask. Lexie looks away, a sad look in her eyes, "Marc slept with Addison! I was so relieved at first…I thought we were even but Mere…he was so angry. I…I don't understand. Was my sleeping with Alex so much worse than his with Addison?"

I slowly shake my head, a watery smile on my lips as I reply, "You both made mistakes. I'm sure there must be a way that you can patch things up?" Now, she really starts sobbing; her body shaking violently. My heart aches for her. I can see her pain. Without thinking I wrap my arms around her. My mind is swimming with endless thoughts of life; thoughts of love and memories of laughter and joy. All of it seems gone. To love and to be loved is such a precious thing. Everyone craves it and everyone fights for it. I close my eyes while I hold my sister and then I'm crying too. I feel as if I'm loosing control. Lexie pulls back from me and puts her hands on either side of my face, "Hey…what's with you?"

I'm sobbing loudly, my chest is heaving. I cannot breathe much less speak. I slowly shake my head. While I clasp my hands in front of my face, I cry and shudder and heave for I don't know long.

"_Meredith_?"

I hear Derek whisper in my ear. I flinch and shut my eyes tight. I can't believe Lexie woke him but she must have thought I had an anxiety attack…or something.

"Look at me." I shake my head and bury my face in my hands. I can't stop crying. I feel him lift me into his arms but struggle against him. I don't want to leave the kitchen.

"Shhh…Meredith calm down." Derek tries to soothe me while he holds me closer to his chest. "I'm just taking you upstairs." Derek starts walking; up the stairs, down the hallway and then I find myself being gently deposited on the bed. I quickly turn over, facing away from him. I feel the bed dip next to me and Derek's hand tenderly running through my hair.

"Mere…please, look at me?" he insists. I shake my head and hold my eyes tightly closed. I feel how he wraps his arms around me and pulls me to his chest, cradling me like a child.

"L…let go of me Derek," I beg, crying uncontrollably. He tries to soothe me but his actions just make me feel worse.

"Not before you tell me what's going on. You can't be this upset because we had a fight!" he demands.

I try to pull away from his grip again but he pulls me closer to him.

*** * ***

The sun peeks already through the curtains when I wake up. I sit up and scan the room. No Derek. I must have fallen asleep. Last thing I remember was being cradled in his arms while he soothed me. I sigh and decide to get an early start. I slip into the bathroom and slowly undress. Climbing into the shower, I set the temperature to a lukewarm before stepping under the spray; the shower is relaxing. Then I hear how the bathroom door opens and I close my eyes. When I open them again, I find Derek standing in front of me. He tilts his head and softly says, "Good morning".

Taking in a deep breath, I mumble back, "Morning." Although I don't want to, I cannot stop the tears that start running freely down my face again. I lean against the tiles and close my eyes. Suddenly, the water is being shut off and I feel how a towel is wrapped around my body.

"Breathe Mere…take a deep breath. Come on…open your eyes," I hear Derek's voice floating through my mind and will my eyes open. My traitorous heart thumps rapidly in my chest and although I don't want to, I melt into his body that is holding me. We stand still, simply breathing in and out than I look up at him and our eyes bore into each other's. I don't know how long but I suddenly notice Derek is staring at my lips. My breathing stops but he simply leans forward and places a kiss on the corner of my mouth. Whimpering unhappily, I take a deep breath and raise my eyebrows, "Don't…I'm still angry with you!"

"I'm sorry Meredith," I hear him whisper in my ear; "…I love you!" I swallow the initial impulse to push him away. Instead, I take a deep breath and wrap my arms around his neck. I love him…Derek's my husband and I don't have to hide my feelings for him.

"I love you too", I hesitantly whisper, "Let's talk later…now I just want your arms around me!"

With a groan, Derek's hands travel to my waist, pulling at my towel in a lustful matter. I feel a solid surface hitting my back and I'm not sure what it is. It feels like a brick wall but I don't care at this moment; I'm too busy with Derek's lips to even acknowledge the world around me. He pulls away from me and smiles, "I'm gonna show you how much I love you," he whispers.

"I'm still angry with you," I tell him but press my naked body against him. His beautiful, blue eyes stare into mine and I feel his hand on my hair. I want to kiss him again. I want to pull him close and never let go.

"I never meant to hurt you." Derek's voice is barely above a whisper.

"I know," I say through my tears. I know I've cried a lot but I don't care anymore. Derek is my husband and he is allowed to see my pain. He softly brushes away a tear with his thumb and then leans down to kiss me. His lips feel like fire. I feel him moan against my lips and he pushes me harder against the wall. I grab his hair and pull him closer to me. When he leans back slightly from me, I see a smoldering fire in his eyes. Without saying a word, he slides open the shower door and pushes me inside. He quickly gets rid of his clothes and steps inside, closing the door behind us. A narrow waterfall of warm water comes down on us when he pulls me into his arms and kisses me again. The beads of water collect and combine, to trickle down my body. Against my thigh I feel Derek's arousal rising up hard and long. It electrifies me, making the light, downy hairs on the back of my neck rise up. When I look down I see Derek's hands on my knees, running up the length of my thighs, parting my legs. He smiles at me and softly licks the inside of my thigh. I close my eyes and softly moan; "the thing with the bending!" Moan after moan rumbles from me as he plays with me but I also sense a building urgency in his touch, in his breathing, in the way his tongue washes over me. He nuzzles my shaking legs even wider apart. When he first did this to me, I lost all control. I lost it time after time and I guess that is why he loves doing 'the bendy thing'. Soon my gasping mouth goes dry and I try to wriggle away from him; escape what he's doing to me. But Derek holds my hips in a firm grasp and continues his sweet assault. My heart pulsates wildly…time to beg.

"Please Derek…I…I can't…."

"You can!"

"No…it's too much. Mmm…ahhh…I'm coming."

I hear him chuckle and then he gazes hungrily at me. He rises and turns me around, pushing me against the tiled wall. Then he swirls the tip of himself at my opening and slowly guides himself inside, pushing tenderly but insistently. He now, is too shaking. I gasp, lifting my head back to take a shuddering breath as the movement of the two of us sends a pleasure I can barely describe through me. Derek's pace steadily increases and I feel the weight of his hands on my hips as he helps me keep the satisfying rhythm. His hard shaft is moving within me, his sweat-beaded skin against my back. My breasts bounce with his moves and he reaches up to caress them. The tension starts to rise, soaring higher and higher, making me feel as if I'm about to explode before I reach that wonderfully, draining release. I cry out his name while our rhythmic movements become almost desperate.

_**At last, I see stars…**_

Derek thrusts hard into me, caught in the moment of my release. I'm feeling the waves of pure bliss that leave him shuddering and me lightheaded. Then I feel his strong arms around me and he presses his forehead against my hair. I turn around and he lifts his hand to cup my cheek and gently stroke my face with his thumb. He presses his lips on mine, soft, warm and delicate and in the back of my mind, I smile…_I'm being loved…and that's all that is important_!

The end...

**Let's all hope some of the above happens in the next episode 'State Of Love And Trust'.**


	15. Valentine's Massacre

**Valentine's Day Massacre Epilogue**

_The surgical scalpel is made of sterilized, carbonized, stainless steel. This is a vast improvement of the first scalpel which was pretty much a sharp stick. Medicine is constantly re-inventing itself that means surgeons have to be re-inventing themselves too. There's constant pressure to adapt to changes…it can be a painful process but without it you find yourself moving backwards instead of forwards. __Sometimes the changes are forced on us…sometimes they happen by accident, and we make the most of them. We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves so…we change, we adapt! We create new versions of ourselves; we just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last!_

_Quote by Meredith Grey_

* * *

When I entered the ballroom of the Andover Hotel, morning had already begun to break and by its light I saw Derek standing near the open doors that lead into the dining room. He was totally surrounded by suits and costumes, shaking his hand, trying to get into his good graces but to me…he seemed a bit lost. After a while, he looked up, gathering a polite smile on his handsome face once more when he discovered me amongst the crowd. Immediately, his mouth broke into a broad smile and he kissed me on my cheek, "Hey," he whispered, "You didn't have to come."

"Hi…I know I didn't. I choose to." I softly said to him. I felt his hands against my cheeks as he briefly cupped my face, then he took my hand, "Show you in?"

Now there was no escape possible; taking in a deep breath, I let Derek guide me into the dining room when suddenly my eyes fell upon the announcement board next to the doors. The shock of the words dropped my mouth open and I stared up at Derek in awe as the words slowly sank in: _Dr. and Mrs. Derek Shepherd_!

**…**

"_Mrs. Shepherd_?" My voice sounded shrill as I yelled the words loudly through the car.

"I know!"

"Mrs. Shepherd?" I repeated making the sound of my voice less shrill, while pulling my scrub shirt over my head which was difficult enough because the car was moving.

"I know," Derek said again.

"I don't do brunches. I don't miss surgeries and I don't do Valentine's Day," I muttered under my breath but then I caught Derek's glance in the rearview mirror. His deep blue eyes showed a mischievous glint and my heart just melted in my chest. I leaned closer to his back and sinfully whispered, "You're gonna have to make this up to me with a lot of sex!"

"Yes dear," he softly whispered. I turned to look at him, my heart fluttering in my chest. Our eyes met again in the rearview mirror and once again, I felt flutters. By now, I was about to ravish him when he pulled into his private parking place and we were back at the Hospital! I had to suppress an annoyed groan as images of Derek loving me, flooded my brain. Crap…_**he**_ had way too much power over me. All he had to do was smile in a certain way, crinkle up his beautiful blue eyes and all I wanted was that perfect little ass of his!

"_You're staring_."

I jerked my eyes up to Derek's when he opened the door on my side. They were crinkled a little at the corners and I hated what that did to my lower belly.

"I am not," I mumbled slightly embarrassed. I licked my dry lips, suddenly noticing Derek watched the motion of my tongue. Without warning, he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me in tight and crushing my mouth beneath his own. I was instantly aware of the heat of his lips, the taste of his tongue, the hardness of his chest against my breasts and the enticing ridge of his manhood against my lower belly. My backside bumped back against the car but I was grateful for the support. I sank my fingers into his perfect hair to anchor myself to him and savored the heat of his mouth. I was completely lost in him when I heard him mumble, "This is no good."

I blinked, confused. It sure seemed 'good' to me,

"What isn't?" I said absently. By now, I really wanted Derek; his lips, shoulders, chest, back and…ass.

*** * ***

Making sure, no one was around; I followed Derek into his office. After closing the blinds, I hastily started unbuttoning his shirt. When his shirt was gone, I unzipped his pants, pulling them down to his ankles. Derek on the other hand, quickly pulled my scrub shirt over my head and reached down to pull down my scrub pants and panties. Needing no words between us, Derek hauled me against his chest and brought his lips down onto mine. I tightened my arms around his neck, needing to be even closer, wanting to feel him across every line of my body. His arms circled my waist and ran across my back. I shivered, whether from cold or desire I don't know, but it made him pause and pull back the slightest bit.

"God…Mere, I want you so much right now!"

"I want you too. Kiss me!"

Derek's lips came crashing back to mine without a moment's hesitation. In the next instance, he brought me down to the floor without even breaking our kiss…his freaking office floor! But by now I didn't care. I wouldn't have cared if it was dirt of mud, I was with my husband and all I wanted to do was kiss him. The floor was hard…very hard but I only felt it for a little bit. Once Derek had lain on top of me, I felt nothing. His right hand was holding my leg up against him while his other hand cleared a strand of hair away from my face. Trapped in his embrace, I peered into his eyes…and simply drowned. Time stopped as he laid a hand on my cheek, his fingers gliding over my skin and his eyes probing mine as though seeking something I couldn't define.

"I'm so in love with you," he softly said, "I can't imagine the rest of my life without you beside me!"

_Derek_. An overwhelming feeling swelled in my heart, clogging my throat and robbing my mind of words. "Let's make love," I finally whispered while blood rushed through my veins like molten lava. Derek tightened his grip on me and pulled me to him, plunging his tongue deep into my mouth. After a while, I felt his lips travel down to my neck and I moaned with every breath; my nipples stood out, pointed and alert. When his lips travelled over my neck and chest, my breath caught in my throat.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed. I felt him smile as his lips parted and his mouth travelled down one breast to my nipple. His tongue flicked out and he licked it fully. I moaned his name and he wrapped his lips around it, sucking hard but tender. My head tossed and turned from side to side but Derek wasn't finished with me. His fingers drifted over my stomach and down between my legs. I deftly cursed at how fast he moved…so eager. My breathing stopped as he slid one finger inside of me, spreading my wetness around. By now, I was gasping for breaths and I pleaded his name, "Derek...please!"

Then his fingers were moving in and out of me at a rapid pace and I closed my eyes; it felt so good. Derek's free hand travelled up to my breast and I couldn't stop my harsh breathing as his fingers moved and hand caressed, bringing me to my first orgasm. My mouth latched to his as the last waves of pleasure washed over me. When he withdrew, I gently took his face and pulled him closer to me. I looked into his eyes, "Derek," I said, placing a quick kiss on his lips, "You're my life…my best friend, my lover…my soul…_me_!" He cradled my face in one hand and kissed me fully with emotion pouring from the way he moved. I could have sworn I felt his lips quiver as my hands traced his back.

"Mmmm…Mere!"

We gazed deeply into each other's eyes as he pulled me even closer to him. His erection burned against my stomach and I encircled my arms around his neck. He slowly leaned forward and kissed me. I moaned under his touch. The kiss itself was long and slow and he took time to explore my mouth then he lifted me up slowly until his shaft was gently pressed against my entrance. I moaned when he grinded forward, rubbing himself against my most sensitive area. My legs desperately tried to clamp down, but the rest of his body blocked me. Derek continued to grind against me until he heard my small pleading whimpers. He began to increase the pressure, making me moan out his name. My hands knotted themselves in his hair when he finally thrust in quickly, savoring the taste of my skin and the scent of my hair. I lifted my hips to meet him and he entwined his fingers with mine as we rode the waves of pleasure together. His thrusts weren't gentle and they weren't sweet but I received each one with relish, always ready for the next one and eager for more. He guided his hand lower, beneath my belly and his fingers massaged me to another earth-shattering climax. When I came, he came moments after, the sounds of our mutual release filling his office. Finally, Derek collapsed on top of me and we both relished in the remnants of our desire. After a moment, I heard him whisper, "So?"

"So what?"

"Is this what you meant with a lot of sex?"

I giggled and whisked a kiss across his cheek, "It's a beginning!"

**…**

"Er Doctor Shepherd, you're needed...Whoa…CHIEF!" April entered Derek's office, a look of shock and horror on her face. Derek grabbed his shirt as he tried to cover us up as quickly as possible. April's flushed gaze went from Derek to me before she quickly darted out of the room, mumbling an excuse. Derek chuckled as he rose from the floor, grabbing his clothes and pulling them on. I shot an embarrassed look at him when I gathered my scrubs but he pinned me to the wall, my naked body pressed to his fully clothed one, "Don't worry," he softly said, "She won't tell!" Derek pulled back enough so he could gaze down at my flushed face. I looked up at him and he smiled that sexy smile again that always made me melt. Only this time, it was so tender, I trembled. He softly kissed me and the thought April, seeing us, disappeared like snow in the sun.

*** * ***

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My make-up was gone except for some black smudges beneath my eyes from the last traces of mascara. My (sex) hair was running all over town and I grimaced at my reflection. With a deep breath I made a quick decision; I needed a shower. I twisted the faucets on, letting the water mix in swirls. Stepping into the shower stall I let the warm water spray over my skin and I soon felt myself return into my body on earth again. After drying off with effort and slipping into a fresh pair of scrubs, I pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail and headed out towards the pit for a new day at Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital.

_To be continued in next weeks episode 'The Time Warp'._

* * *

**Author's note:**

**I hope you like my little epilogues. I really enjoy writing (and completing) an episode like the way it should have been; well in our heads at least ;-) Please comment if you want to. I always like reading your comments!**


	16. Time Warp Epilogue

**Time Warp epilogue**

It was a cold night. A gentle breeze blew softly through the trees surrounding the parking lot, making loose strands of my hair flutter around my face. I took in a deep breath, inhaling the cold, night air reaching for Derek's hand. It was warm and we weaved our fingers together.

"You OK?" He asked, tilting his face down to look at mine.

"Er…yeah." My reply came out softly then I added, "Yeah…I'm OK…I think. It's been kind of weird day today and I feel a slight headache coming on."

Derek's eyes found mine and there was concern in them. Our eyes locked for a moment and then I let mine wander sideways and then downwards.

Derek let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "Let's get you home then so I can fix you a nice, hot bath!"

* * *

The house seemed ominously quiet except for the music coming from the radio. I turned it off sighing loudly into the black atmosphere, not quite sure why I was suddenly in such a foul mood. Planting both feet on the floor, I rose and walked towards the kitchen. Opening a cabinet, I pulled out a shot glass, setting it on the counter top. The liquor was in the bottom cabinet and I pulled out a bottle of Tequila. I poured a glass and downed it in one, swift gulp before picking up the bottle and moving back into the living room. I set it down on the coffee table before lighting the wicks of a large white candle. I sat back on the couch, the shot glass between my fingers, looking into the flames as my mind slowly wandered away…

_I was completely alone in my room…no one was with me. Physically, I was fine but emotionally I was confused and angry at the world. Life was hard…terribly hard. My mom wasn't home…as usual…and my dad had left when I was only five. Now I was eleven and I surely didn't feel safe, loved or cared for…and then it suddenly hit me; I knew why I was in such a foul mood; Richard's memories about the Aids patient, he'd treated together with my mom had triggered something I thought I'd buried deep inside me. Crap…Richard and my mom's affair had sure of hell left a mark on me._

A dull throbbing pain started in the back of my head and I closed my eyes, slowly breathing in and out.

"_Mere_…_your_ _bath's ready_!" I heard Derek's muffled voice coming from upstairs. Startled, I opened my eyes and got up. I walked towards the stairs, lifting my tired legs and slowly working my way up the wooden case. Our bedroom was at the very end of the long hallway and I wondered why my mom had ever bought such a big house, just for the two of us. In the bedroom, I stripped out of my clothes and for a brief moment I stood naked in front of the mirror. I stared at my reflection and quickly wiped away the solitary tear that suddenly rolled down my cheek.

"Mere? Come on…the water's getting cold!"

Derek's words pulled me out of my reverie so I took in a deep breath before entering the bathroom. Inside there were candles burning all over and the air was warm and misty. Derek was sitting on the closed toilet by the tub, testing the heat of the water.

"It's just right! Get in," he said softly. I obliged, stepping in carefully and then sliding into the hot water. I sighed when I felt the heat seeping into me, relaxing my muscles.

"Is it good?" Derek slowly ran a wash cloth up and down my arms and I nodded. Closing my eyes, I desperately tried to clear away my tears but I couldn't help it; images of my past started forming in my head, like a video camera…

_Seeing my mom daily at Roseridge during my internship while she was suffering from Alzheimer's…I tried picturing her face; her eyes…blue, speckled with green, a small mouth, the corners turned downward a little…_

_George and I in the elevator, criticizing Izzie and Cristina because they had no time for us…poor George…now he was gone. I sure hope, he's OK, I thought miserably. _

_More thoughts…thoughts I never wanted to touch again…_

_My dad's face twisted in anger…anger towards me…his hand raised, ready to slap my face. I remembered the feeling of it…hard, fast, the hollow smack when it connected with its target…my cheek exploding and the force of the hit making me run…_

"Hey…what's going on?" Derek asked, startling me out of my little trance of thoughts. He was looking at me, genuine concern on his face and I realized I was crying silently.

"N…nothing," I lied, my voice shaking, trying to dismiss it all. I hastily wiped at the tear streaks on my cheeks.

Quietly, Derek dropped on his knees before the tub. He pulled my hands down and cupped my face in his hands, wiping away the tears that never seemed to end. I could just barely see him in the dimly, lit bathroom. His face was set in a seriously concerned expression but I couldn't help it; a new flood of silent tears flew down my face. I closed my eyes, desperately trying to stop them from coming.

My body started shaking uncontrollably. Derek put his arms around me, but after a while he let go of me. I barely noticed when his arms unwound from around me but they came back a second later. He picked me up, wrapped a large towel around me, and walked me back to our bedroom.

I curled up into the smallest ball when I felt him lower me onto the bed. All the images of my past had come pouring inside me and I couldn't stop the flow of tears that started. I cried for what seemed like hours and in the back of my mind I registered Derek's arms around me, cradling me like a small child, whispering soothing words.

Slowly, I felt my senses coming back to me and the first thing I noticed was; my crying had finally stopped. Derek's arms were wound around me, strong…but light at the same time.

"Are you OK?" Derek whispered a moment later, realizing I'd come back to reality. His thumb hesitantly caressed my cheek and his voice was filled with concern. I swallowed hard. My throat was dry…not as I'd been screaming but as I'd been hyperventilating.

"Mmm…I…I think so," I replied slowly, my voice trembling. Derek replied by pulling me even closer when I stretched my legs out.

Silence…

"I c…can't help it," I whispered minutes later, closing my eyes as another tear escaped my eye.

"Shhh…it's OK," Derek reassured me in a voice that had 'protective' written all over it, "Try to get some sleep!"

I realized I was exhausted and I closed my eyes, following Derek's instructions. Slowly, I felt my mind go blank and my exhaustion reached full capacity. I slowly drifted off to sleep, listening to the rhythm of Derek's constant heart beat and feeling the warmth of his body.

…

A few hours later, I woke up, still in Derek's arms. His head was resting on my back and he was deep asleep. I slowly lifted his arm off of me, not wanting to wake him. I slid out of bed, put on my bathrobe and tiptoed into the bathroom, looking in the mirror. There were bags under my eyes and they were bloodshot from all my tears. I turned on the faucet and washed my face to get rid of the dried tear stains and then I brushed my teeth.

"_Meredith_? Are you OK?" Derek stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

"I'm fine," I said softly but my voice cracked. He walked behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him, "Don't shut me out," he softly said, "What happened to you last night?"

I hesitated but then I remembered the post-it. Derek had a right to know…he was my husband so I started explaining everything to him…._everything_! How Richard's words had triggered memories I had buried deep inside me since my childhood... "…And that is why I couldn't stop crying yesterday night," I finished, tears now making their way down my cheeks again. Derek shook his head but rapidly closed the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him back, letting my tears soak through his shirt. "Good…just let it all out." Derek squeezed me tighter and pulled me closer to him and then I really started to cry. It got worse and worse until I was sobbing out loud, shaking like a leaf. I cried for half an hour straight, most of it coming from a place deep inside that I'd never touched before. I cried and cried until I'd nothing left to cry about. It felt like years and years of bottling things up just to let it loose in one big explosion, I couldn't hold back anymore and all that because of Derek's reintroduction of lecture day. But strangely enough, the pain I felt inside slowly began to subside. I could Derek whisper my name and I felt how an invisible weight seemed to have lifted from my chest. I looked up at Derek to see a slowly growing smile on his face, "Feeling better?" he whispered. I nodded and shyly smiled back, "Thank you."

"Any time...," Derek smiled, grabbing my hand and leading me back into the bedroom. I took off my bathrobe and Derek moved over to give me more space. I slid into bed and he pulled me close; resting his hand on my stomach.

_Silence…just both of our breathing filling the bedroom. _

After a while, I softly heard him whisper my name, "Mere? Are you asleep?"

"No…why?"

Derek sat up and his eyes were filled with so many emotions, I couldn't decide what they were but it all soon dawned on me as his lips landed on mine. But as soon as our kiss started, it also ended. Derek looked down, as he flushed with shame, "Forgive me …that was out of line." He looked up, his eyes filled with sorrow, "It's just…I've never loved you more than right in this moment. _You_…completely opening up to me…," Derek slowly shook his head, "…I love you so much," he said softly before looking away. I closed my eyes filling my lungs as far as I could and then I took his hand. I moved it down…slow…ran it along my collarbone and then down over my breast. I looked at him and let go of his hand. He was watching me, eyes smouldering, blinking slowly. A warm flush spread through me, rising until I felt it everywhere. Leaning down slowly, Derek kissed me again while his hand was still resting on my breast. I closed my eyes at the sensations generated by his closeness. Our kiss felt more intimate than ever before…

When we finally withdrew, Derek rested his cheek against my head and whispered against my hair, "I wanna show you my love." His arms tightened around my waist, pressing my softness against his body. I felt his heartbeat accelerate and a brush of heat as his hand slid up my bare back. I breathed in his delicious scent but then his hand stilled and he seemed to be holding his breath. Our eyes locked and his jaw was clenched tightly; I could see the muscles flexing. He reached out his hand and touched my cheek, raw desire flaring in his eyes. With a moan, he pulled me frantically against him. I reveled in the crush of our bodies, curling my arms around his neck. Heat touched every place within me as Derek pressed his lips firmly against mine. I opened my mouth to him, threading my fingers through his hair as I pulled him on top of me, kissing him back. I felt Derek's right hand travel down my back and his fingers made my nipples grow hard instantly…in fact, my whole body broke out in goose bumps as I felt the intensity of Derek's need to love me. I arched my head up as soon as his lips found the softness of my neck and throat. I rolled beside him and his right hand immediately travelled between my soft thighs.

"Touch me Derek…please…touch me," I whispered, pushing my body harder against him. His head dropped against my shoulder heavily and he moaned, "Are you ready?"

"Mmm…," I moaned while he ran his fingers up my leg, stopping as he touched my thighs right below my entrance. My thighs were wet and I could hear him moan again. I pushed my hips up against Derek's hand as he moved his fingers over me slowly.

"Derek…please," I whimpered, opening my legs further.

I heard his grin as he quickly kissed my earlobe, "Do you want me to touch you here?" He pushed a finger inside me and stroked me with the heel of his palm.

I nodded, my breathing ragged. I moaned again as his fingers moved over me…in me, agonizingly slow. I was falling apart under his movements. Derek's fingers were working magic for me and I closed my eyes. When his fingers stopped moving and he slowly pulled them out of me, I gasped for air. I started to protest but Derek kissed me, shutting me up. His eyes smiled at me, as he kissed down the length of my body, pressing my knees apart as he climbed between them. His lips grazed against my thighs again as his fingers stroked me gently …up and down…up and down, forming a soft circle in the process. I tangled my hands in Derek's hair, pulling him to me. He kissed up my leg, letting his tongue run along my wet flesh briefly, pulling back to watch my response. I arched my hips to him, moaning. I writhed underneath him and he looked up at me and smiled; watching my face as he pushed his tongue against me, swirling it around. My heard pressed back into the pillow, I was unable to focus on anything anymore but the feeling of his mouth on me. I felt my body climaxing immediately, warm…throbbing…numbness.

Derek nibbled my center of nerves, sucking it gently between his lips. His tongue pushed into me, then moved in fast circles around and around. He lapped at me…tasting; his tongue pressing against me as he slid two fingers inside again. He head moved side to side as he worked me…loved me.

My own head was thrashing against the pillow as Derek's strong arms held my legs down so he could pleasure me again and again. His moans against my body sent delicious vibrations down my legs and up my back, which arched at the feeling of his tongue in me, giving me and endless peak.

Derek knew my body so well…knew exactly how to touch me…how to make me moan. My heart felt like it was pounding in my chest and I loved him more than I could ever describe. He whispered my name, his fingers gripping my thigh or pushing deep into me. I could feel his arousal in his urgency, his hunger for me in his soft moans.

"Derek…please…mmm…oh…I need…"

"What do you need?" he asked as his lips moved over me again.

"You…," I moaned.

"God…yes," he groaned.

Before I could really register the absence of his mouth on me, he was already above me, pushing my legs further apart. He led out a long groan as he slowly pushed inside me. Derek kept a steady, firm rhythm as I caressed the contours of his chest, his ribs, his firm abdomen. I grabbed his ass and pulled him deeper into me, watching his face as he struggled to focus on mine. He moved in me for an eternity…slow…earthshaking thrusts and I came more than once. After I felt like we couldn't possibly remain conscious anymore, Derek's moans became jumbled.

"Mere…I…so good…ah…I love you Mere…so much…Oh God!"

He pushed deep and exploded in me, his back arching, and his climax seeming to last for minutes. Finally he collapsed, deliciously heavy on top of me.

Derek gasped for several minutes, softly in my ear, "…Oh mere!"

I shivered all over…heavy with love for him. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his trembling shoulder.

"You're my husband!" I murmured against him.

"Forever yours!" he smiled back.

5


	17. Sympathy For The Parents Epilogue

**Author's note: Well...since some of you were so disappointed I didn't write an epilogue on the last episode, I finally caved in. I guess you were right...there was a story in 'Sympathy For The Parents'. I hope you like the epilogue and I promise to divide my time between writing updates for 'a Lost Dream' and your epilogues. Hey...it's what gets you through these weeks without new eppisodes. **

**Wishing you all a nice day!**

**McJinx**

**Sympathy For The Parents Epilogue**

_Psychologists believe that every aspect of our lives...all are about prosthesis. And behavior patterns are the direct result of our relationship to our parents; that every relationship that we have is really just another version of that first relationship. It's just us, trying over and over again…to get it right! _

_It's the most important job in the world. You probably should need a life to do it but most of us wouldn't even pass the written exam. Some people are naturals; they were born to do it. Some have other gifts but the good news is…biology dictates you don't have to do it alone. You can't waste your whole life wondering. But the only way to find out what kind of parent you'd be is finally stop talking about it…**and just do it**!_

**_Quote by Meredith Grey_**

Derek turned on his heel and walked down the hallway, getting on the elevator. He pushed the button and stopped on the fourth, surgical floor where he proceeded down a long sterile hallway. This part of the hospital had white walls, white ceilings and the floor was a speckled green lino which coated most of the Hospital's floors. He stopped just short of a double swing door with the words **'Intensive Care Unit' **printed across the front. He slowly pushed the doors open and entered the unit, almost immediately spotting Richard outside the patient's room. The first thing Derek noticed was the pallor of the woman's skin; it had turned an ashen gray and it was evident she'd passed away hours ago. Her husband was still sitting next to her bed though, holding his wife's cold hand, and probably wondering the time he'd held such a cold hand before or… remembering his first, true love…remembering how he'd panicked when she fell ill and how hard he'd hoped everything would be alright…but it hadn't and now it was all over.

"Hey," Derek's voice came out in barely a whisper.

Richard gave him a slight nod. For a second all was quiet…and then, "_Were you checking up on me in that surgery today_?"

"No…I wasn't checking up on you. I was observing…you know that's the closest I get to an OR these days," Derek sighed wearily.

"I'm gonna choose to believe you on that," Richard said, a small smile gracing his face.

"Hmmm."

Both, lost in thought, they watched the grieving husband, then Richard softly said, "They were married for thirty-two years."

"There was nothing you could have done," Derek soothingly said while he glanced sideways at his former mentor, realizing Richard was deeply struck by the woman's untimely demise. Richard clenched his jaw but said nothing.

Derek turned, "I'm going home…_to my wife_. You should do the same thing!" He encouragingly patted Richard's shoulder.

Without another word or a backward glance Derek strode out of the ICU while April cocked her head to skim a slow glance over him. Black jeans molded to his hips and thighs like a second skin and a blue shirt and sweater following the sculpted contours of his muscled chest and broad shoulders. He was still wearing his white Doctor's coat but thinking of what was underneath it, almost took her breath away. Fire shot through her and turned the need to touch him into a craving for flesh on flesh. She felt herself blushing as she gazed into his blue eyes but he ignored her and she felt a twitch of disappointment low in her stomach. She swallowed hard, her eyes already starting to well up. She sniffed, keeping herself steady. _I love him…screw Lexie's lecture_. April sniffed again, remembering how kind Derek always was to her. It couldn't be that he didn't feel the same way about her…in fact, hadn't he asked her personally if she wanted to be his assistant? _His personal assistant_? That had to mean something. April smoothed her doctor's coat down and took in a deep breath before striding down the hallway but when she reached the parking lot, she was just in time to see the red points of Derek's taillights disappearing into the night. She took in a deep breath and slowly made her way back inside.

* * *

April glanced around to make sure no one was around before entering Derek's office. On the wall amidst a cluster of diplomas and certifications hung a photograph of Meredith and Derek and across the bottom someone had written, _**'Love you always'**_. April grimaced and ripped the photo off the wall, tearing it in two but before she could consider the ramifications of her actions, she heard voices growing louder. Coming down the hall were Alex Karev and an unfamiliar male. Nervously, April started shifting. Glancing around the office, she decided to hide behind Derek's desk. She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief as the two men passed without noticing her. _What was she doing_? April slowly rose when her eyes fell on Derek's doctor's coat. She lifted it and her hands trembled…_how many dreams did she have of him_? A whimper of delight escaped her lips as she held the coat up to her face and inhaled his scent that was still lingering in the fabric. It made her nipples poke through her blouse and painted her cheeks a rosy pink. Without thinking any further, she fumbled the coat beneath her clothes and then poked her head into the hallway, making sure no one saw her leaving...

April was tired, and cold. The apartment complex in which she lived consisted of two towers, facing each other across a large, desolate, and almost empty parking lot. She crossed the square in front of the apartment building she called home, huddling deeper into her coat, the hood drawn over her face in an attempt to keep Seattle's cold at bay. She entered the foyer of the building where it was slightly warmer, the sour reek of food hanging in the air as she walked up the four flights of stairs to her apartment. As she walked down the hallway, she fumbled - her fingers stiff with cold - for her keys. She entered the apartment and locked the door, partly glad that the day was over and that she could relax in front of the radiator but on the other hand a bit sad because it would take a whole night before she could see _**him**_ again. But wait…

She hurried over to her bag and fumbled around until her hand grasped a white doctor's coat. She smiled and closed her eyes when she let her fingers glide over the smooth ID-tag. She carefully hung the coat on a dresser hanger and hung it next to a small altar which was decorated with candles. On it were several items; a blue scrub cap with boats on it, a pair of used surgical gloves, a tie and a pair of dark blue scrubs. April fixed her eyes on the altar as an image of her future lover flashed through her mind…_Doctor Derek Christopher Shepherd_.

*** * * * ***

Derek stepped into the bathroom and peed, then he undressed and climbed into the shower. Warm water streamed over him as he turned the knob to make it even hotter. After a hard day's work, he always marveled at showering and using most of the hot water, often causing Meredith to complain. He shampooed his hair and washed his body, then stood under the hot spray for several minutes. Finally satisfied, he flipped off the water, grabbing a towel. When he was done, he slipped into a grey shirt and some loose-fitting boxers before slipping into his old rubber flip-flop sandals and heading back into the bedroom.

"Hey."

"Hi," Meredith mumbled absently, staring at a magazine. Derek climbed into bed next to her and after a while his mind wandered off. His thoughts soon found their way to their conversation of that morning and he unnoticeably chuckled. They'd never seriously spoken about a baby but the feelings of creating a new life with Meredith, still coursed through his system. He hoped, after much word searching, that she would change her mind. He wanted a change, he wanted to start a new chapter in his life and he hoped Meredith wanted it too!

Meredith glanced sideways at Derek and a frown appeared on her face because of his serious expression, "Hey," she said softly.

"Hey."

A faint smile curled the corners of Derek's lips. He looked straight ahead and then at her, "I don't want you to be alone. " He paused, "…If anything should happen to me. I don't want it to be just you!"

Meredith smiled, "Well…we would make pretty babies." A feeling of utter joy coursed through Derek, "So…you're thinking about it?"

"Oh…I'm thinking about it."

Derek smiled and leaned over, kissing her lips. He braced himself on his elbows and glanced down on Meredith, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

"But…where not making babies right now," she smirked.

Derek sank down on her as hot flames of sudden passion rushed through his veins, "We're practicing," he mumbled, kissing her again.

Meredith giggled.

"It's very important to practice," he moaned while he pushed his lower body down on hers, nudging her knees apart. Meredith closed her eyes for a few moments as if thinking it over and Derek couldn't resist stealing another kiss. Only a moment later, her eyes fluttered open to reveal warmth and something Derek had only ever dreamed he would see and then he realized; _she wanted a baby as much as he did_. His pulse spiked instantly and he got a lightheaded rush from it. And then an even greater high from the way Meredith's voice came out, a little hoarse, "Let's do this then!"

As Derek leaned closer, his gaze dropped from her eyes to her mouth and he kissed her tenderly before sliding lower. He lingered over the swell of her breasts and took a leisurely glide along the curves of her abs. Finally, he fixated on the sway of her narrow hips. She was wearing black panties and he wanted them off.

His hands bracketed her pelvis, thumbs hooking under her panties and slowly pulling them down. Meredith pressed her palms against Derek's abdomen, sliding her hands up under his T-shirt. As she pushed it higher, the silken skin of her belly rubbed against his bare midriff.

"Mmm…Meredith," he breathed, letting his hands drift down until they scooped under her smooth bottom. Meredith's mouth was a whisper away from his lips when she tilted her head and smiled, "You're wearing too much!"

"You too," Derek smirked before his mouth devoured hers again. They had a small tug of war over the removal of their clothes but it only took them a few seconds until they were both naked. They both felt electric air around them as Derek grabbed Meredith's hips and pulled her lower. He watched her face as he settled the head of his erection against her. He braced himself on his arms as he just slid his tip into her moist heat. _Oh, that was good, right there_. He wanted to thrust deep but held back, wanting it to last. He slowly pulled back, waiting for Meredith to breathe and then he returned to her folds. He kept on teasing her until she started to writhe beneath him, desperate to have him all the way inside. Her hand reached down but he intercepted her hand and she whimpered.

"_Derek…please_?"

He smiled and his palms slowly moved up her arms. The soft pressure of his lips on her shoulder brought her eyes fluttering to life. She opened them and gazed up into his soft, blue ones.

"Mere…?" His voice wavered, uncertain it was truly him.

Meredith couldn't remove her eyes from Derek's. The connection of their souls and hearts shone in his eyes as his hand softly caressed her face and his fingers slid into her hair. He leaned down, brushing his lips across hers for a moment before kissing her fully. Her eyes closed again as she felt every once of his love spill into her. Her lips parted slightly, letting his tongue slide into her mouth. The gentle probing and insistence was met by her own tongue in a sweet, passionate dance that almost seemed like it couldn't end.

And as he kissed her, he slowly pushed back inside her. Rubbing his nose over Meredith's he gazed into her eyes as he slowly started thrusting in and out, "So you really want this?"

Meredith looked into his gorgeous eyes longingly, "Yeah...I really want this!"

Derek watched her eyes sparkling and his heart felt warmed by her words. He softly kissed Meredith with such passion, she trembled. Through their kiss, she gasped and then moaned as she felt him slide deep into her. Slowly and deliberately, he began pumping his body in and out of hers…kissing her as he moved. Meredith's moans and whimpers echoed through his ears with each thrust. Derek magnified his movements and thrust his hips forward, pushing himself inside her harder. Meredith's body tightened and quivered as she moaned his name, "_Oh…Derek_…!"

Maintaining the same rhythm, Derek felt his own body tighten with delight. Meredith's body still clenched and quivered as his own exhilaration began and they both moaned in unison as their bodies tightened and climaxed together. Slowly, laying down on Meredith, they both gasped for air as they moaned in sweet contentment. Derek rested his head upon Meredith's left shoulder and kissed her neck. She turned her face toward him and smiled, "That…was earth shattering!"

Derek smiled and gently kissed her cheek, "That was just the moon…," he softly said…"Now I'm gonna show you stars!"

**To be continued...;-)**


	18. Sympathy For The Parents Epilogue Part 2

**Author's note: Normally I don't do this...an epilogue is an epilogue and no new fic but some of you persuaded me to continue the story because of the three-week-delay of Grey's Anatomy and I had to admit...there is something to the story (that damn April Kepner). I hope you like part two on Sympathy For The Parents. Maybe I will add a part three but that depends on your comments. Please read part 2 and let me know what you think of it. Am I going too far or could there be a truth in my epilogue?**

**McJinx ;-)**

**Sympathy For The Parents, part 2**

It was close to eight when April's pager went off. She looked at the number on the digital screen and knew it was someone from the surgical floor. She glanced down the hallway and hurried to the hospital phone, calling the familiar extension. The phone rang several times before a male voice answered.

"Surgical floor, Derek Shepherd," she heard through the phone. April's heart almost skipped at beat at the sound of his pleasant voice. She took in a deep breath before answering.

"Hi, Doctor Shepherd. You paged?"

"Yeah…I have an IV bolus and drip in OR 3. I need you to get me some Cardizam…_stat_!"

"Sure, Doctor Shepherd…I will be there in ten."

April rushed to the medical cabinet and unlocked it. Her fingers nervously glided along the numerous vials, checking the prescription labels. _Where was the damn stuff? Adderal…Adenosine…Bactrim…Coumadin…Calcitonim…yes Cardizam!_

April grabbed the vial and around five minutes later, she stood in front of OR 3's scrub room. She hit the automatic button and the doors slid open.

"Here's…the Cardizam you…requested…Doctor…Shepherd." April's chest was heaving as she entered the darkened scrub room, completely out of breath. Before she realized what happened, she saw Derek move out of the corner of her eye. To her surprise, his face showed a look of raw desire. All signs of tenderness or care were absent from his blue eyes…only lust existed in them.

"Finally…what took you so long?"

In a heartbeat he was near her, grabbing her waist and pinning her to the wall. The sudden force of his weight pushed the air from April's lungs but it felt as if her body was on fire. The fabric of her shirt gave way as Derek ripped it from her body. His eyes traveled over her now exposed skin, taking in her naked chest. She tried to speak but he covered her mouth with his and pushed his tongue deep inside while his hands roamed across her body. A tremor coursed through April as one of his hands stopped on her right breast. She heard him mumble, "Nice!" April softly moaned as her sex began to throb with arousal in response to his actions. He broke the kiss and chuckled before moving down to her chest. His mouth came down on her breast and his lips locked around her nipple. She was breathing heavily now, partially because she was trying to catch her breath and partially because of the growing excitement in her body. Her nipples were hardening and her whole body seemed to be heating up as she felt traces of moisture between her thighs.

April's world ceased to exist and time had stopped. She was losing control fast, giving in to Doctor Shepherd. The sensations caused by his mouth and hands, she'd never experienced with a man before. Her body seemed to mold to his but then he suddenly removed his hands from her. The sudden loss of contact made her groan with disappointment but then he unloosened the drawstring of his scrub pants as well as he undid hers. When he slowly pulled them down, together with her panties April realized what was going to happen next. Her body tensed and her muscles clenched as she felt him pushing at her entrance. She felt him push into her slowly and the invasion of him was so subtle, he seemed to be going in a millimeter at a time. Slowly, methodically, he was pushing deeper and deeper and when he was finally fully inside her, April could only whimper. His pace slowly increased speed and force until he was pushing into her with all his might. They were both lost to the world, the only thing that mattered was their primal act. His mouth sought hers and was met by active, desperate kisses. No longer able to deny the passion inside of her, she needed all that only Derek could give her. She wanted to reach up and caress him, to feel the hard muscles rippling under his skin. She started moving beneath him, thrusting her hips up to meet his. She could feel the passion building inside her. _He's actually loving me_, she thought to herself…_finally_.

She was so close…so damn close…just a little bit longer…but then…

_**Beep…beep…beep…beep…beep**_

The alarm clock beeped and rumbled across April's nightstand, startling her from her dream. Her eyes flew open and she hit the button with an annoyed groan. _Oh God…why now_? In her mind she could still see Derek's face, still feel the fading shadow of his touches. For a moment, April stared into space but then she pushed her legs over the side of the bed. Her feet hit the floor with a thud as she slowly made her way into the bathroom. Sometime later, after an invigorating shower, she dressed and headed down the stairwell for another day at Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital where she would work along side the love of her life.

*** * * * ***

On the other side of town, Meredith awoke when Derek brushed his lips against hers in a soft kiss. She opened her eyes, still heavy from sleep and found him hovering over her.

"Morning, beautiful," he said, bending down to kiss the top of her head, "I've made some breakfast, if you'd like to sit up and share it with me?"

Meredith pulled the covers down a bit and was met with the delightful aroma of fresh-made coffee and toast.

"Mmm…smells heavenly!" Meredith sat up and rubbed her eyes to wake more fully, "What did I do to deserve that?"

When Derek didn't immediately answer, she looked at him and was surprised to find him just staring at her. His eyes, dark with an emotion, she couldn't quite identify. It could be longing though?

"_What_?"

"I was just thinking of how lovely you look first thing in the morning, especially after we made love," Derek said. He regarded her for another few moments before tenderly smiling and moving the breakfast tray to her lap. Meredith looked down and felt her jaw drop. There were pancakes, scrambles eggs, wheat toast, freshly squeezed orange juice and coffee.

"I can't eat all that," she protested.

"I know," Derek grinned. "It's for us to share." He walked around the bed to sit down next to Meredith. He leaned in toward her and took two forks off the tray, handing one to her. When they were done eating, Meredith raised her right hand to touch Derek's cheek. She kissed him before softly confessing, "I want to take that next step with you…so!" She opened the drawer on her nightstand and took out a circular package, Derek recognized as her birth control pills. She tilted her head and smiled as she dropped them in the waste bin. Derek smiled warmly at her as he slowly shook his head then he shifted back on the bed.

"I love you," he whispered before he kissed her forehead.

Meredith closed her eyes, "I know."

Derek slowly ran a hand down Meredith's side, "…Now that we have that covered…I say we have a lot of practicing to do…a lot!"

Meredith smiled before Derek took her mouth. She ran her hands through his hair and thought she was the luckiest woman on earth to have a man as wonderful as Derek Shepherd…

*** * * * ***

As Derek toweled off, his cell phone rang. He grimaced because he had to get it. It would probably be April, rubbing in, he was running late. Derek smiled…OK he was late but it sure had been worth it. He still reveled in the moment of making love to his wife as he wrapped a towel around his damp middle and scrambled for the sleek black phone on the nightstand in the bedroom.

"Shepherd." Derek cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear as he sat down on the bed, looking for his shoes.

"Derek…it's Marc."

"Marc? What's going on?"

Derek's eyes flew open as he recognized panic in Marc's voice.

…

"OK…I'll be right in and Marc…calm down! Women have been giving birth for decades."

Derek quickly got dressed before hurrying down the stairwell.

"Meredith?"

"Yeah?'

"I have to go in…Marc just called. Sloan is about to give birth!"

"Sloan Sloane?"

"Yes."

Meredith giggled, she could almost imagine Marc nervously pacing around the delivery room, "OK…you go ahead. I'll drive my own car."

"Good…see you later," Derek smiled, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before sprinting away.

Meredith smiled and leaned against the doorframe, watching him leave then she went inside to get dressed.

*** * * * ***

When Meredith entered the resident locker-room an hour later, she saw Cristina lying on the wooden bench just staring ahead at the ceiling.

"What's with you?"

A heavy sigh and a deep breath were the only responds she got from Cristina. Meredith frowned and slowly sat down in front of the bench.

"Cristina…what's going on?"

Cristina finally turned and looked at Meredith, "I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Owen."

"Did he do anything to you again? I swear I'm gonna…," Meredith's small hands turned to fists but Cristina chuckled and shook her head.

"No…no…he didn't hurt me. It's just…he was angry and I backed away….but he promised to talk to Wyatt, "Cristina waved her hand, "…I don't wanna talk about it. I'm just glad you're here…why are you late?"

Meredith smiled and then glanced around; making sure the locker room was empty.

"I've slept with Derek."

"You've slept with Derek? You have sex with Shepherd every night!"

"Yeah…but…," Meredith leaned closer to Cristina; "…we're trying for a baby now!"

"A baby? You want a baby?"

"Yeah…Yes," Meredith said more firmly.

"Wow," Cristina slowly said.

Meredith smiled slightly. She shifted her position so that she faced her best friend. "Cristina," she whispered soft enough that she could only hear her, "…no matter what happens…You'll always be my person. A baby doesn't change that. You're my best friend…now and forever!"

Cristina gaped at Meredith for a moment and her words repeated themselves in her mind, then she smiled widely, "You go ahead with Shepherd," she said happily, "…as long as I don't have to have them!"

Meredith giggled and slowly pulled Cristina to her feet, "Come on…let's go see if Sloane's a granddad yet!"

On their way out, Meredith pushed the light switch sealing the locker room in complete darkness. A few moments after Meredith's and Cristina's departure, April quietly moved away from her hiding place sitting down on the wooden bench. Tears ran down her cheeks and she couldn't believe that Derek would do such a thing…_having a baby with Meredith while he was in love with her_?

April's eyes were filled with madness and she looked angry and displaced, tears still running down her face. A scowl disfigured her face, "Bitch!" April's anger and frustration led her to cry with loud outbursts. She pounded her fists on the wooden bench. Her hand hurt but she didn't care. Her anger was building even more than it was. Tears flowed from her brown eyes and her hair was flung everywhere when suddenly…the door to the locker room flew open. Standing, silhouetted by the hallway's bright light was Derek Shepherd.

April looked up and saw Derek's eyes were filled with little sparkles of concern. She looked away as he came nearer.

"Doctor Kepner?"

April's face became warm and flushed and her hands trembled slightly as she clasped them in front of her face, embarrassed he had to see her in this state.

"It's nothing…I…I'm OK," she hiccupped.

"Boy trouble?" Derek stepped forward and sat down next to April on the bench, one leg on either side to face her.

April nodded angrily because her stupid emotions kept swamping her. She pinched her eyes shut, fighting against the tears which threatened to overwhelm her. _How close was he now? Just a touch away_. She wanted so desperately to tell him how much she loved him but she just couldn't find the right words. April put a hand over her face, trying to keep from sobbing but then she felt a hand on her shoulder, gentle, supportive, caring. She turned toward Derek blindly, reaching out and he wrapped his arms around her in a protective hug. The dam burst and April wept, first into her hands, then giving up and crying against Derek's front. The fabric of his shirt was soft beneath her cheek and his arms were – as she imagined – strong, dependable. He didn't try to stop her from crying, he just let her lean against him, being the support she needed.

April struggled to stop the deluge and she pulled back, wiping vigorously at her eyes, "I'm sorry, Doctor Shepherd," she whispered.

"Shhh…it's OK," he said soothingly, stroking a hand over her hair. Derek dug in his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. He gave it to her so she could wipe away the tears on her cheeks.

"No man is worth your tears…Take some time and space so you can look at the situation with a fresh perspective."

April sniffed again, still gazing at Derek. He was right, of course. He knew how much she hurt. That thing with Meredith was a mistake. He knew it…and she knew it. Time was all they needed.

April's eyes filled with tears again, "Thanks for your advice," she whispered, fighting her emotions. Derek handed her the handkerchief again and April used it to dry her eyes, blow her nose. Derek tilted his head and gave her an encouraging smile.

"Uhm…," April took in a deep breath, "…I should probably go."

Derek nodded and rose from the bench, "Take care Doctor Kepner."

April nodded and forced herself to breathe around the lump in her throat. She watched Derek leave the locker room and smiled. Still smiling, she got up after a few minutes and stepped out into the hallway, closing the locker room door behind her.

**To be continued...or...**


	19. Sympathy For The Parents Epilogue Part 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing of Grey's Anatomy...I only wish...**

**Author's note: At first...thanks for all your lovely comments. A number of people signed up to read my future epilogues and a lot of you took the time to comment on the epilogue. This third part is however the last one...until thursday's episode. I can only imagine what they have in store for us...giving the big Finale...I only hope it's not too drastic. Please enjoy the last epilogue on 'Sympathy For The Parents, part 3'.**

**McJinx**

**Sympathy For The Parents, part 3**

Marc carefully seated Sloan in a wheelchair and pushed her through the shining, brightly lit corridors of Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital, heading for the maternity floor.

"Aaaaahhhh…God, I can't take this much longer," Sloan groaned once more, squeezing her eyes shut to keep the sweat from dropping in. Marc swallowed hard and proceeded to dab away the sweat from his daughter's forehead.

"Thanks…," Sloan mumbled rather hoarsely, smiling for a brief moment before another wave of pain contorted her strained face. Marc was now really at a loss for what to do next…of what his role needed to be; a father…a friend…someone to hold her hand? At least he knew that he wasn't supposed to assist in the actual delivery itself…he would probably pass out. Luckily, he was saved from his uncertainty when the door to the delivery room burst open and Miranda Bailey stepped inside. Sloan clutched Marc's hand more tightly, her nails digging into the back of his hand, as Miranda sat down between her knees to examine her progress.

"Ooohh," she screamed, a trail of tears escaping her tightly shut eyes. She sat up slightly hoping to alleviate some of the pain, though not letting go of Marc's hand. Sloan's breathing was now ragged.

"The baby's head is in the proper position and it has already begun its descent. You're three centimeters dilated," Miranda said.

"What…does…that mean," Sloan gasped, slightly out of breath.

Miranda smiled and held up two fingers side by side, then drawing them slowly apart, explaining what Sloan's body had to do in order for her baby to pass.

"Oh…crap…I have seven centimeters more to go?"

"The process will take some time. Given that this is your first pregnancy…labor can take twenty-four hours…sometimes more," Miranda explained in a calm way.

"My first…and my last…," Sloan whimpered as another contraction hit her. Marc searched Miranda's face and she smiled soothingly, "She's got a long way to go Marc. We can take it from here."

Marc pulled turned his head to face his daughter, "I'll be right out in the hallway…just one step away. Don't be afraid…Doctor Bailey will take good care of you!"

…………

Marc impatiently paced the long corridor of the maternity ward, back and forth. "Why is it taking so long? Is this normal?" He glanced at the clock…it was now close to three AM.

"It takes some time Marc, especially since it's her first," Derek said calmly. "Why don't you take a seat…I'm sure Bailey will call us in when it's time!"

"I can't take it anymore," Marc wrung his hands, "I've never been this nervous. I'm nervous for Sloan but also for my grandson."

"Ah…you're having a grandson?" Meredith said smiling while she glanced at Derek. Marc nodded and finally plopped down in one of the waiting chairs. He chewed his thumbnail, thinking of the events of the previous year; the events that had led up to this night in the maternity ward.

Last year, Sloan showed up at his door; his daughter! He still remembered her mom and when she'd told him she was pregnant. He'd left her in the opinion she'd had an abortion…but she hadn't and now his daughter was pregnant herself. They'd discussed adoption but Marc was against it. He wanted to raise the baby himself…maybe with some help from Callie but his daughter had declined. She was determent to go ahead with the adoption.

Now the birth had arrived and the only thing that mattered was that tiny baby…_his grandson_. Marc had been waiting with Derek for nearly seven hours now. How much longer could it take?

"Has Sloan decided on a name yet?" Meredith asked, taking Marc's hand in hers, trying to take his mind off what was going on in his head…and the delivery room.

Marc shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno."

Meredith opened her mouth to speak again but before she couldn't, Miranda stepped out into the hallway. Marc jumped from his chair.

"Is the baby born? Is my daughter OK? How did it go?"

Miranda smiled and held up her hand, "One question at a time Marc. "Yes…your grandson is born and your daughter is just fine. She did great! Congratulations Doctor Sloane!"

Derek smiled and hugged Marc, "Congrats man!"

Marc had a smile from ear to ear and kept saying, "I have grandson…I HAVE A GRANDSON!"

"You can see them if you want?" Miranda said opening the door to the delivery room. Marc slowly followed Miranda inside. Sloan was holding a small baby, wrapped in a blue blanket. She looked tired but happy.

"Wanna hold him…_dad_?" Sloan softly said.

Marc nodded and Miranda lifted the baby from Sloan's arms, placing him into Marc's. He smiled down on his grandson. He had a small tuff of blonde hair and when Marc softly touched his cheek, the baby's eyes fluttered open, just long enough for him to see they were bright blue.

"He's beautiful!" Marc softly kissed the baby's forehead.

"Oh God…What must I do?" Sloan suddenly broke down completely and started crying hysterically, "…I can't hold him. I'm not…ready…to…be…a…mom…yet!"

Marc raised an eyebrow as he frowned at his daughter then he glanced around the room, desperately looking for someone who could take the baby who'd started crying also.

Meredith stepped forward, "Give him to me Marc…I will take him to the maternity ward so you can talk to Sloan!"

"Thanks Meredith," Marc mumbled with a hint of smile while he handed the baby to her.

…………

Meredith gently rocked the baby in her arms as she made her way down to the maternity ward. Unlike most of the rest of Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital, the maternity ward was flooded with brightness and pink and blue colors, exclusive from the rest of the hospital. Inside Meredith peered down on the small baby in her arms. He was quite awake and clearly not interested in sleeping. The sight of the newborn baby sticking its adorable, little tongue out made Meredith's maternal instincts instantly kick in. She smiled at the little baby with delight, cradling him tightly and holding his small head to her chest. The weight of the baby in her arms felt so right, so perfect she wondered why she ever doubted having a baby with Derek; _this_ was definitely what she wanted! For a moment Meredith closed her eyes and brushed her face against the baby's soft blonde hair.

…………

Derek stood outside the maternity ward for several minutes, mesmerized by the tender look on Meredith's face as she lifted the tiny baby to her chest. He smiled and slowly shook his head as a warm sensation settled in the pit of his stomach and he knew then; _she_ would be the mom of his future children!

"_Meredith_?" Derek said softly from the doorway to the maternity ward.

"Hey," she said shyly, feeling slightly embarrassed as Derek smiled up at her. She placed the baby in his cubicle and attached his name tag, leaving the nurse with the necessary information she needed about baby Sloane and then they both left the maternity ward.

"Come with me!" Meredith reached out and grabbed Derek's wrist, applying some pressure with her thumb. Derek looked questioningly at Meredith, his face a mixture of tenderness and confusion. Meredith glanced around making sure no one was watching but the hallway was empty in both directions. She opened the door to a supply room, pushed Derek inside and closed and locked the door behind them.

"I know…you probably I'm crazy," Meredith said softly, "…but yes I want a baby…and I want it now…I'm ready Derek…soooo ready!"

She waited for Derek to say something but he remained silent, his expression tender but unchanged. She felt his gaze linger on her face and then it traveled lower, straying to her mouth. He stepped closer and lifted a strand of her hair, bringing it to his face and inhaling her scent. For a moment Derek closed his eyes and when he lifted his black lashes again, they shone like lapis. His gaze bore into her and without taking his gaze off Meredith; he dug his fingers into the waistband of her scrub pants and pulled her to him. Her pants were suddenly open and he pulled them down over her hips, revealing her white panties she wore underneath. He traced the lace edging and then gripped her hips pulling her closer. Finally, he looked up at her.

"You're not crazy! Your face…when you watched that baby was so…so tender," Derek whispered while his throat slightly constricted. Meredith's eyes widened as she suddenly understood what Derek was pouring out to her through his eyes and she blinked with the realization; they were both ready for a child of their own! She felt warmth run throughout her entire body and it was an explosion of overwhelming feelings. Derek softly kissed her and Meredith welcomed the touch of his arms around her and the feel of his body pressing against her. Pulling back slightly, she looked into his eyes and leaned in again, this time kissing him harder. They both parted their lips and Derek slipped his tongue into her mouth. Meredith deepened the kiss even more, tracing Derek's jaw line softly with her fingertips. When they finally withdrew, she gazed at him longingly, "This feels so right…you know?" All of her emotions were coming out, "Derek…I want you so badly…and I love you so…much!" Her eyes pleaded with his and Derek smiled. They could see it in each other's eyes, the fires of passion burning deeply. She slowly removed his shirt and let her fingers roam his smooth chest, loving the feel of it. Derek pulled her in for another kiss, their lips and tongues moving quickly. As Derek kissed her again, he ran his long fingers underneath her scrub shirt, caressing her breasts through the thin material of her bra. He pulled away from her, looking at her flushed face and her chest slightly heaving with passion. Her eyes were now half-closed and Derek pulled the scrub shirt over her head, unclasping her bra in the process. It glided off her shoulders and he softly caressed her.

She softly moaned when he breathed into her breasts, before placing butterfly kisses around her nipple. She softly panted his name as he moved slower with his mouth kissing her smooth stomach and with each kiss coming dangerously close to her center. He slowly moved his palms to Meredith's hips, pushing down her panties. He looked into her eyes before he bent down and brushed his tongue against her, causing her to squirm with delight. He softly brushed his tongue along her bundle of nerves when Meredith burrowed her fingers into his thick black hair, spreading her legs another few inches to give him better access. Derek moved his tongue slowly and Meredith gasped for breath but before she had a release, he pulled up the length of her body and kissed her. As they kissed, Meredith moved to unbutton his slacks, pulling him out of his jeans and boxers. When they were both naked, Derek pulled Meredith to him and kissed her then he turned her around towards the wall. His lips were against the back of her neck and one his hands was playing in her hair, sweeping the blonde curls off to one side then he gripped her hips and pulled them back towards him, making her back push out and her spine arch. She could feel his fingers spreading her folds before he got himself ready to enter her. Meredith squeezed her eyes tightly shut as Derek pushed his hard length inside and it was as if she could feel every ridge and vein of his erection as he pushed deeper and deeper inside her. Soon he was pressed up against her back, softly caressing her breasts as he buried himself to the hilt and the base of his groin.

"Oh God…Mere…you're so tight…and so wet," he whispered while he slowly began to thrust and pump in and out of her. Meredith moaned as she felt him slowly draw out almost completely before thrusting back in. They'd never done it like this before but it felt good and Meredith pushed her back even more out. Derek groaned and slipped his hand to her front, softly beginning to stroke her. She turned her head and Derek kissed her while he kept thrusting into her. A mind-blowing orgasm caused Meredith's whole body to shake as Derek held on to her. He closed his eyes and held her close pushing into her with his own rhythm. He heard her labored breathing and this drove him to thrust into her even harder. When Derek felt himself about to release, he wrapped his arms tightly around Meredith's waist holding onto her and with one powerful thrust he released into her, his warmth spreading through her belly. After a few minutes, he pulled out of her and she whimpered softly at the loss, sliding down onto the floor. Derek kneeled down next to her and kissed her tenderly, seeing tears form in her eyes but he knew they were tears of joy and realizing they both wanted a baby…was like a dream come true…

*** * * * ***

April wandered through the long hallways of Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital, driven by the need to see Derek. Suddenly, she spotted him and Meredith outside the maternity ward and she stopped dead in her tracks, her heart pounding hard in her chest. Minutes passed and she was still standing in a dark corner of the hallway, motionless…watching the love of her life and his… whore. Finally, when she was about to leave, she noticed how Meredith grabbed Derek's hand and pulled him into a nearby supply room. April flinched; blood started rushing through her veins and her heart beat wildly in her chest. She tiptoed down the hallway and paused outside the supply room. Inside, she could hear muffled sounds but she wasn't quite sure of what she was hearing. Glancing down the hallway to make sure, she was alone, she moved closer, putting her ear to the door. She blushed when she heard Derek groan and then she realized the sounds she heard were clearly from Derek making love to Meredith.

April felt a twinge between her legs and a dull ache started. She surprised herself when she felt her own hand pressing against her heat. Oh…God, she was in the hospital with her hand between her legs. She quickly withdrew her hand and for a moment, she laid her head against the doorframe imagining he was making love to her then she clenched her teeth in anger and turned left toward the stairwell.

*** * * * ***

April sat in her car and watched an ambulance bringing in a patient. Her car was a Volkswagen Golf convertible, only a couple of years old and blue colored. She started the engine and slowly drove towards the side of the Hospital's parking lot…waiting! A small smile was lingering on her lips however bad she'd felt a few hours ago. At least now, she could concentrate on someone's suffering or at least, she could help put someone's suffering to and end.

April looked at her watched and realized it couldn't take much longer…and then finally…_there they were_! April gasped when Derek tightened his arms around Meredith. She smiled up at him and raised her left hand to interlink with his fingers hanging down her shoulder. Derek grinned down at her as they walked towards the parking lot. He knew where he'd parked his Jeep and they just looked at each other, talking about what the future would hold for them when Derek suddenly noted the smile on Meredith's face drop.

"_Meredith_?" She looked horrified and Derek turned to look what she was looking at. Suddenly out of nowhere came a blue car rolling down at them at a high speed. Meredith screamed as she was suddenly grabbed from behind and literally hurled through the air to land on the concrete parking lot. Derek was hit by the car, launched through the air and slamming into a wall a few feet away. He made no sounds as his body hit the ground.

Meredith cried out in horror and almost twisted her neck, spotting Derek, unmoving on the ground.

"_DEREK_?" Meredith crawled towards Derek's motionless body, "…_DEREK_?"

"You ruined it! You ruined it all!" April muttered in a trembling voice, stepping out her car and walking towards Meredith, "He's mine…I love him," she snarled as she lunged at her. Meredith raised her arms in front of her chest as someone suddenly sent April crushing into the wall, head first. Her body slumped against the wall and slid down to the ground.

"_Meredith_?" Alex' voice cut through the haze. Meredith opened her eyes and focused on Alex' face, dragging her legs under her and rising. She was just in time to see how they lifted Derek's motionless body on to a gurney and rushing him inside the hospital.

**To be continued in the next episode of Grey's Anatomy ;-)**


	20. That's Me Trying

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy...I only wish ;-)**

**Unfortunately I haven't been able to write recently but since I'm sick home with my back, I had some time to spare to write an epilogue on the last episode of Grey's Anatomy. It's a short one but hey...it's better than nothing. Please enjoy and remember; "Grey's Anatomy is the best!" **

**Have a nice week!**

**McJinx**

**Epilogue on 'That's Me Trying'**

_**Meredith's pov: **_

Walking through the front entrance of Seattle Grace Mercy Hospital, I angrily push aside the two large doors which sway back and forth with the force of my push. Darkness surrounds me as I hurry to the parking lot trying to block out the trivial thoughts surrounding me; _I'm ruined…I am dead, I am wrecked…Why are __**you**__ OK? I didn't have a choice and __**you**__ did that…_

The thoughts are like a stabbing migraine and I try in vain to clear my head, reciting the seven common causes of post-op fever but even those can't quiet the harsh words Cristina has spat at me. I clench my teeth, get inside my car and just sit there. _Still, angered but most of all sad…sad because I have a feeling I've just lost my best friend_.

My heart starts racing, pounding so fast I'm afraid I'm going to pass out. I squeeze my eyes shut, swallow hard and take a deep breath before turning the keys and starting the engine of my car.

_I want to go home. I want my bed, but most of all…I want Derek. _

I need him to hold me and comfort me. I need him to tell me that everything will be fine; that it hasn't been my fault my best friend is ruined for life. I can't prevent the tears that now begin to inch down my cheeks but deep down inside me, a spark of anger also flares at the unfairness of Cristina's acquisitions.

_Is it really my fault she is ruined? What about me? I have lost my baby…a new life. A life, Derek and I have created_.

I let out a frustrated scream and pound the steering wheel with my fist, which probably isn't the smartest thing to do because my Jeep almost swerves into a ditch. A curse comes from my lips and I hold the steering wheel tighter. After a few minutes, I pull my car into the driveway and turn off the engine. The sudden silence hits me like the first touch of cold water on virgin feet and without the hum of the engine; I realize I'm home…_and alone_. Sad tears sit in my eyes but my anger refuses to let them roll down my cheeks. I go inside the house and close the front door behind me. I head into the kitchen and although it is dinner time, I'm not at all hungry. I take another glance around the kitchen but then decide to go upstairs. Inside the safe confines of my bedroom, tears of utter misery immediately begin to steal down my face as I stare at the framed post-it in front of my eyes.

_Derek…where is my husband?_

Tears stream down my face and I sob until I have no more tears left. Apparently, I've lost all sense of time and place because suddenly Derek stands in the room and starts talking. I listen to him without really hearing his words;

"_I had the worst day today. I'm working…uhm…working on the grand proposal…and ah…I just couldn't do it when I realized…it was __**you**__. It's a clinical trial for Alzheimer's. It is serious work and I couldn't think of anything but you. I know you wanna be a part of the trial but I can't have you anywhere near it_."

I feel Derek looking at me and my throat painfully constricts. I swallow hard because I fear I'm about to cry again. He reaches forward and lightly touches my hand when I blurt it out, clumsily and shortly, staring straight ahead.

"Cristina blames _**me**_."

Glad, I've found back my voice; I get to take a good look at Derek's face for the first time since he has entered the bedroom. He looks slightly confused.

"She hates me," I manage to bring out.

Derek soothingly wraps his arms around me and pulls me to his chest. He smiles softly at me as he cradles me in his arms.

"She does not hate you."

He pulls back just enough to look into my eyes. He runs the back of his hand across my cheek and almost immediately, I feel warmth spreading wherever he touches me.

"Everything will be alright," he says softly and I know he truly means it, but I can't hide the pain in my eyes so I close them.

"Meredith…look at me. Please?"

I open my eyes and look up at Derek. His eyes are shining tenderly as he gazes down at me with love. I reach up and play with the soft curls at the base of his neck. I gently tug him down on me. He instantly knows what I want and leans down to kiss me. Our kiss starts out soft and gentle but when I thread my fingers through his silky hair; he pulls me closer to his body. A low growl rumbles deep in his chest as he melds himself to me and we slip away into our own little bubble where nothing can touch us…where we are Derek and Meredith and all that matters is our love for each other. Derek rolls on top of me and our legs entwine as we kiss. I can feel Derek's sudden hardness and I instinctively push against him.

_What am I doing?_

Derek's tenderness seems to enhance my overwhelming feelings of sadness and loss and a strangled cry escapes my lips.

"No…stop! I can't do this right now." I hastily pull away from Derek and protectively cross my arms over my chest, hugging myself lightly.

"Meredith?" Derek says a little confused.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, forcing a smile on my lips. "I guess I'm a little overwhelmed by it all."

"What exactly has happed between you and Cristina?" Derek asks softly while he sits down next to me.

"Not much…," I mumble weakly. "We were up on the roof waiting for the helicopter. I wanted her to confide in me but she accused me for ruining her. She said, I had been through the same ordeal but I seemed to be alright despite my miscarriage and nearly loosing you. She said, I begged her to safe you. If it had been anyone else…she would have…walked…away!" The last words barely come out of my mouth.

Derek hugs me tightly and gently rocks me back and forth.

"You're not to blame," he whispers in my ear. "Cristina is in a dark place right now. I'm convinced in time…she will look at this differently." Surprisingly, Derek's words calm me a little bit. I look up at him and then snuggle my face into his neck.

"She would have never walked away," Derek whispers quietly.

"I know," I mumble.

_**Derek's pov:**_

Meredith's lower lip trembles and big tears start rolling down her cheeks. I pull her onto my lap and rock her as she starts sobbing into my shoulder, "It's OK…just let it all out."

"Oh, Derek…I'm afraid…I've lost…her," she cries with a catch in her voice. I wrap my arms around her shivering body and pull her closer to me.

"Shhh…you haven't lost her. Everything will be fine."

After hours, Meredith's sobs finally change into a heavier breathing that tells me she's fallen asleep. I carefully pull off her jeans and toss my own clothes on the chair beside the bed, wrapping my arms around her. I feel the uncontrollable need to protect her. She unconsciously presses her back further into my chest and I hold her close, cherishing the feel of her against me. When I awake a few hours later, moonlight is streaming in through the windows. I roll onto my left side and automatically slide my hand across the sheets to the other side of the bed. I feel Meredith's chest is rising softly with each breath and in slumber, she looks more relaxed and peaceful. Slowly, I reach out my hand, lightly brushing my fingertips against some strands of her silken hair.

_I love her so much_…

She stirs beside me; warm against my side. Her face is shining in the moonlight. Carefully leaning over her, I brush my lips lightly across hers, barely touching, just needing to feel closer to her for only a moment. The love in my heart is so strong, it is nearly overwhelming. I caress her cheek with my thumb and kiss her again, a little more firmly now. Drawing back, I can't help but grin as she smiles in her sleep.

"I love you," I whisper after a bit, knowing she can't hear me. "I hope you know that."

Fingers brush lightly against mine as she repositions herself beside me and suddenly her eyes are peering into mine, as always stealing my breath away.

"I love you too," she murmurs simply, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to wake you."

Meredith reaches up and touches my cheek with her fingertips. I swallow hard wanting so badly to lean down and kiss her but I hesitate. I know she's in a fragile state but she slightly turns her head to look at me. I open my mouth to speak when she lifts her head and presses her soft lips against mine. I open my mouth inviting her in and she obeys. Her tongue slides into my mouth, accompanied by a soft moan. I melt from that one kiss alone which sends scorching passion through my body.

"Derek?…Please make love to me?"

Those simple words rip through me so abruptly I can only reply with a simple nod of my head. Meredith smiles at me before moving in to capture my lips again. She raises her hands and reaches for my face to softly caress the sides as we kiss. We kiss for what seems an eternity, touching and feeling until I move my hands upward to take off her shirt. I wrap my arms around her waist while I rest my head against her abdomen; my head gently rocking with her breathing. She trembles when I pull my head away and with a quick motion I push down her white, silk panties. I sit up and unclasp her bra and her nipples that are already erect become even more so. I remove her bra and take off my boxers before sliding next to her under the warm, soft covers. Immediately, I feel the familiar softness of her breast nuzzling my ribcage and I lean forward, letting my lips lightly caress her nipple. I suck on it gently while my other hand cups her other breast, my thumb rubbing over the nipple. I can feel her shiver under my touch as she moans and sighs in ecstasy. My lips travel to the side of her neck, my tongue running over her skin, pressing against it firmly. Meredith moans and squirms under my caress as she whispers my name and begs me not to stop. When I pull away I can see goose bumps on her skin as her chest moves up and down in a rapid motion.

_I love how she reacts to my touch…_

I kiss her slowly and tenderly before I start to travel down her body; kissing and tasting her skin, she moans softly in the pleasure of the moment. Meredith's legs automatically part as I place myself between them and I lower my head to her glistening sex. My tongue runs over her lips as her hips start to grind, the taste of her intoxicating me. Hoarsely moaning out my name she rests her hands on the back of my head. She gasps when she feels my tongue penetrate inside of her, sliding in and out slowly, touching all sides inside her womanhood. Just her taste alone makes me want to keep going until she begs me to stop. Her legs rest on my shoulders as my fingers gently separate her folds. I run my tongue in between them. I slowly push inside, moving over her g-spot over and over again until her body trembles in excitement.

_"Mmm…Derek…Oh yes…yes!"_

When she's calmer I lift my head up from between her parted legs. Slowly I lay next to her on my back as she straddles me. Her eyes look down on me, burning with desire and passion. She looks down and bites her lower lip as she moves her hand over my shaft, arousing me so much I let out a low growl.

"Mer…Mmm!"

Meredith smiles and lowers herself down on me, taking my erection into her mouth. She slowly starts moving her mouth over me, heightening the excitement within me, up to the point where I think I can't be able to contain myself any longer. It is then that she stops and sits up looking at me with a playful smile on her lips.

I sit up and grab her waist, positioning her over my eager manhood. She holds my erection as she slowly lowers herself down on me. I can feel myself penetrate through her wet folds and she gasps. I hold on to her waist as I slowly thrust up into her.

"Oh…Derek, this feels…so good," Meredith moans in a panting voice.

Her body shakes wildly as she lets out a loud moan, her eyes closing as she smiles in satisfaction. Her body continues to grind down on me as the pressure grows stronger and stronger until I can't hold back any longer. Without hesitation, I feel myself explode inside her; feeling it flow within her sweet womb, like a river into the sea.

"Oh Derek…yes…Oh…God!" Meredith screams in ecstasy.

I keep thrusting inside her, letting myself drain inside her. Meredith tilts her head back and collapses forward on top of me. My arms wrap around her as we kiss each other tenderly. My fingers move through her silken hair as we both try to catch our breath.

"Oh…Thank you," She whispers as she raises her head to me.

"You're welcome, "I grin."

She blinks and leans toward me. "Hey…the night is not over yet. There still so much more I want to share with you," she says smiling.

**To be continued in next week's episode...**


	21. Don't Deceive Me Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy...I only wish.**

**I haven't written much lately but I'm home sick with the flue (feeling a little better though) so I could spare some time. It's a short epilogue but I think you'll like it. Wishing y'all a nice day and please don't forget...comments are always welcome!**

**McJinx64**

**EPILOGUE ON 'DON'T DECEIVE ME**

**D E R E K ' S P O V **

**_beep…beep…beep…beep…beep…_**

I slam my hand on the alarm clock, groaning as I see its early time, half-tempted to roll back over and forget all about the operations I have planned today but I know that isn't really an option so I slowly sit up.

'Mer…you awake?'

I lean over and softly kiss my wife's temple but she rolls over and buries herself more deeply under the covers. With a grin, I make my way to the bathroom, gently patting her behind.

'Five more minutes OK?'

A cold shower wakes me right up and I felt energized and refreshed. I dry off and wrap the towel around my waist. Wiping the mirror, I brush my teeth before heading back into the bedroom. Meredith is still in bed, eyes closed, so I gently rub her shoulder.

'You're gonna be late!'

No reaction.

I take a deep breath and drop on my knees next to the bed. Meredith, sensing my presence, squirms a little, moving away from me. I laugh silently and shake my head, tapping her lightly on her shoulder.

'I know you're not sleeping,' I whisper moving my head closer to hers. The only answer I get is a sniff. I reach over and take the edge of the sheet between my fingers lifting it away from her face. Immediately, she snatches it back and turns her head into the blanket beneath her.

'I'm not going!'

'Why…what's wrong?'

'Why?' A muffled voice comes from beneath the cocoon of blankets, '…because Callie's pregnant and I'm not…that's why!'

I sigh and reach down, turning the makeshift hood down and away from her face. A lone tear slowly rolls down her cheek and I brush it aside with my thumb.

'Come here.' I lift the covers and climb back into bed, pulling Meredith to my chest. She doesn't resist. I brush some strands of hair away from her face, gently stroking her head in a comforting motion. Her small voice finally breaks the silence.

'Why? We have been trying for months and she…they…,' her voice cracks. I put two fingers under her chin and lift her face so I can look into her eyes.

'Mer? We will have a baby too…someday.'

Meredith wrinkles her brow and sighs deeply.

'I wanna have a baby…_now_.'

'I know,' I whisper, kissing her forehead. 'I know.' For a moment, I close my eyes but then I reach over to the night stand and grab my cell phone. I push the speed dial and roll slightly to my side when I put the phone to my ear.

**- ... -**

I close my cell and place it back on the night stand before rolling back and wrapping my arms around Meredith.

**M E R E D I T H ' S P O V**

Derek's explanation to Richard why he…(correct: we) need the day off is brief. Derek closes his cell and I hear how he tosses it back onto the nightstand. I close my eyes when he rolls over and wraps his strong arms tightly around me.

'Now…that's been take care of…let's talk!'

'I want your baby,' I whisper through my tears. 'Why does my uterus have to be so hostile?'

'I dunno,' Derek whispers, kissing the top of my head. I look up at him and swallow hard. I know there is nothing he can do to fix things. We just have to give the babything time.

'I love you,' he says softly, offering me an apologetic smile.

'I love _you_,' I say pulling him into a hug.

'Our time will come…,' Derek murmurs, nuzzling his face into my hair. I feel warm drops of water on my shoulder and I realize he's crying too.

'You promise,' I sob quietly.

'I promise.'

I feel the overwhelming urge to show him how much I love him so I pull his head to mine and quickly kiss his lips. Derek sighs, leaving his lips lingering next to mine. I kiss him again, slower this time, savoring every second.

'I want to make love to you,' Derek sighs against my lips and I pull him harder against me, wanting more of him.

'Then lets…,' I whisper into his ear before going back to his mouth. Our tongues are gently touching when I reach for Derek's towel and slowly pull it away. His lips graze my forehead and move down the side of my face as his hand slip under my nightgown to cup my breast. My nipple bears the assault of his deft fingers and every nerve in my body comes to live. I sigh as Derek lifts my gown and brings his lips to my chest. I softly moan when he starts kissing his way down my chest and stomach and stops at my panties. He grabs the hem of them and slowly pulls them down my thighs. Our eyes meet before he gently spreads my thighs and leans down. I gasp as he licks my folds and I grab his hair as he swirls his tongue around my sensitive bundle of nerves. I hear him chuckle before he slips one finger quickly inside me, allowing his thumb to find its way to brush against my hard nub. Sliding two fingers inside, he sends ripples of heat through my body. He slowly eases his fingers in and out mimicking the movements of making love. I bite firmly on my lower lip and my hips lift off the mattress. Derek pushes his fingers even deeper and a burning sensation circles in my veins. My muscles spasm and when I clench down I can feel his fingers inside me even better.

'Ohhh…Derek.'

He changes the rhythm, his hand between my legs pushing in faster and faster and I feel the friction, the slide of his fingers inside me and..

'Derek…Mmm…I'm about to…ohhh.'

He crooks his fingers and I come undone. My muscles grip onto his fingers and it makes my orgasm even better. My hips lift and buck and my body writhes. I feel my release all the way to my toes, up my thighs, every muscle contracting. I gasp for air as my skin tingles and the room is blurred. Derek carefully pulls out his fingers and I shudder. He smiles as his eyes find mine.

'Tell me,' he says softly. 'Tell me what you want?' He leans closer and rubs his chin back and forth over the sensitive skin of my breast as he waits for my response, his stubbles brushing softly over my hardened nipple.

'I want you,' I gasp, pushing my body against him in encouragement. A smile tugs at the edges of his mouth as he sits up and pulls my nightgown over my head, tossing it into a puddle onto the floor.

**D E R E K ' S P O V**

Gently, I nudge Meredith's legs apart so I can settle myself between them.

'I'm going to make love to you…long and hard,' I whisper before peppering her face with gentle kisses before finally making my way to her lips. As our tongues move at a slow and languid pace against each other, I lift her legs and guide myself to her entrance. Her hands find mine and she helps me guiding my erection into her, still kissing. She moans deep and long into my mouth as I support myself above her so I can put more control into my thrusts. Meredith's hands slide down my sweaty back and all I can focus on is the way I'm about to make love to her, the angle so perfect. The sensation brings tears to my eyes and she looks up at me, lust and need in her gaze.

'Let's try making a baby,' she whispers.

I start to thrust slowly in and out, peering down at her. She reaches up and holds my head between her hands, stroking her thumbs across my cheeks. She's softly moaning.

'I love you so much,' I whisper softly.

'I know,' she sighs. 'I love you too.'

I lean over Meredith and slowly kiss her. When I slide my tongue into her mouth, she softly moans and arches her back. I reach down between us to rub her sweet spot as she whimpers and brings her knees up a little higher, opening herself even wider so I can penetrate all the way up to her cervix. I thrust steadily into her as the bed starts creaking. We're both sweating and sliding onto each other and it kind of sounds like porno but I don't have time to smile because Meredith starts kissing me. She groans into my mouth, a sign for me to speed up the pace, creating the most blinding friction as I plow into her. I can hear Meredith's whimpers, moans and tiny gasps of pleasure. Her hair is fanned across the pillow and I bury my face in it as I pump into her…in and out, groaning with each thrust. I lift my head in time to see her come and the expression on her face is so beautiful. Her mouth is slightly open and her cheeks are flushed. She says my name over and over again and I feel the hot orgasmic energy pounding through her body. When I come, it's like a rebirth. I feel how my seed spills into her and I jerk, groaning her name.

'Meredith….Ahhh…I'm coming!'

She tilts her pelvis and I thrust into her one last time before I collapse onto her. She strokes my sweaty hair and I feel how my body relaxes and all the tension drains from my muscles. I lift my head enough to look into her eyes. She smiles and there's love and hope in her gaze. My nose brushes against hers as I lean in, my lips hovering over hers.

**M E R E D I T H ' S P O V **

Derek hovers over me, his beautiful eyes bright and full with love and tenderness.

'What?' I whisper.

He's looking down at me and I see how he swallows.

'Maybe we've made a baby…maybe we haven't but…Meredith, You have to know, I love you so much!' His last words almost come out a whisper and the second time this morning I feel how tears wet my eyes. I can't speak, just nod. I close my eyes as Derek kisses my neck. I can see my future…I see little boys with perfect black hair and blue eyes and pretty little girls in white dresses, clinging to their daddy's hand.

'I love you too…so much,' I whisper. '…So much.'

**THE END**

**Let's hope all of our dreams come true and Meredith Grey will have Derek's baby! It would be a dream come true ;-)**


	22. Pretty Young Thing Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't Grey's Anatomy...I only wish**

**First of all, I want to thank you for all your nice comments on my last epilogue. As a treat I've written an epilogue on PYT also (it's a hot one...but I guess all my epilogues are LOL). Please enjoy and don't forget to comment. I'll try to write more epilogues..**

**McJinx64**

**Epilogue on 'Pretty Young Thing'**

**D E R E K ' S P O V**

I unlocked the door to Meredith's house as a chilly drizzle started to drift down. I quickly closed the front door behind me, letting my briefcase fall to the floor with a thump. Homework on my clinical trial would have to wait; first some quality time with my wife. I hung up my coat on the empty coat rack and stepped further down the dimly lit hallway.

"_Meredith_?"

No answer. The house was ominously still; apparently, I was the first one home. I switched on a few lamps and flipped open my cell to check my messages; "_You have one new message_", a cool, female voice said in my ear. "Message received: Thursday, February 10th, 6.34 PM.

"_Derek…hi, it's me. I'm…er…meeting Richard after work! I have to let him know if I participate in his clinical trial…you know…the one from my mom. I'll come home as soon as I can. Love you…bye!" _

I smiled and hit the delete button to erase Meredith's message, wondering what her decision would be. Truth be told…I'd rather keep her on my own clinical trial but no matter how she decided…I would respect her choice. Because the house felt rather chilly, I built a fire in the fireplace and lit some scented candles. I was about to put some logs on the fire when my cell rang. I flipped it open.

…..

"_Derek Shepherd."_

…_.._

"_Wow…that's great news! _

…_.._

"_OK! Thanks for calling…I'll talk to you soon."_

…_.. _

I flung myself on the couch and closed my eyes for just a second when I heard the front door open. Meredith walked into the living room and put down her bag.

"Did you decide?" I asked.

She turned to me and blew out a sigh of relief.

"I did!"

I looked at her, full of expectation.

"I choose you."

I couldn't help but grin, a tingle of desire for Meredith suddenly fluttering deep in my stomach.

"I'm glad! I was going over the data you collected today and so far it is 100% insistent with the pre-trial phase."

Meredith shucked her jacket off and sat down on the edge of the couch.

"Which means what?"

"It means that it's not not working."

"Oh…that's great news!"

"Mmm…do you wanna know what else is great news?"

"What?"

"The kids aren't gonna be home for another twenty minutes!" Meredith giggled lightly as she straddled my hips. I wrapped my arms around her and her sweet lips met my hungry mouth. We kissed until we had no more breath left and were about to get even closer when voices outside the front door brought us back to our senses. Meredith made a soft noise of disappointment as I disentangled my legs from hers, aching with wanting more.

"Crap," she mumbled breathlessly into my mouth. Her eyes were suddenly intense on mine as she smiled. I got off the couch and grabbed her wrist, handing her her jacket.

"Let's go!"

"What? Where?"

"I just want to get out of here tonight…just the two of us…alone! I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to. And if you rather stay home …–."

"Derek," Meredith breathed. "Shut up!"

I closed my mouth and watched her intently. She smiled and handed me my car keys.

"Let's go!"

And we went…

**M E R E D I T H ' S P O V**

Derek got onto the interstate and we drove in silence. It was cold enough that cars just getting onto the highway puffed visible white exhaust into the frosty air. Derek used one hand for steering and the other to twine his fingers with mine. This was so much better than staying at our (sometimes too) crowded house.

"So," I said softly after a while, running a finger over the back of his hand. "Where are you taking me?"

Derek glanced at me, the dash lights illuminating his handsome face.

"You'll see…There's just something I have to show you!"

When Derek turned onto a dirt road that ran uphill, I frowned. This was the road to his trailer. When we reached the top of the hill, he parked his car and opened the door on my side. Cold wind hit my face as we walked out into an open field along the road.

"It's cold," I shivered. Derek chuckled and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer to him.

"Are we going to your trailer?"

Derek shook his head.

"I've had the trailer put in storage some months ago…No, there's something else…!" And then it dawned on me; Derek was taking me to our new house! I narrowed my eyes trying to put them into focus when the house loomed up before me.

"Oh!"

I blinked and gaped at the house in front of me. Derek smiled and let me up the stairs to a large wooden deck.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded. Derek's slender fingers curled around the doorknob, turning it and pushing the front door open. I stepped into the house, gawking at the large hallway. I blinked at the spiral stairway in front of me, admiring the lovely antique banister and the wooden steps. My eyes trailed around, studying every single detail until my gaze landed upon Derek again.

"It's beautiful!"

He flashed a charming grin at me. "You've seen nothing yet."

He stepped by my side and took my hand. Inside it was warmer and soon blood rushed to my face, painting my cheeks red. I held my breath as Derek opened the double doors that led to the living room. The living was large but cozy with a high vaulted ceiling, an oak wooden floor and a large stone fireplace. Moonlight spilled in through the large windows and as I walked closer I saw the most amazing view of downtown Seattle.

"Oh, Derek…this is…_!" I shook my head.

He pulled me into a huge bear hug, lifting me off my feet. "The contractor called earlier this evening; the house is nearly finished." I turned my head to look at Derek.

"This is the perfect house to start a family," I said softly.

Setting me back on my feet, Derek smiled at me. I caught his face between my hands and his eyes softened as he squeezed my shoulders.

"Kiss me," I whispered.

Derek wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. I put my palms against his chest, looking up at him. He leaned down to press his lips against mine and I lost myself in our kiss. When we parted, he took hold of my hand and led me upstairs.

"This…is our bedroom," he said softly when he opened the first door on his left. I glanced inside. The large bedroom was quite empty with the exception of a thick king size air mattress, on the floor.

"Derek?"

He grinned.

"How about spending our first night here?"

Greatly surprised, my eyes got a little misty but I turned to him and nodded, "I'd love to!"

Derek leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on my cheek. "Good! I'm gonna get some logs to start a fire in here," he said. "Oh…and if you wanna take a bath...we have warm water!"

I grinned, waving at him as he stormed out the door. I walked to the adjoining bathroom and for the second time, I shook my head in amazement. The bathroom was huge with a bathtub, large enough for a whole family. Next to the tub were two separate walk-in showers and on my right was a large window with a nice forest view. I let my fingers glide over the smooth surface of the double sink and then turned on the faucet. A rain of water came down from the ceiling and I gasped in excitement. I stripped off my clothes and tested the water with my toe; perfect! I sighed as I glided into the hot water and for a moment, I closed my eyes reveling in the moment. When the tub was full, the water stopped automatically. I smiled and glanced around; the bathroom was luxurious but with warm wooden accents.

"And?" Derek grinned when he entered the bathroom.

I just chuckled and shook my head. "Why don't you join me…God knows the tub is big enough!" Derek grinned while quickly undressing. "Ah…this is good," he sighed while he lowered himself in the water. I wiggled my way between his thighs as he was getting comfortable. He kissed my shoulder as I rested my head against his chest.

"Happy?" He whispered as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Very…," I mumbled satisfyingly as I closed my eyes.

**D E R E K ' S P O V**

When we entered the bedroom again, an orange-red glow reflected from the fire I'd started. I threw some logs on the fire before crawling on the air mattress where Meredith's arms flexed gracefully as I moved towards her. We lay enveloped in each other's arms, covered by only a sheet, when Meredith turned her head to me,

"Listen," she whispered.

I lifted my head but heard…nothing. I raised my eyebrows but she giggled.

"That's what I mean…no roommates, no traffic, no honking…just peace and quiet!"

She stuck out her tongue at me and I started tickling her lightly, causing her to squirm and roll. As my hands got to just underneath her ribcage, she accidently smashed her knee into my balls.

"God…this hurts," I whispered in a hoarse moan, half bent over and cupping my balls.

"Oh Derek…I'm so sorry!"

"Ice…get me some…ice," I winced as the ache in my balls slowly radiated up to my stomach. I heard the panic in Meredith's voice as she reminded me that we were in our new house…without any ice.

"Come here…let me see."

I pulled my boxers down, revealing my swollen sac. I was writhing on the mattress when Meredith started to soothe my traumatized testicles, rubbing them gently between her hands. I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes but gradually the pain in my balls ebbed away. I sighed and tilted my head back, enjoying Meredith's 'treatment'. Overcome with sudden desire, I felt how my manhood grew to its full length in a matter of minutes. I shifted my hips a little, hoping to adjust it, so my erection wouldn't be so noticeable but I looked up just in time to see how Meredith clamped her lips tightly around the first couple of inches of my erection. I moaned deep in my throat as I felt her warm, moist lips around my shaft.

"Mmm…God, Mer…!"

I reached down with one hand to thread my fingers through her hair. Using my grasp, I guided her into a rhythm that would stretch out my pleasure as long as possible but soon the urge to kiss her built inside me and as her mouth dragged away from me, I saw my chance. I pulled her rather roughly back and kissed her, pushing my tongue into her mouth. Meredith grabbed me by the back of my head and returned my kiss vigorously. I held her tight, as she slightly struggled, kissing her as my hand rubbed against her. Gradually, I could feel her relax as her legs slightly parted, giving me better access. She heaved a deep sigh as my finger entered her. She shuddered and trembled at my touch as I buried two fingers deep inside her and my thumb hit her small hard nub. I flicked my thumb up and down and her feminine walls clenched around my fingers. As she relaxed I pulled her to me and softly kissed her. I don't know how long we lay in each other's embrace, kissing softly and stroking when Meredith sat up and straddled my hips. She bit her bottom lip as she looked deep into the eyes.

"Make love to me Derek. Please…I so badly want you inside me!" I sat up, kissing her forehead. I saw how she held her breath as she positioned herself above my erection until the tip of my shaft nestled between her labia. She gripped me without being constricted and soon her juices started flowing freely, making it easier to move in and out in long, slow strokes. I could feel how she rubbed herself against the base of my shaft and I varied my angle to deepen the contact. I looked up at Meredith; her eyes had a dreamy look and there was a gently smile on her lips.

As we made love, I rested my hands lightly on her hips, kissing her throat as she slid along the length of my shaft. Her tempo increased as I whispered in her ear.

"I wanna see you come…you're so incredibly hot!"

"Oh…Derek…"

I ran my hands up over her ribs and cupped her soft breasts; my thumbs stroking over her deliciously hard peaks when she suddenly began to gasp and writhe. Her feminine muscles rippled around my shaft. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she shuddered as I climaxed too, bathing her insides with my warm seed. After a while, she languidly, threw her legs over mine and laid her head on my chest. I kissed the top of her head and we lay in silence when I pulled the sheet over our bodies. Before we both drifted off to sleep, tightly in each other's arms, we both new that we had blessed our new house in the best possible way!

;-)

**Hope to see you after this week's episode...**


	23. This Is How We Do It Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy...I only wish.**

**I think last week's episode was a nice one...but Merder's bedscene was too short so I've written my own version. It's a hot one but I guess that's what I'm known for ;-) LOL**

**Please enjoy the epilogue and may all our dreams come true!**

**Wishing you all a nice Grey's day.**

**McJinx64**

**Epilogue on "This Is How We Do It'**

"Hmm...that was delicious," Meredith murmured, dabbing the corners of her mouth with a napkin while leaning back contentedly in her chair.

"Thanks," Derek grinned as he gathered up the dishes. "Here…let me get these out of the way!"

"Wait…I'll help," Meredith said.

"No…you just sit back and relax," Derek said, "I'll take care of it." Meredith smiled and sat back in her chair watching Derek. He carried the tray into the kitchen and she heard how he filled the dish washer. When he returned to the living, he found her near the windows, staring outside. He smiled and took a moment to simple gaze at her before silently moving behind her.

"See anything interesting out there?" He asked in a quiet voice.

Meredith slowly turned to face Derek, a sad smile on her face. "No, not really. I was thinking of the chief and Adele."

"Hmm…," Derek nodded. "Can I ask you a question?"

At Meredith's nod, he continued.

"Isn't the trial too much for you? I mean with the memory of your mom…and now Adele? Sometimes, I don't know what gets you through the day."

Meredith took a deep breath before completely turning to face Derek. She inhaled sharply and then slowly released her breath, stepping closer. "No…it's not hard," she answered in a whisper. "and…YOU…you are what gets me through the day."

"…Mer…!" Derek tenderly whispered.

She smiled and placed her right hand on his chest, leaning closer, stepping on her toes to brush a kiss against his lips.

"God…you don't know…," Derek breathed against her mouth, "…how much I love you!" Meredith moaned as Derek's grip on her waist tightened. He pulled her closer, simultaneously pushing her back against the wall. Her hand on his shoulder slipped into his hair, holding his mouth to hers as she opened her mouth to his exploring tongue. A low groan sounded deep in Derek's throat at the feel of her tongue moving against his, her sweet taste invading his senses. He could feel her breasts pressing against his chest and he couldn't help but smile as he felt how her nipples hardened between them. When they finally broke off their kiss, their foreheads came together as they both tried to catch their breath.

"I want to make love to you," Derek whispered in a husky voice.

"Oh yes," Meredith sighed.

Derek lifted his head from Meredith's and gave her a loving smile. He stepped back, one hand reaching up to caress her cheek before moving away from her and heading towards the stairs.

"You comin'?"

Meredith nodded, pushing herself off the wall, meeting Derek at the bottom of the stairwell. Inside their bedroom, Meredith placed her hands on Derek's chest, her fingers playing with the buttons on his shirt, slowly starting to release them as she leaned in to kiss him again. Derek returned her kiss as he tugged on her shirt, freeing it from her jeans. He pulled out of the kiss, his eyes following the shirt as it pooled on the floor.

"God…you are beautiful." Derek's voice was laced with desire as he reached out to trace the lacy edge of Meredith's bra. He stopped at the clasp and met her gaze. She nodded and watched Derek's eyes darken as his fingers deftly released the clasp. She inhaled sharply as his hands tenderly cupped her breasts, his thumbs circling her nipples. He took a step back and sat on the bed, pulling Meredith between his legs.

"Hmm," Derek murmured as he leaned in and took a rosy nipple into his mouth. Meredith moaned softly as he teased and suckled her breast, his tongue swirling around the aching peak.

"Oh…Derek," she breathed his name, pushing his shirt off his shoulders. Her hands moved down his bare arms and back up again to clutch at his head as he released her breast and kissed his way to the other. Meredith shuddered, holding on more tightly to Derek as she felt her legs weaken. He felt how she leaned against him and realized he was supporting her weight. He pulled back and smiled up at her, his fingers moving to the bottom of her jeans. Meredith moaned and watched how he quickly unbuttoned her jeans and pulled down the zipper. He laid his cheek against her flat stomach as his hands slipped along her waist and pushed the denim down over her hips.

"God…I want you," Derek groaned at the sight of her black lace panties, damp with her arousal. She smiled as Derek rose and reached for the button on his jeans.

"Oh no…," Meredith stepped in, swatting his hands out of the way. "Now, it's my turn!" Derek grinned and quickly popped the buttons of his jeans pushing them down to the puddle of clothes at his feet. He kicked them out of the way and met Meredith's gaze. She stepped closer and ran her hands down his sides, pressing her body against his. Her tongue slid over her bottom lip as she smiled mischievously and kneeled down in front of him. A long, low moan escaped Derek's mouth as Meredith sucked him into her mouth, her lips stretching over his thick shaft.

"Ah…mmm…Mer," Derek hissed.

Stroking him with her mouth, running her tongue along his length, she savored the smooth skin that sheathed the hard muscle underneath. Blood pumped through him and she felt it pulse through his erection, while it grew even harder in her mouth. Derek groaned and his entire body tightened, muscles twitching under her palms as she stroked his thighs.

"Ah…I want…need you," Derek groaned as he pulled Meredith to her feet, dragging her to the bed.

"I love you," Meredith whispered as Derek claimed her lips in a hungry kiss. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and as she felt the bed at the back of her knees, she gasped as he abruptly broke off their kiss. He eased her down onto the bed and knelt before her, his fingers hungrily hooking the sides of her panties. He met her eyes and held her gaze while quickly easing them down. Meredith shifted, lifting her hips to aid him, her eyes never leaving his. She bit her bottom lip when she saw his blue orbs had darkened with want, need and lust. Derek shifted even closer, running his hands gently up along her thighs, his fingers just brushing her soft hairs. Meredith moaned, a rush of moisture pooling at her core as he lifted his gaze again to her. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her thighs, gently opening her to his hungry mouth.

"Oh…mmm…Derek," She cried out his name as his tongue swept over her swollen folds over and over again. Derek smiled inwardly as she dug her heels into the mattress, pulling him closer as he continued to lick her, coaxing more of her juices to flow.

"D…Derek…oh…," Meredith moaned as Derek slowly pushed his long fingers inside her while his tongue teased and circled around her hard nub. Meredith whimpered, the sweet agony of her impending orgasm growing stronger with every sweep of Derek's tongue and every thrust of his fingers within her.

"De…rek…mmm…please!"

Derek increased the pressure of his tongue against her center, driving his fingers into her with increasing speed, "Come…come for me Mer…," he encouraged her. She screamed as release finally washed over her, her feminine muscles clenching around Derek's fingers as she arched against him. Intense sensations coursed wildly through her body and Derek groaned as her juices flowed into his mouth, his lips and tongue replacing his fingers, his tongue darting in and out her throbbing sex while his thumb circled her sweet bundle of nerves.

"Ooh…oh…God," Meredith cried out, her hands moving to clench Derek's hair as another orgasm burst through her.

Through glazed eyes, she watched how Derek settled his body against her, his hips fitting perfectly within the cradle of her thighs, his erection pressing against her wet center.

"Make love to me," she whispered as she shifted beneath him, opening her legs wider while her hands trailed down his sides to clutch at his firm butt as he slowly guided his hard shaft inside her.

"God…you're so…tight," Derek whispered, covering Meredith's mouth in a passionate kiss, pouring all his love into their connection as he began to thrust slowly into her. They moved simultaneously together, finding the perfect rhythm.

"Oh…Derek," Meredith gasped as Derek suddenly withdrew completely. Her gasp changed into a low moan as he sank down back inside her with deliberate slowness. "Oh mmm…," Meredith whimpered as he repeated his action. Derek smiled and leaned down to capture a taut nipple in his mouth. Meredith closed her eyes and widened her legs to give him better access. Derek pushed up on his arms and slightly quickened his pace. Meredith moaned, gripping his shoulders as the sensations built, growing more intense with each thrust of his hard erection into her. She whimpered when he shifted.

"Ah…mmm...oh…Derek!"

She squirmed beneath him, lifting her hips in time with Derek's thrusts. His lips traveled downward, moving over her jaw and neck. He suckled at her breasts, teasing them with his tongue and teeth. Derek's pace faltered as his release neared, wanting to prolong their lovemaking.

He pulled out and rolled to his side. Grasping Meredith's hands, he pulled her up to straddle his lap. His hands rested on her knees as she sank down on him. She grunted but his hands kept her from being able to move. Derek grinned at her frustrated look and slid a hand between their bodies to caress her. Meredith threw her head back and her body trembled. Her release was powerful and Derek felt her feminine walls contracting around him. He moaned and briefly closed his eyes. He felt how Meredith roamed her fingers over his chest and began to ride him in slow movements. He opened his eyes and clamped his hands down on her hip, tugging her up and down, picking up the pace. When Meredith loudly moaned, "Mmm…Derek…this is so..ohh…," he pushed his pelvis upwards, burying himself deeper inside. When Derek was on the verge of exploding, he securely grabbed Meredith's waist and pushed her backwards.

Looking into her eyes, he rotated his hips firmly forward, pushing into her as far as he could. Meredith threw her head back and moaned, wrapping her arms around Derek as he stretched her wide. Derek groaned as the head of him bumped against her womb. Mindless with desire, he kissed Meredith as he began a rhythmic thrusting. Meredith dug her heels into the mattress and gently pushed back on Derek's shoulders so she could watch their joining. Derek's eyes lowered as well, and they both gasped as they watched his stiff erection, glistening with her wetness, moving in and out amidst her curls. Meredith reached and lifted Derek's chin, leaning forward to kiss him. Derek leaned in to her kiss and kept thrusting rhythmically. Meredith pulled her lips away and gasped for air as she pulled Derek even closer. He closed his eyes and buried his face in her neck, becoming lost; in the warmth that received his invasion, the soft curves of her breasts and hips, the impassioned cries that left her lips, the fragrant mix of her conditioner and their lovemaking. He thrust quickly, breathing into her neck as he felt her body tense. The tightness spread to their joining and Derek raised his head, eyes closed, biting his lip to keep from crying out as she clasped tightly around him.

Meredith could feel every nerve in her body, every tense muscle, every pressure that Derek's body pressed upon her and a whimper left her throat as she tightened her arms around him as she finally felt his seed splashing against her womb. Strangely enough the feeling brought tears to her eyes and she bit her bottom lip.

"Oh God…," Derek panted against her neck. "That…was incredible!" He slowly lifted his head to look down on Meredith but the smile froze on his face when he saw her tears.

"Mer…what's wrong? Was I too rough?"

Meredith met Derek's worried gaze and she slightly blushed.

"I felt it," she whispered softly.

"You felt what?"

Meredith swallowed hard and took in a deep breath. "A long time ago, you've captured my heart and tonight…tonight you've touched my soul!"

Derek raised his head and met Meredith's gaze, one eyebrow lifted in surprise. She swallowed and caught his face between her hands.

"I think we've just…," Meredith's voice slightly quivered and the slight smile on Derek's face kicked up a notch, "…_made a baby_!"

**To be continued in this week's epilogue...God (read: Shonda) please let this epilgoue come true...;-)**


	24. Love, Loss and Legacy Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Hi,**

**I started this epilogue because the transition from Love, loss and Legacy to the next episode was a little too much for me. Our favourite couple went from fighting to kissing in the hallways again without explaing what happened in between...so I filled in the blanks myself. Please enjoy this epilogue. I'm convinced you will like it :)**

**Greetz, McJinx**

**Epilogue on Love, Loss and Legacy**

_**The human body is designed to compensate for loss…it adapts so it no longer needs the thing it can't have but sometimes the loss is too great and the body can't compensate on its own…that's when surgeons get involved. **_

…

_**We're so hopeful at the beginning of things that it seems like there's only a world to be gained…not loss. They say the inability to accept loss is a form of insanity. It's probably true but sometimes…it's the only way to stay alive.**_

_**Quote by Meredith Grey**_

_**...**_

It must be around three AM. I'm lying in bed and for the life of me, I simply can't sleep. It's not that I'm not tired…because _**I am**_. I'm exhausted and all I want to do is sleep but I can't so I just lie here with my eyes closed. I'm lying on my back and feel the cotton sheet underneath me softly touching my skin; the mattress is fairly comfortable and I know everything sounds perfect right? But it isn't. Why not? Because Zola's in the hospital and _**I**_…correct…_**WE**_ are not allowed to be with her. Slowly, I roll over and prop up on my elbow, glancing at Derek. His eyes are closed and except for his respiration all is still. I swallow hard because suddenly I have this overwhelming urge to graze his jaw with my fingers and to brush some stray locks away from his forehead but instead, I push away the covers and get out of bed. When I pass Zola's empty crib, I bite my lower lip and feel sadness rise in me.

_I want Zola back… and Derek._

The house is dark so I carefully feel my way toward the kitchen. The red glow of the small light on the coffeemaker is the only beacon in this darkness. I open the refrigerator door for more light and pour myself a glass of tequila. I look down at the glass in my hand. It's heavy and my hand shakes a little as I lift the glass to my mouth; the pungent smell burning my nostrils. I empty the glass in one gulp, the liquid splashing down my throat. It warms me and the heat spreads out throughout my body in seconds. Desperate to experience the sensation again, I empty a second glass in one gulp. Too quickly...I start coughing and put the glass down on the counter, my eyes suddenly brimming with tears. Angrily, I wipe them but I can't stop the uncontrollable flow that starts. I sink down to the floor, pull my knees up to my chest and cry. Not the angry frustrating crying of this afternoon but a deeper despair…

I realize my love for Zola is forever etched into my brain while my heart pounds ferociously inside my chest…the same way it did, five years earlier, when I first met Derek at Joe's bar. And now here I lay, crumbled in a heap of battered nerves, on the cold floor of my kitchen floor with a broken heart and a crushed spirit.

_What if we never get Zola back?_

No enlightening answers come into my mind and my head starts throbbing violently as another crashing wave of misery explodes from the depths of my soul.

_**Zola**_…_Just the mere thought of her makes my throat constrict as more and more tears keep coming. They won't stop. Why won't they stop? I never thought losing Zola would hurt this bad. I never thought it could be worse than it was when Derek told me he was married and the days that followed after that earthshattering message._ _Derek had told me once that not having me was like losing a hand…or an arm. I thought I knew what he meant. I thought I felt it too, but I didn't…not until now. _

_Guilt; I feel guilt; this is all on me. _

_**Zola**_…

_I'm screaming instead of sobbing now…or is that in my head? I don't know…I'm in a daze. I'm convulsing and shaking and am I ever going to stop crying? I don't know…I just want_ _**Zola…**_

_More tears…more sobbing…more shaking. _

_Does this ever stop?_

_Does pain ever stop?_

It's the middle of the night and the bedroom is pitching black when I open my eyes. Something must have woken me? I switch on the night light and after a moment, when my eyes adjust properly, I see Meredith's gone. I slip out of bed and make my way to the bathroom when I hear something downstairs.

_Are those screams?_

As I make my way down the stairs, I hear noise coming from the kitchen. When I enter, I find Meredith lying on the kitchen floor curled up in a fetal position, crying and mumbling endlessly, "_I want her back…God, please bring her back"_.

"_Meredith_?"

I say her name but she does not register my presence. Again, she screams so I call her name again but she doesn't seem to hear me. Meredith is breathing hard and I know she's about to start hyperventilating. I walk over to her and even in the faint light; I can see she's shaking badly. I kneel down and put my hand on her back. She does not pull away so I rest my head against the nape of her neck and slip my arms around her waist.

"Shhh…calm down. Slow breaths."

It takes her a while to respond to me but eventually she leans back into me and reaches for my hand, gripping it hard.

"_Derek_?" I hear the panic in her voice and know she can't catch her breath. She's gasping for air and I place an arm around her shoulder, "Shhh…I'm here…breathe with me Mer…breathe with me." She looks up at me and forces herself to take deep even breaths.

"You're having a panic attack," I whisper, brushing damp hair away from her temple.

"Do you want me to call Cristina?"

"N…no! It's…I'm fine now.

Meredith lays her head on my shoulder and starts crying again, fat tears rolling unashamedly down her face.

"I…I miss Zola so much," she hiccups.

For a moment, I close my eyes but then I wrap my arms around Meredith and lift her from the cold kitchen floor carrying her back to our bedroom. We lie on the bed together as I lay my hand on her head and gently stroke her hair.

"Do you want me to call the hospital to check on her," I ask reaching out to her.

"No," Meredith answers simply and then again, "No…Janet will probably be with her and then she'll know…_**we know**_!"

I nod and stare at Meredith's back.

"It hurts so much," she sighs softly. I clench my teeth but then I wrap my arms tightly around Meredith's slender body, pulling her closer.

_The truth is I'm scared. I've been struggling with my anger for three whole weeks now and the truth is I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. Meredith's in so much pain right now and I want to reach out to her. I want to connect with her and wrap my arms around her and hold her until all the pain and anger goes away_.

"We're both stuck in this," I whisper softly. Meredith turns around and her eyes peer into mine making my heart skip a beat.

"_Meredith_," I murmur softly, affectionately tucking a stray of her hair behind her ear. "I love you." Our lips are now close enough; I can feel the warmth of her breath. There are tears in her eyes as she looks at me, "You're not angry with me anymore?"

I smile and wipe a tear away as it slides down her cheek. "No…I'm not." Holding Meredith's chin in the palm of my hand, I continue to look into the eyes I fell in love with way back when. "Seeing you like this made me realize, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Life's too short to fight. You're my wife and I'm your husband…and I love you!"

"There's no way I can ever make up for…"

"Shhh…you don't have to apologize. I know why you did the things you did. Let's just focus on our future together. You me…and Zola."

At the mention of Zola's name, Meredith looks away and another tear slides down her cheek.

"I want her back," she whimpers. I pull her into my embrace and hold her as she softly sobs into my neck.

"It's OK, Mer," I hush her. "Everything's gonna be fine."

"You don't know that…," comes the soft timber of her voice. She sounds so broken, so devastated. I know Meredith's right and there's not much comfort I can give her at this point, other than being affectionate and supportive. For now, I'll just hold her and comfort her best I can as I try to help her and myself through the ordeal of not knowing Zola will be ours. Kissing Meredith's hair, I pull her closer against me, running my hands soothingly up and down her back.

"It's OK," I breathe against her as she trembles. "I'm here for you." I gently start kissing her tears away but can't help shedding a few of my own and then Meredith looks up and my heart clenches as she wipes them away from my cheeks. **And then it happens…**

I can't – _don't want to_ – stop myself. I want to sink into this, enjoy the excitement of lovemaking; Meredith's body pressed against mine. It has been so long…

Cupping Meredith's face in my hands, I quickly lower my mouth to hers. It isn't a kiss…not even close. It's a collision of need and want; two lovers taking, no one giving. Our tongues tangle and our bodies interlock. Meredith nips at my lower lip and I nip back. I dip my hands under her shirt; caressing her back and flicking open the clasp on her bra. When I cup her breast, feel the velvety softness, Meredith sighs. Her lips are gentle and loving and when our tongues meet, our breathing quickens and we both feel the current of need that stirs up in our souls. Feverishly, I slip both hands in the waistband of her sweats and slide them over her buttocks, lifting her enough to maneuver the bottoms down her hips. Meredith cooperates fully and helps me stripping her naked. When her pajamas are out of the way I straddle her, my knees on either side of her thighs. I bent over and kiss a path from her collarbone to her belly bottom. Meredith trembles and I know she's longing for me but I'm going to make this last. Without breaking eye contact, I part her legs and softly touch her intimately. She moans and instinctively thrusts her body upward. I smile and move lower through the thatch of her curls, brushing my tongue against her and start stroking gently and slowly. Meredith whimpers and moans and latches on to my shoulders as I increase the depth and strength of my laps. While my mouth works feverishly, I keep one hand under her and bringing the other up to caress her breast. Within minutes, Meredith becomes mindless, her entire being centering on release. Her body arches higher while I lick and suck, quickly bringing her to the brink until I toss her into an explosive orgasm.

My body is on fire; my nipples so hard they ache. Fire licks at my belly and a small firestorm swirls inside me. As my heartbeat is slowing down and my breathing returns to normal, I look up at Derek. A smile plays on his lips as he looks down at me, sliding his hand between my thighs and pushing them further apart.

"Is this what you want?" He whispers.

"Mmm…yes." My voice sounds hoarse.

Derek smiles and pushes his fingers between my folds, brushing them up and down, making me wet. I reach for him and welcome his lips on mine when his fingers enter. When he pulls back, he stands and drops his boxers, letting his impressive erection spring free. Within moments he's back on top of me and pushes his full length inside me.

_God, we're joined. Becoming lovers again._ And then there's that incredible realization as we both grow perfectly still. Our gazes lock and Derek slightly quivers. I tremble as I realize, he's completely inside of me. With incredible gentleness, Derek makes his first thrust and his blue eyes narrow and darken as he moans out my name.

"Ah…Meredith!"

Derek thrusts again and twines his fingers with mine. Our lips crush together and then we both know; nothing can stop this. Derek starts a perfect rhythm and I gasp and cry but can't stop kissing him. I moan his name and over and over again, I touch his body. I stroke his scratchy cheek, his hard male chest; I need to feel everything. I can't let go of him but know I can't hold on much longer either.

Derek's thrusts intensify as our hips rock together in a frantic motion. _God, how we've longed for this, how we've both wanted it. _

"I love you," I moan softly against Derek's ear. He clutches at me hungrily and his blue eyes grow intense, never leaving my face as he gasps…and suddenly there's that amazing explosion of warmth between our bodies as he shudders and bucks within my arms.

I bury my face against his neck and for a long moment we lie that way until awareness slowly drifts back.

"Mmm…"

Derek's blinks and my soft moan brings a smile to his lips as he starts rubbing his hands in lazy circles over my sweaty back.

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?" He chuckles.

"Mm…yes," I nuzzle my face in his neck.

Derek slides his hands into my hair and tugs my head up so he can look into my eyes, "Promise me something?"

"What?"

Derek moves his hands so, he can stroke my cheeks with his thumbs, "Promise me…we don't ever let a fight get that bad."

I swallow hard, "I…" Derek thumb covers my lips, stopping me.

"Just say yes," he says as he gazes at me. His blue eyes lock with mine, conveying more in a look than he ever can with words, "I love you Meredith," he says quietly.

"Yes," I smile.

"OK then," Derek mumbles before he leans down to kiss me again.

**Until the next epilogue...?**

4


	25. Epilogue on 'Flight'

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

**In the past, I have written quite a few epilogues to complete scenes, mostly of Derek and Meredith. During the summer I have continued my fic 'What If' so I never really thought about an epilogue following the last episode of season 8. Because I had some time to kill, I've decided to give it a try. Read my view of what happened out in the woods after the crash. Oh and guys..only nine more days to go ;-)**

**If you find the time, please comment (love reading them).**

**Love, McJinx**

* * *

**Epilogue on on Flight**

**Each of you comes here today hopeful, wanting in on the game. A month ago, you were in Med school being taught by doctors. Today... you are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five will crack under the pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play, that's up to you.**

**Quote by Chief Richard Webber**

* * *

_The clear blue sky rumbled and then clouds split wide open; a brilliant blue and white flash roaring down. The noise was overwhelming and on the deserted mountaintop, a tearing wind ripped the leaves from the trees. The roaring engine of the descending plane shrieked even louder as the pilot desperately tried to pull his plane out of its fatal nose dive. Inside the plane, Derek Shepherd closed his eyes as the cabin filled with sounds of tearing metal. He turned in his seat to grab his wife but luggage from the racks above them came raining down as the plane scrapped along a rock. Instinctively, Derek tried to grab Meredith but the seat next to him was gone. When he opened his eyes, he saw clear blue skies and trees and he automatically raised his arms to protect his head and then there was the thought; This is it! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! Derek's whole brain screamed it in silence! Holding, his breath, he nervously wiped his mouth with the back of his arm and the he bowed his head. The plane went into a glide, a very fast glide at that altitude and then finally, there was the inevitable crash that pulled all the air from his lungs…_

With a startled gasp, Derek opened his eyes. For seconds he didn't know where he was; only that the crash was still vivid in his mind. How could it be so quiet? Moments ago there was nothing but noise, crashing and tearing. Now everything was quiet. Derek tried to move but pain hammered into him and his breath shortened into gasps.

_Plane._

_Crash._

_Pain._

Derek closed his eyes again and lowered his head. When he opened them again, his hand and arm were on fire and his head felt as if someone had been pounding on it with a hammer, but nearby, he heard someone calling out of him.

'_DEREK?'_

'_DEREK?'_

'_Meredith_?' Derek mumbled her name. He tried to sit up but couldn't because his left hand was caught in a piece of metal debris from the plane. Derek glanced in horror at his hand; it was bloody and swollen and for a moment, he began to panic.

'_Meredith?'_

'Unnhhh.' Derek tried to pull himself up but it only brought on new aches and pains.

'_Meredith_?'

Desperately, Derek tried to push the metal debris from his arm but it was too heavy. Panicking, he looked around and without further thought; he picked up a rock and smashed it on his hand to free himself. 'AAAAAHHHH,' Derek's cry echoed through the woods but he was able to pull back his arm. While the pain in his hand seemed to be abating somewhat, just trying to sit upright made him weak enough to nearly collapse. When he looked down, he realized why; blood gushed from a gaping wound on his am. It dangled down his left side and slowly oozed down his hand to the ground. Pain rippled through every inch of Derek's body but he pushed himself up with his good hand. His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths and dirt and blood coated his scrubs but he didn't even seem to notice it as he slowly stumbled away from the wreckage…

…..

'_Cristina? I think Derek is dead. He would have come for us by now. He definitely would have come for us by know…I think, he's dead! And Lexie's dead. My husband and my sister are both dead and we are gonna die out here too. We are gonna die out here…'_

'_Keep it together. Keep it together'_

'_NO…you keep it together.'_

'_I'm trying…keep it together anyway.'_

'_My sister is dead!'_

'_Keep it together anyway.'_

'_You think Derek is dead?'_

'_I don't know. Maybe…but I have PTSD…so you know, I'm not reliable.'_

'_Cristina? You are still my person even if I can't rely on you.'_

'_Meredith!'_

Derek slowly and cautiously made his way through the woods, when he suddenly heard voices quite close to him, and there just ahead of him was a clearing where Meredith and Cristina were standing.

'_**Meredith!'**_

Relief washed over Derek and he let out an exhausted gasp, 'I heard your voice.' Dazed, he swayed from blood loss and shock. 'I thought I was dreaming,' he managed to bring out before he collapsed.

Carefully, Meredith poured water onto Derek's arm to clean out his wound. First, he felt nothing but then a burning grew until he wanted to cry, instead he groaned and clenched his jaw. To keep his mind off the pain, he stared up into the face, he loved so much. Meredith was so close, her tender hands taking care of him. The world around Derek melted, until she was the only one in his vision. The sky could have fallen upon him and he wouldn't have noticed. Absently, he mumbled, 'Where's Lexie?'

Meredith looked down at him and didn't answer but the answer to his question was in her eyes.

'No.'

Derek turned his head to his right and saw Mark sitting next to a piece of the crashed plane. It was only now that he noticed, he was holding someone's hand…Lexie's hand. Derek's face darkened as he looked away, genuine grief washing over it.

'OK…let's just keep it together…OK.' Meredith said, bring him back to his senses.

'OK.'

Taking in air, Derek focused on his arm. 'Loosen the tourniquet a little bit.'

'You'll bleed to death,' Meredith said.

'I need to save my hand.'

'Well…I'm trying to save your live,' Meredith said stubbornly in a tone that wouldn't allow further objection. Cristina who was rummaging through their luggage, raised her hand in triumph, 'oh, safety pin…safety pin.'

'Bring that,' Derek brought out. 'Have a t-shirt or bandana?'

'Got it.' Cristina said.

'OK…we have to close the wound.' Derek said slowly. 'Use the safety pin…move your way inside and out, and then put the bandana on top of it, and tape it.'

'What's the t-shirt for?' Cristina wondered.

'Put it in my mouth, I'm probably gonna scream a lot and…I'm gonna pass out.'

Cristina put the t-shirt in Derek's mouth and he bit hard down on the cotton, focusing on the wound in his arm. Meredith took in a deep breath and pierced the safety pin through Derek's skin, all the way mumbling, I'm sorry…I'm sorry.'

Derek's muffled screams tore at Meredith's heart and she prayed desperately that he would pass out.

'_Please pass out…please pass out…please pass out…please pass out…please pass out!'_

Derek awoke hours later, a lingering taste of metal on his lips. He sat up wildly and threw aside the blanket that was covering him. He frowned. He was outside and that was not right. He was supposed to be lying in a warm bed…preferably with Meredith next to him. Taking in a deep breath, Derek shivered because the night air was rather cold. As his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, he saw vague outlines of the plane wreck sharpen into distinct shapes and realization hit him hard. He was still in the woods where their plane had crashed. Reaching down to gather the cast-aside blanket, he huddled in it for warmth but it was only then that Derek realized, he no longer heard Meredith's soft breaths. A glance beside him proved she was gone. Panicking, Derek got up and ran to the plane wreck, his call ringing out through the silent forest:

'_MEREDITH_?

Silence. Only, a small whisper coming from inside the wreck. 'Derek…what's wrong?' Derek kneeled down next to Mark and whispered. 'Nothing…go back to sleep. I think Meredith needed to pee. I'm sure she'll be back soon.' Derek carefully tugged his blanket around Mark and left the wreck. He ran across the clearing, looking around wildly, trying to decide which way Meredith could have wandered. Into the forest? What if she'd strayed toward a ravine? Derek's throat closed convulsively and his call was almost a whimper; '_Meredith_?'

Suddenly, he noticed a shimmer between the trees and halted. There, in a shadowy spot, lit only by a ray of moonlight, he saw Meredith . She'd flung her body across Lexie's dead form and was sobbing uncontrollably. Derek sighed and watched how tears streamed down Meredith's face. He quickly closed the distance between them and heard how Meredith screamed, her hand outstretched, imploring someone to ease her pain. She opened her eyes when Derek's hand clasped hers. Tears slowly wound their way down her blotched face and Derek pulled her up, folding his arms around her.

'Shh…it's OK…I'm here!'

A small gasp escaped Meredith's lips as she whimpered, 'My sister is dead…Lexie's really gone.'

'I know,' Derek soothingly whispered…'I know.' Sobs came deep from within Meredith, rushing to the surface, emerging in a passionate howl. She sobbed out her heart while Derek soothingly rubbed her back, gripped by her pain. Feelings of grief filled his heart as he realized, little Grey was really lost to them and tears of his own rolled down his face. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Meredith's hair. At that touch, Meredith started mumbling incoherently,' I…I can't…not live without her. I…wanna die too,' she sobbed. Derek felt agony rip through his chest.

'Shhh,' he soothed. 'Don't say that…we'll make it. We can do anything when we're together. Lexie wouldn't want you to give up. She's in your heart Mere…don't you forget that.'

'No…Derek…I can't. God…this hurts so much,' she sobbed. Derek scattered kisses all over Meredith's face.

'Listen to me? Listen?' Derek's voice was soothing but determent. 'You're my wife and I love you! Now, all we have to do is remember that we belong to each other. You, me…and Zola! Can you remember her, Meredith? Remember your daughter?'

Hearing Derek say Zola's name, caused a shiver and Meredith started panting with the effort of holding it together. Her lips trembled in agony. 'I…I am yours…I would n…never forget that…and I haven't forgotten about…Z…Zola!'

Derek's voice was almost hypnotic. 'Good…that's it! We belong together…You, me and Zola. You can't give up on us Meredith…never!' Meredith let out sharp cry of pain, which Derek soothed with his lips. She clutched Derek tighter, feeling all the grief of losing her sister.

'When it hurts too much, we are just going to remember. Remember your sister and imagine that she's with her mom in heaven.' Meredith nodded, closing her eyes, seeing the beautiful picture, Derek created. She knew that when she reached the end, she would end up in heaven and there she would see Lexie again. _Again_. Just the word, brought a bittersweet smile to Meredith's tear-stained face and then she realized she would make it through this.


End file.
